Inner Space

managing emotions

Managing Emotions

Managing Emotions Using Support And Movement

Managing emotions mindfully Have you ever been told you were acting unreasonably or you blew things out of proportion? We are taught to express our happy feelings but at the same time we are told to suppress feelings of anger or sadness. From our childhood we are asked to stop crying and smile more, mostly because that is believed to be socially acceptable behavior. Naturally, managing emotions seems like a difficult task. How can we understand how to manage emotions if we have never even been allowed to express them?  To be able to manage our emotions we first need to let ourselves feel and embrace them. It is important to fully experience our emotions. Only when we experience them, can we begin to support them.  So how do we experience our emotions in a way that helps us to cope better?  Here are two effective ways for you to try and support yourself through overwhelming emotions and help you understand it. Make supportive movements You can try to support your emotions by letting your body express it through movements. These movements require you to really listen to your body.  What does your body want to do? Move it the way that feels intuitively right for you. Keep the movements gentle and slow giving yourself ample time and space to feel the effects of the movement. For example, anger is a high-energy emotion, allowing your arms and legs to move may help. Boredom tends to express itself as restlessness.  Repeatedly remind yourself to keep your movements slow and mindful. Do them to create support for the overwhelming feelings. Manage Intense Emotions. Incorporate Mindfulness into your Daily Life Understand and Practice it through our Free Mindfulness Videos Click here 2.Use touch as support Now, once you make these supportive movements, sit down in a relaxed manner. Remember, support means listening to the body and helping it to relax.  Now, take some deep breaths. Check where you can place a hand on your body to help it feel supported. Just to explore, keep your hand on your chest. Take a few seconds to sense how that feels.  See if that feels supportive. Do you feel like moving your hand higher or lower? Go ahead and do whatever feels right.  Similarly, you could explore by keeping a hand on your belly, on the top of your head or on your forehead.  Each time you support yourself through touch, stay that way to feel the support deeply for a few seconds. Only when you take in support deeply will your emotions respond and soften. Remind yourself that whatever you are feeling is your reality for now and in some time, the feeling will pass away. No emotion stays forever. It may return, but each time it does, you have the steps to work with it wisely and in a friendly way.  Working with your emotions like this when it arises and continuing to practice mindfulness regularly, will help you notice your experiences managing emotions will become less intense or difficult over time. Be patient and kind to your emotions, your experiences and yourself! ABOUT THE AUTHOR SHARE THE BLOG! READ SIMILAR BLOGS Dealing with Anger Mindfully ‘DEALING WITH ANGER’ Have you ever gotten angry at your… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Recognising Our Feelings What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 The Neuroscience Behind Mindfulness The Neuroscience Behind Mindfulness Mindfulness as a practice for well-being… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 11, 2021 EMOTIONAL HEALING: GETTING IN TOUCH WITH EMOTIONS IN THE BODY I feel so worried I’m extremely sad today I’m very… Read More Inner Space TeamMarch 7, 2015

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Body Image Difficulties

Working Through Body Image Difficulties Mindfully

What are Body Image Difficulties? How many times have you found yourself scrolling through Instagram and feeling like you aren’t good enough?  You may feel your nose is fat, lips are too thin, eyes aren’t pretty, or that you are simply not fitting into the  ideal body type. Social Media can Negatively affect Body Image -this is where our insecurities stem from to give rise to body image difficulties. However it is important to remember that the images we see online are very different from reality. It’s not just social media though, you could also find that you are comparing yourself to the people in your life. It may be your siblings, parents, friends or colleagues. But don’t worry, you are not alone! It is important for you to create the space to understand yourself. Being kind towards your feelings and experiences is a simple first step toward dealing with body image difficulties. We can only appreciate ourselves when we take the time and space to understand ourselves. Let’s do an activity for you to create a kind of friendship towards your body and change the way you view yourself.  A Practice To Appreciate Your Body In this activity you will have to bring focus to the smaller sections of your body- thanking and appreciating it for what it does for you. Before starting your practice sit on a chair or the ground comfortably, with your eyes closed. Start by taking 5–10 deep breaths. Each time you breathe in, remember it is helping you to stay alive and well. Every time you breathe out, smile and relax your body a little. Now slowly bring your attention to the area covered by your hair. Your brain is one of the most vital organs in your body, and is working all the time. Appreciate what all it does for you. Smile at it lovingly and say, ‘I thank you for taking care of me every day.’ Now, stay connected, feeling the sensations in your face for a few seconds.  Similarly, turn your full attention to your face and gradually move your attention to your whole front torso, from your neck to your chest and belly followed by your back working your way up to the seat of the body and your legs. Once you have finished appreciating and thanking your entire body, take your attention to that one aspect of your body that disturbs you the most. Focus your full attention on that one aspect.  Now simply remind yourself again how your body works tirelessly to keep you well and functional. Is it not unfair to be upset about something so minor? Smile at that aspect of your body and say, ‘I am sorry, I have not loved you enough. I am sorry I have been unkind to you by disliking you. I will try to remember how kind my body is to me.’ Now smile at that part and stay connected to it, watching the sensations for a few seconds. End your practice by taking a few deep breaths, smiling and relaxing every time you breathe out. This is a beautiful way to mindfully learn to love and appreciate yourself and deal with body image difficulties. When you focus on remembering the wonderful ways in which your body supports you every day, even without you caring much for it, you will gradually start to love your body. Your body will also respond by healing and becoming healthier. Are You Struggling With Body Image Issues? Counseling can be a great tool for you to work on your relationship with your body and lead a happy, stress-free life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment Frequently Asked Questions Are Body Image Issues only limited to a particular gender? Body image issues can affect individuals of all genders. While body image issues are usually represented as a female issue, it is, in fact, an issue that can affect anyone. How you perceive your body is linked to your self-esteem and can often lead to mental health difficulties and disordered eating.  What are other ways to improve the relationship I have with my body? Developing a healthy relationship with your body can be difficult, but it isn’t impossible. Being compassionate with yourself and accepting yourself for your qualities and your flaws can help you improve the relationship with your body. Other ways to manage body image difficulties is to challenge negative, self-critical thoughts to produce more logical, rational, and positive ones. Also, if you feel like you need some professional help, it is always great to approach a mental health professional, like a therapist to help you with this.  Do cultural and societal standards impact body image? Certainly! Popular culture or the mainstream culture often celebrate an “ideal” or “perfect” version of how a person should look. This, is often an unrealistic standard that most people fail to meet. These societal standards can often perpetuate body image difficulties as people often try to be like these ideal versions, creating low self-esteem.  About the Author This article was written by Simran Sharma, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling.  Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about body image and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Managing Difficult Thoughts Mindfully Body Image Issues In Adolescence: How Can You Develop A Positive Body Image?? Coping with Social Anxiety: The Fear of Being Judged

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DISCOVERING ARCHETYPES - DAY 4: THE CHILD ARCHETYPE

Dealing with Difficult Times Mindfully

There may be difficult times in your life when you feel like things aren’t going your way. No matter how much effort you put in, nothing seems to be falling in place! When you feel low, you may experience low moods often and you may also have noticed that you struggle to eat, sleep or even enjoy a conversation with a friend.  This could lead you to start feeling depressed and dejected! Distracting yourself with a movie or scrolling through Instagram is our first go-to method of dealing with difficult times. But no matter how much you try, you just can’t seem to shake off that glum feeling for good. More often than not, the feeling comes back, making you feel worse than before! So how do we then deal with these difficult times mindfully?  You may find this particular Zen story helpful in such times.  A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!” Begin Your Practice of Self Awareness & Well being  With Our Free E-Book ‘First Few Steps To Mindfulness’ Click here “It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly. A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!’ “It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly. The story points to the truth of life. Impermanence is the only permanent aspect in our lives. Everything you love and hold dear will be gone eventually. We don’t like to think about losing the people and objects we love, but to assume we will have them forever is pointless. Accepting that things change, sometimes not in the way we want, is an important lesson helping us to grow and become mature adults. Remembering impermanence and accepting it helps us to accept that the negative states will pass. Practicing the art of reminding yourself about impermanence frequently helps our mind realize thus and so, aids in dealing with the difficult times mindfully. About the Author SHARE THIS BLOG! READ SIMILAR BLOGS Working Through Body Image Difficulties Mindfully What are Body Image Difficulties? How many times have you… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Recognising Our Feelings What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Benefits Of Mindfulness The Many Benefits Of Mindfulness Benefits Of Mindfulness Mindfulness helps… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 17, 2021 Feeling Stuck? Why is Change Difficult ? Is there a change you’ve been wanting to make since… Read More Sadia SaeedJanuary 20, 2015

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Feeling gratitude

Cultivating Gratitude

We experience our life in a collection of moments; some moments are big and impactful whereas some are simple and small. Why is it so difficult for us to appreciate the simple things in our lives? –Something as simple as the aromatic smell of an energizing cup of coffee on a sleepy morning, Or the beauty of nature as the trees sway in a light breeze on a sunny day? Most of the time we keep thinking of the things that are not going well for us rather than the ones that are! Have you ever noticed yourself saying things like ‘This is boring!’, ‘She is mean!’, ‘It is hot!’, ‘This is not enough!’, ‘The food is not tasty!’ and so on.If you find yourself doing this, you should know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If we look at it logically, we are simply wired to see the negativity and drawbacks, for the sake of survival.  We spend more time and attention on unpleasant things around us. They start to occupy quite a bit of our mind,and over a period of time, we start becoming dissatisfied. To prevent us from reaching this stage of emotional being, we have to make a conscious effort and practice Cultivating Gratitude. One simple and beautiful practice of cultivating gratitude can help to change this habitual nature of our mind. It teaches us to notice and appreciate the things that we are blessed with.  Come, let us begin our practice of cultivating gratitude the correct way. Most of our anger and harshness comes from our excessive judgment against ourselves and our lack of compassion. This video explains why self-compassion is needed. A Practice for Cultivating Gratitude; In this practice, you will make a conscious attempt to remember the good around you. You will try to appreciate it by feeling thankful for it.   Start by closing your eyes and take three deep breaths. All the while try to be mindful of your breathing. It will create some space in your mind and help you to think clearly. Now think about the things that you are glad about. It could be something that happened today or something that is a constant part of your life. It could also be someone in your life; like someone in your family, a pet, a friend or an activity. Whatever it is that makes you happy, take a moment to imagine it. See a picture in your mind’s eye about it. Thank life for giving it to you. Smile gently, and then open your eyes.   Do this for 5 minutes everyday, religiously, to cultivate gratitude and experience a positive impact  in your life! About the author Begin Your Mindfulness Journey Now Browse Our Mindfulness Programs Click here share this blog! read similar blogs Recognising Our Feelings What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Managing Difficult Thoughts Mindfully Our mind is a powerhouse; from helping us make new… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Benefits Of Mindfulness The Many Benefits Of Mindfulness Benefits Of Mindfulness Mindfulness helps… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 17, 2021 DAY 2: UNDERSTANDING JOY- HAVE YOU STOPPED TO SMELL THE ROSES TODAY? Life is generally viewed as a series of ups and… Read More Inner Space TeamOctober 6, 2014

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How to Deal with anger

Dealing with Anger Mindfully

Have you ever gotten angry at your parents for not letting you go out with your friends? Or on your friends itself, for not listening to you? You are not alone! Being angry is natural and we all experience it at some point. It can be a frustrating experience but the good news is you can deal with anger and gain some control over it with love and compassion. Being mindful and kind towards yourself is one of the most important steps to dealing with anger. Shifting focus mindfully, inwards and away from the person or situation, allows you to let go of the constant flood of thoughts that the mind creates.  To help you deal with anger mindfully, there are a set of steps you can follow, so you can shift focus, mindfully regulate this anger, calm down and feel more in control. This activity given below can also be remembered as the PNAS practice Read also: Online Therapy for Anxiety Activity To Deal With Anger Mindfully Step 1: Pause When you feel anger, recognize your habitual pattern of dealing with it. Do you want to shut down or do you overthink or you want to react?  Instead of giving in to your habitual tendency, try to pause. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself and your body how you are feeling. Let the answer come from within you. Step 2: Name it You already have a name for your emotion. Tell yourself, ‘I am angry now. I will simply spend some time knowing my anger.’  Promise yourself that you will decide what to do with the person or situation later. For now, you will simply attend to this feeling of anger.  Step 3: Accept it “You are angry” –is the reality of the present moment. It is okay to feel angry for now.  There is no question about whether you should or should not feel angry. Instead, just simply accepting it will suffice. Maybe you can say to yourself, ‘I am angry now, and it is okay.’ Step 4: Support it Remind yourself that you need your own affection and support now. Do a quick body scan. Notice where you might feel anger in your body.  Your jaws may feel tight or you may feel heat on your face or elsewhere in the body. Anger is usually a high-energy emotion so you may feel like moving to express anger. Accept all the sensations in the body completely. Now that you can sense what the body is going through, you can actively support it. Support means allowing the body to feel the anger and helping it through a difficult time. It does not mean trying to stop being angry. Related Read: Online Meditation Course: 8 Weeks Mindfulness Meditation Begin A Practice Of Self-Awareness & Well-Being With Our Free E-Book ‘First Few Steps To Mindfulness’​ Click Here Frequently Asked Questions How can anger impact my daily life? While anger is a normal healthy emotion, it can damage many areas of your life if you experience and express anger in an unhealthy way. Anger can impair social connections, your professional life, and many other areas of your life as it can cause strained relationships and misunderstandings.  Can I eliminate anger from my life? Anger is an emotion that is essential for your survival, like the positive emotions of happiness and joy. The goal shouldn’t be to eliminate anger, but to create space for it and be comfortable with the experience of anger, and to find ways to manage it in a healthy way.  When should I seek professional help for my anger issues? If you feel like your anger is impacting many areas of your life, and is causing issues in your relationships, and affecting your well-being, it is best to consult a mental health professional like a psychologist/ counselor to understand the concern and learn ways to manage anger.  About the Author This article was written by Simran Sharma, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling.  Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about managing anger and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Coping With Anxiety Using Mindfulness How To Practice Mindfulness Meditation? Benefits Of Mindfulness

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Recognising Our Feelings

Recognising Our Feelings

What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible for making sense of our experiences in life. They help us survive, form and maintain connections with those around us. They are also one of the important factors in motivating us to do things. Since ‘feelings’ have such an important role in understanding our conscious experiences, it is vastly beneficial for us to be Recognising Our Feelings. If I ask you right now “how do you feel?”, you’ll probably say “I am feeling… happy, sad, angry, etc”. Sometimes you may take a minute to observe or recognise how you are feeling about something. If you are still unable to point out an exact feeling towards something, you may finally say “I am feeling okay”. But the real question is, ‘What Does it Mean to Feel “OKAY”?’ Our body tells us what we are feeling through sensations. For example, a hollowness in the stomach could mean you are feeling anxious, or if your face is flushed, it could be because you are feeling embarrassed.  There may not always be clear indicators to your feelings, like a ‘heaviness’ in the chest or a ‘weakness’ in the knees. Yet, it is beneficial to recognise our feelings. Simply recognising our feelings and naming our emotions can give us a sense of relief and clarity. Recognising our feelings can sometimes be a bit of a task, but there are methods to help you get there. Let’s take the help of the checklist down below. Read the list of emotions below and ask yourself patiently which feeling you are most likely experiencing now. The word ‘now’ is key. Browse Our Mindfulness Programs Click here   Pleasant Feelings Glad Joyful Appreciated Satisfied Loved Enthusiastic Cheerful Grateful Relaxed Peaceful Unpleasant Feelings Ashamed Irritated Hurt Lonely Unloved Angry Confused Embarrassed Jealous Disappointed Download this Activity about the author share this blog!

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Managing Difficult Thoughts Mindfully

Managing Difficult Thoughts Mindfully

Our mind is a powerhouse; from helping us make new friends, to getting us ahead in life, our mind does it all. It constantly works to make sense of our experiences. It also has an interesting tendency of creating stories to understand our world. However sometimes, in this pursuit, our mind can end up making false judgments. For example, you may feel  like you don’t belong in your friend circle, or you may feel that you are not prepared for your exams. Coming up with scenarios to fill in the gaps of the actual truth can lead our mind to jump to conclusions, many of which are difficult to cope with!  So how does one manage difficult thoughts mindfully? The difficult thoughts are self sabotaging to the mind and can cause you to battle with your inner self. Therefore here are three easy steps to managing your difficult thoughts mindfully. To begin with,  identify one difficult thought that you struggle with often.  Practice Mindfulness Through our ‘Free Mindfulness Videos’ Click here Now describe this difficult thought in some detail.  While thinking about it follow the steps given below: Step 1: Remind yourself; This is merely a passing thought. If I don’t engage, it will fade away. This thought is a story that my mind has created. It is not necessarily true. We have a tendency to have more negative thoughts than positive ones. It is not my fault that I am stuck with it. Step 2: Try not to add to the thought; Make a conscious attempt to avoid adding to the thought. Resist other difficult thoughts that add on to create a false story in your mind. Step 3: Return to the present; You can ask yourself: Where am I now? What am I doing now? How can I pay attention to what is happening right now in my life instead of paying attention to the thought?  You can take three deep breaths mindfully to bring yourself back to the present. You can also pay attention to sounds or to whatever activity you are involved in. Remember you are trying a new approach to mindfulness. Managing difficult thoughts will take some time and patience. Be kind to yourself ! Download this Activity about the author share this blog! read similar blogs Dealing with Difficult Times Mindfully There may be times in your life when you feel… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 Recognising Our Feelings What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 12, 2022 The Neuroscience Behind Mindfulness The Neuroscience Behind Mindfulness Mindfulness as a practice for well-being… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 11, 2021 IT’S AN UNPLEASANT THOUGHT, NOT A FACT “My life is pathetic” “Others are so much happier than… Read More Inner Space TeamSeptember 23, 2013

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offline retreat on self compassion

Being Friends with Yourself

We typically focus a lot on building good relationships with others. We are constantly trying to be ‘good enough’ so we can maintain our relationships with them.  However we tend to forget that one of the most important relationships is the one we have with ourselves, and the first step to this relationship is becoming friends with yourself.   Many times, we are around people who consistently point out our flaws and make us feel like we’re not good enough. While others’ opinions may not always be in our hands, it is important to remember that what we do control how we view ourselves. That is why it is important for us to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves.  You can only cultivate this good, healthy  relationship with yourself if you try becoming friends with yourself.   This brings us to the question,  “What is your relationship with yourself? — Is it one of anxiety, doubt, criticism, OR is it one of love and friendliness?   Puzzled?  That’s alright! Questioning your Relationship With Yourself Most of the time, we are not aware of what kind of relationship we have with ourselves, and that may be because we have never looked at ourselves from a newer perspective.  We can easily change that by asking ourselves one simple question– “Are you a good friend to yourself?” Now to answer this question, you need to take a moment to recall a mistake you made in the past, whatever first comes to your mind, maybe something that makes you cringe at yourself. Think back to what was happening within your mind when you made that mistake and what you were telling yourself.  You might notice that you were saying things like “I am not good enough”, “How could I make a mistake?”, “What will people think about me?” and much more. Now ask yourself, would you have the same reaction if your friend made the same mistake? Probably not. There is a high chance that you would feel much more compassion for them.  You wouldn’t be so quick to  judge them or belittle them, instead  you would help them cope with their feelings by giving them space and comfort. The negative talk that you implemented on yourself would probably never come up for your friends.Now, imagine what would happen if you were able to give yourself the same level of understanding and support!   It is true that many of us do not have a very friendly relationship with ourselves to begin with. However, being friends with yourself is an important part of your life and a positive outlook can be cultivated through time and effort. Becoming friends with yourself will pay off as you will gain the most reliable, lifelong friend within yourself. Begin Your Practice Of Self Awareness & Well-Being With Our Free E-Book ‘First Few Steps To Mindfulness’ Click here An Activity- Becoming Friends with Yourself. Let us do an activity today to develop a friendship with ourselves. To begin with, try to experience what it would look like to change our self-talk.    Try to think of 5 things that are good about yourself and make a list of them.  It is often difficult to see the  good within us, so anything that you like about yourself, even the smallest thing, must be put down like; “I am enthusiastic.”  Try to think of abilities and strengths from your view point. You may think of examples which may or may not be visible to others. It does not matter what it is.   Step 1: Now take each of the points you have written and complete the following sentences. (For example, I appreciate myself for being enthusiastic.)  I appreciate myself for ……                       I appreciate myself for …… I appreciate myself for …… I appreciate myself for …… I appreciate myself for ……                        Step 2: Now visualize yourself sitting in a relaxed way, peacefully. Look at your imagined image for a few seconds. Then mentally say to your image each of the sentences in step 1.  Smile at your image after each sentence. Repeat each sentence as many times as you feel like saying it, or until you feel good about saying it.  After this exercise, notice how you are feeling. Were you able to wholeheartedly appreciate yourself for your gifts? Did you feel good about yourself?  Even if you did not, this is only the beginning. You are just getting started. You may not be great friends with yourself yet, but you have definitely taken a step on the path to becoming friends with yourself!   Devote 5 minutes everyday for this activity and begin your journey to being friends with yourself! Download this Activity share this blog! read similar blogs Individual Counseling Vs Couples Counseling: What Do I Choose? Counseling involves working on personal and emotional concerns with a… Read More Inner Space TeamJuly 10, 2023 How To Choose The Right Online Counselor For Your Needs Online counseling is a service that addresses mental health issues… Read More Inner Space TeamJuly 5, 2023 Online Counseling for Couples: How It Works and Why It Can Be Effective Telecounseling or Online Counseling for couples is conducted with the… Read More Inner Space TeamJune 27, 2023 Psychological Counseling – benefits, process and how it works Mental health is essential for our overall well-being, and when… Read More Inner Space TeamApril 29, 2023 Load More

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manage hypertension with mindfulness

Manage Hypertension with Mindfulness

On World Hypertension day, here is our sharing on how stress leads to hypertension and what you can do on a daily basis to directly help the body become less stressed and manage hypertension with mindfulness. We are no strangers to hearing of several young people going through heart ailments and heart attacks due to stress. One in five young adults in India has high blood pressure, according to research presented at the 70th Annual Conference of the Cardiological Society of India (CSI) in 2018. We are often asked to ‘work on our stress’ in order to reduce or manage hypertension. Only, we are not sure how to do this and that is where this article can help. Two things are needed in order to manage bodily stress successfully: An understanding of how exactly stress impacts our body Learning to help our body de-stress Let’s look at both these points one by one. Learning about the  “Window of Tolerance” given by Dan Siegel will help us understand how prolonged stress causes and sustains hypertension. Understanding The Impact Of Stress In The Body The Optimal Arousal Zone This is how the body is, in a state of ‘rest and digest’, or, when it is not in a stressed state.  When we are in the Optimal Arousal Zone We are able to carry out day to day functioning without feeling extreme stress of any kind. Changes in the mood and emotions feel normal. Challenges feel manageable. Relaxing from time to time feels easy and natural. We are able to focus and be grounded. We are able to make decisions with proper reasoning. Practice Mindfulness Through Our Free Mindfulness Videos Click Here The Hyperarousal Zone: Leading To Hypertension Our busy lifestyle and the increase in everyday stress easily pushes us from the Optimal Arousal Zone to the Hyperarousal Zone. The hyperarousal zone involves increased alertness, a sense of urgency, reduced blood flow to the internal organs (like the digestive and reproductive systems) and more blood flow to the limbs. Basically, this is the body preparing to deal with the immediate stress by fighting it or escaping it.  The hyperarousal state is actually designed for us and is healthy if after a short while we return to the optimal zone. However, very often, many of us remain stuck in the hyperarousal zone for long periods of time. As a result, our body gets the message that functioning in the hyperarousal zone is a normal way to be. In our daily life, this can manifest as- Feeling alert and on guard Increase in palpitations and hyperactivity High blood pressure Low tolerance for changes Increase in aggression and reactivity Hypertension even for small triggers  Racing thoughts  Digestive difficulties An inability to rest and relax even when there is no immediate stressor.  The Hypoarousal Zone Sometimes, persistent stress can send the physiology into a state that’s the polar opposite of what we saw above. Contrary to the hyperarousal state, the hypoarousal state is a state of shut down and numbness. Functioning in hypoarousal zone can look like- Lack of energy Feeling of constant exhaustion Numbness Feeling depressed Low motivation Feeling frozen, dull or leaden Manage Hypertension With Mindfulness: Learning To Return To The Optimal Arousal Zone Mindfulness and grounding practices can greatly help in managing symptoms of stress.  While it’s easy for the mind and body to slip into stress mode, you can intervene by recognizing that the body has now become stressed and helping it return to baseline.  Here is a starting point to return to baseline when your mind and body are worked up, or, in the hyperarousal zone. Learn More: Online Meditation Course: 8 Weeks Mindfulness Meditation Recognize Consciously recognize when you are functioning in the hyperarousal zone. When you catch the body in the moment, you have the opportunity to intervene and change this cycle. Otherwise, it is simply continuing on autopilot, going on and on. Common cues of the hyperarousal state are – Stiffness in the head/neck Jaws are clenched Breath is shallow/constricted. Taking a deep breath feels like you’re having to push the air in. Stomach is sucked in and tight. Body feels uptight rather than relaxed Mind is racing Body and mind feel restless. Pause Take a pause for a few minutes when you recognize this. Pause whatever you are doing so that you can pay attention to yourself, for a bit. Regulate There are several ways to regulate the body and come back to a state of rest. Conscious Relaxation – check in with the body. Just hang in with the body, noticing it, for a few moments. You will recognize what areas are holding tension. As you breathe out, let any tense muscles relax. The same areas described under “a. Recognize” are the parts you might want to open up and relax. Grounding – Grounding is a practice that helps us feel centered and calm. Once you’ve checked in with the body and let it relax, spend some time noticing the connection between the seat of the body and the chair or ground. Notice the touch of the feet on the floor. Noticing this immediately grounds and settles the body. Don’t struggle hard to focus. Just notice whatever naturally comes into your awareness as you breathe. Here is a grounding practice guided by Sadia Saeed  to help you calm down and feel more centered. (This video is from a series of videos to help with Trauma and Overwhelm. However, the grounding practice is just as helpful for all stressed states. Skip to 4.17 to go directly to the practice)- Grounding & Creating Support – Exercise 1/5 | Trauma & Emotional Overwhelm Series- By Sadia Saeed – YouTube Mindful breathing – Mindful breathing simply means breathing with awareness. Taking even a few breaths while being fully aware of the inhalations and exhalations can greatly help to calm the body. In addition,  breathing into the diaphragm helps to open and destress the body further. Here is a link to

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women

Women’s Day: The Quiet Difficulties That Men and Women Go Through

Come March 8th and the focus and attention is on women. They’ve had their share of struggles in the past to get an equal footing with men. The issues they tackled were umpteen. The battle continues and the pressure still looms. Women have and continue to take things in their stride and move through life.   Striving for equality through feminism Over the years, the struggle for equal rights gave a voice to feminist ideals. The world got a glimpse of how patriarchal the society was. It was convenient to assume that women were the weaker gender. Treating them as second-class citizens was acceptable. Thanks to the effort and perseverance of women fighting for their rights, this narrative has changed. In the last few decades, however, there has been a disconnect between the real meaning of feminism and what it has generally come to mean. When a woman claims to be a feminist, it’s assumed that she’s a man-hater. The concept of feminism is misconstrued with the idea of women feeling repulsed with men. Unfortunately, this is not what fighting for equal rights is about. It is about coming together as a society and treating each other with respect. It’s about having equal opportunities and rights irrespective of a persons’ gender, race, sexuality, ethnicity, age, religion, ability/disability, and class.   In the light of equality, it is important to acknowledge that there are areas where men are feeling undermined too. Understanding Both Narratives There’s no denying that the cultural, economic, and social oppression that women went through wasn’t easy. However, things have changed, and being a man in today’s world isn’t easy either. Due to the same gender roles that hurt women, men too are hurt. Patriarchy has left a residue that is affecting both women and men today. This women’s day therefore we are attempting to hold space for the narratives of both genders. By no means we claim to have covered all aspects, after all the narratives are very nuanced. Nevertheless, as psychologists we feel compelled to give voice to our experiences and share them with you. The Difficulties that Men Face: This is of course skewed to the men we know in our social and therapy networks and is therefore a more urban perspective. Here are a few points that we have repeatedly observed as therapists: Frustration due to Pent up Emotion: Men are unable to show emotion freely. It is not considered manly to do so. They are often seen as emotionally unavailable as a result. However, men who do show emotion run the risk of appearing too sensitive and sentimental. Few men have a space for any kind of emotional sharing with friends or family. The frustration due to pent up emotion in men is very high as a result. This is serious and is responsible for a great deal of addiction and even the higher percentage of suicides in men.  Difficulty in Taking Help: We find men consistently refusing to take help of mental health professionals even when they are really struggling. They have internalized the idea that getting others to help them with their problems is not being ‘man enough’. They need to appear tough and strong and believe they should be able to deal with their own problems. Also, as a result many men do not even admit there is a problem. Financial Pressure: Men find it difficult to be dependent financially without it hurting their self-image. They often feel uncertain about taking up professions they may like but which may not pay adequately. Also, some men find it difficult if they are not the providers in their family, if their partners are doing better. This is not so much because of jealousy but because they have internalized the gender role of providing and feel like a failure if they are unable. Fear of Being Misunderstood: With laws favouring women, we often find men worried that they might act unintentionally in ways that will be perceived as sexual or violent transgressions. Also, they are concerned that certain gestures like holding the door or insisting on paying for a meal will be considered condescending whereas not doing so or asking a woman date/friend to go dutch will be seen as stingy or rude. The Difficulties that Women Face: From inheritance to domestic violence, abortions, orgasms, rape, financial disparity, and glass ceiling, women have seen it all. Today, the challenges are not the same, but the shadows of the pain continue. The changing world of course has added new dimensions of difficulties too. Here are some common difficulties that confront women today: Pressure to Do It All: The old gender roles haven’t quite faded and new ones are here. The expectation is to ‘keep it together’ no matter what’s happening inside. They juggle between home, kids, work, and listen to a barrage of insinuating statements that imply ‘it’s your duty’.  They feel tremendously guilty if they miss out an event at the child’s school, the house isn’t clean, the laundry isn’t done or house-help isn’t managed. This is no easy feat and perpetual exhaustion is common for most women. Pressure to Conform to Marriage and Children Norms: We are increasingly seeing women who are single or who choose not to have children. However, a simple choice like this is not an easy one. There is a constant pressure to have a family as ‘normal’ women should have and a perception that there is something not okay or missing in your life if you don’t choose the family life. Salary Differences: Women often feel overworked, thanks to their multiple roles and both undervalued and underpaid. Pressure to Look Good: Despite the exhaustion, women feel inadequate when they don’t look their best. The pressure to look good and stay fit has never been higher. Thanks to social media and gazillions of good-looking, fit images of women, the sense of inadequacy despite accomplishing a lot is huge. There is always a sense of falling short somewhere. Struggles in Leadership

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