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The Great Resignation: many rationales to attrition

Leave a Comment / Stress at Work / Inner Space Team / April 28, 2022 / depressed, managing anxiety, stress management, work stress

The Great Resignation, also known as the Great Reshuffle and the Big Quit refers to an economic situation where employees voluntarily quit their job en masse last year in the United States. This term was coined by Anthony C Klotz, a Texan professor of Business Administration who prophesied a mass work exodus in May 2021. Let’s delve in and understand what lead to it and what the way forward might be, through a psychologist’s lens. How It All Began! Covid-19 saw a drastic change in the job situation. Companies had no choice but to adopt the policy of Work From Home (WFH). Though WFH had its advantages, organizations and employees had to go through a series of significant challenges. Challenges of WFH Some problems that cropped up were: Inability to strike a balance between personal and work life. Issues with interactions and communication between managers, colleagues, and senior management. Poor Internet connectivity and difficulty in managing time-zones and changes in work culture. Unwanted distractions and technical glitches when it came to training employees, and hosting office events virtually. No social life and inadvertently neglecting health one’s overall health. Working from home meant that each individual did not only have to focus on their work during the day but also had to take care of household chores. Weak work ethics, blurred boundaries in terms of working hours, and erratic timings kept adding to a lot of stress. This ultimately resulted in physical and emotional burnout. Causes for the Great Resignation As time went by, the pandemic changed a lot of people’s mindsets. Employees were tired. Many were grieving different kinds of losses along with covid-related stress. Individuals who were looking for a renewed sense of work had their reasons to change their career trajectory. For instance, people who were underpaid left for better remuneration. Some stuck around because that particular job paid bills and fed mouths. Others who were struggling with bad management and lack of respect in the workplace didn’t see a point in sticking around. Few were waiting for the pandemic to come to an end only to realize that they couldn’t wait anymore and finally quit. What can organizations do to deal with a situation like the Great Resignation? Many organizations are wanting to get back on their feet. However, it’s not easy being in this situation. Employers need to accept that the lives of employees have changed drastically. These changes come with new priorities, needs, and expectations. If you are an entrepreneur or leader, acceptance that you’re in the midst of a collectively challenging phase is crucial. Being realistic about what you can and cannot control helps you have clarity and make better decisions. Moreover, it is beneficial for your own mental health! So, know that you are doing what is possible and that this too shall pass. With this being said, certain things can be done to help employees and the employer-employee relationship. Take Employee Mental Health into consideration: Employee well-being takes precedence over everything at the moment. Therefore, including mental health as an important aspect in the organizational culture seems to be a crucial step in the right direction. Plan Initiatives for emotional concerns: Introducing activities centered around mental health like mindfulness, yoga, and workshops on specific topics can help in managing anxiety, PTSD, and other emotional upheavals. Create an empathetic space: As employers, practicing self-compassion while simultaneously extending the same compassion to staff and subordinates can do wonders to their physical and emotional well-being. Keep in touch: Planning a weekly meeting to discuss the highs and lows is a good way to give the management insight into the ‘real condition’ of employees and their concerns. Reassess work dynamics: Keeping employee struggles in mind, dedicate space to contemplate and reassess the overall work dynamics. Even subtle shifts can help a lot in improving the happiness and satisfaction of those working with you. Last but not least – the great resignation is real. Some companies are still grappling with it. So remember that your only job is to ‘Try’. Integrate Mindfulness Concepts & Practices Into your Life Browse Our Various Resources and Programs dedicated to Mindfulness Click here share this blog! read similar blogs Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Meditation need… Read More Inner Space TeamFebruary 11, 2022 Mindfulness at Work Mindfulness Training for Corporates Make mindfulness a part of your… Read More Sadia SaeedAugust 20, 2015 2 WAYS OF HANDLING A HEAVY WORKLOAD: WHAT CAN YOU DO? Dread getting up in the morning to go to work?… Read More Sadia SaeedOctober 22, 2012 FEELING OVERWORKED – WHAT YOU CAN DO Your alarm goes “trrrrrrrrrring” in the morning and your eyes… Read More Inner Space TeamAugust 20, 2011

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coronavirus, isolation, quarantine, anxiety, loneliness, therapy

Dealing with Anxiety in the times of the Coronavirus

2 Comments / Stress Management / Inner Space Team / April 6, 2020 / covid 19, health and wellness, managing anxiety, mind and body, pandemic, stress management

Historically, a pandemic seems to have occurred once in a 100 years, roughly. That means, for most of us alive today, this is a completely new experience! We have had little experience with a situation like this. What does this bring about? Uncertainty, change leading to more change, unexpected change bringing about anxiety – anxiety about getting infected, family getting infected, anxiety about pay cuts, lost jobs, about having to stay home. Sometimes, the lack of activity and distraction can even bring up stored emotions or past hurt. Dealing with this can be difficult. We’ve tried to put down some ideas about how one can deal with this: Working through Anxiety during a Pandemic – What it could mean for you Recognize and Reconcile: ‘What you resist, persists’ In a situation like this, the mind and the whole psyche wants to push to feel in control and on top of the situation. Expecting yourself to feel in control will only worsen your irritability and helplessness. The first step to any kind of mental peace always starts with recognition and reconciliation. Recognize deeply that you needn’t fight your feelings. While you can take all the precaution needed, recognize that it is understandable to feel anxious, worried, bored, restless and uncomfortable. This situation is uncomfortable for every single one of us. Taking some comfort in the fact that your feelings are valid and understandable can do a lot to ease your emotional burden. Observe and Breathe: The mind is like Velcro. It pulls attention to its thoughts and what’s more, it tries to beat one thought with another. Very often, you will see that one thought leads to another and before you know it, you’ve spun a web of stories about the situation, how bad it is, what you could have done to prevent it, how so and so is responsible and so on. Most of us don’t recognize that we have an option to ‘watch’, or ‘notice’ the mind, without necessarily engaging too much with it. The mind has its own nature and its own wiring. No matter how much you know consciously that worrying is not of much use, it continues to have thoughts and thought streams of worry. What you can do is, instead of trying to beat one thought with another, just observe that thoughts of worry have come up, that it is natural for this to happen, and gently come back to the present moment. You can return to your breath or to any aspect of the present moment. Learning to gently let go of chatter and rest in the moment is immensely valuable in a situation like this. Accept: Seeing this word might trigger irritation at the beginning and that is understandable! Contrary to this initial reaction, accepting the moment does more for us than we typically imagine. We think of acceptance as passive surrender, but that’s not the case. Acceptance is an active recognition that – this is what it is. This situation is what it is. Pushing and pulling, fighting your feelings is only going to worsen it. Acceptance allows you to work with what is, than what is not. It brings down stress and hypervigilance and clears your mind to work and support yourself best in this situation. As I often tell my clients when they are in a similar space – ‘half your energy is getting spent on resisting the situation mentally.’ Once you allow yourself to accept the situation, you start generating energy to truly support yourself through it. It gets easier here onwards – these three steps are difficult, and most of you who have already been through this would agree that to reach acceptance is the hard bit, once you’re through with that, the rest becomes easier! Access the Calmer Side of the Brain: The limbic system is the part of the nervous system that is responsible for the fight or flight response, and for anxiety. It’s job is to alert you so that you can protect yourself. However, because as human beings we have the function of thinking, we get stuck in the anxious mode. Letting go of thoughts for a while and consciously calming down gives you access to the calmer side of the brain that has less extreme, more realistic ideas about the situation. Look for the Hidden Treasures: Every situation has something to offer. Even seemingly dull, boring situations like these have something to offer – maybe it is opportunity to deeply introspect, maybe it is opportunity to reflect and develop some part of yourself that you haven’t been able to, maybe its just about developing some comfort with doing less and staying with yourself; or about doing your workout through household chores! Whether you know it or not, you are constantly learning and growing through situations. Once you see this, you will be in a more joyful and less negative space. Connect, connect! You must have seen enough information on social media about how social distancing does not have to mean disconnecting. In fact, it could actually mean connecting in a whole different way! Just getting time and space to have deep conversation, to really observe and get to know your family or roommates better, notice and savor the little things and we don’t get the space to savor otherwise! Rest and Rejuvenate: More space and less stimulation have been seen as the essentials of mental health. They have also been seen as the bedrock of creativity. Most of us live our lives being bombarded by stimulation and information. We constantly do and rarely get space to just be. While it is understandable that this is a bit of a prolonged break, it still is a break unlike one you may not have had in a long time. Use it to rejuvenate. Explore the things you were never able to do while you were constantly outside. Once you get comfortable with doing less and with being with yourself, your need to constantly distract

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Are You Overprotecting Your Child?

Leave a Comment / Parenting / Inner Space Team / January 18, 2018 / anxiety in children, for children, managing anxiety, managing emotions, parent child relationship, parenting

The parent of today is quite different from the parent of 20 years ago. If you are today’s parent, you read up regularly, follow various parenting blogs and try to stay aware about the resources needed to raise a child effectively. You try your best to meet all your child’s needs be it at a physical, mental or social level. Many of you may have also decided on the kind of parent you would like to be. This could be based on the kind of parenting you have received as a child. “I’ll give everything I have not received to my child”, “I’ll be the best parent and will ensure that my child is always happy, protected and successful” are commonly expressed thoughts. Hence, you go through the first few years of parenting while painstakingly fulfilling every need of your child. When your child is bored, the next toy or game is readily furnished. When she is about to cry, her favorite youtube video is ready. If she refuses food, varieties of alternatives are present. If she is confused while reciting the alphabet, ready recitals are given. When she runs into a fight with another child, the parents are spoken to. Each problem is solved, each barrier, removed. Is this kind of Parenting truly Problem Free? Considering the degree of preparation and effort involved, you might expect that this kind of parenting would be least likely to create any problems for your child in their future. However, as a common consensus among psychologists, we find that this may not always be true. As overprotected children grow and enter middle childhood and teenage, psychologists find that many of them fall into one of two symptom buckets: One bucket is Anxious and Underconfident: These children are overly worried and have low self belief. They may have difficulty in making even smaller decisions with confidence. They may have difficulty taking initiative and be overly dependent on others to fulfill their needs. The other bucket is Self-Centered and Entitled: These children grow up with a sense of entitlement. They do not like to take responsibility for their actions and are looking at others to do things for them. They come across as self centered and are unable to build meaningful relationships. Observing these behaviors in your children, you worry and you question yourself– “Where am I going wrong? I am giving my child everything, every single time!” Not finding a satisfactory answer to this, you continue the same pattern of giving them whatever they need. This makes the problematic behavior even more pronounced. Looking into your pattern of overprotecting will give you an understanding of where the problem lies. Overprotecting Your Child: When You ‘Give It All’ When you take care of “everything”, you are unknowingly overprotecting your child. Every decision from the smallest, like what to wear, to the bigger ones like future plans, are highly influenced, or perhaps even taken by you. If your child ends up facing a problem, you have ready solutions that you want the child to implement. Sometimes, you may even implement it for him or her. You shower your child with too much attention, too quickly, to take away his or her pain. Different people can overprotect their children in different ways. You may not be doing all the things described, but do you have the orientation of quickly solving all your child’s problems? Do you find it hard to tolerate your child’s discomfort? If you do, you are probably overprotecting your child. What happens as a consequence is that the child rarely has opportunity to face a crisis or a challenge and use his or her own devices to navigate through it. For example, the child has not learnt to stay with his boredom for a few minutes and figure a way out. He has only watched his boredom being taken away. He grows up to be impatient, easily frustrated and impulsive, not having the resources to deal with boredom. Similarly, if the child handles a fight wrong, and then figures how to handle it right, she has learnt how to manage. On the other hand, if you have handled it for her, she has only watched it, not learnt it. It is thus not surprising that these children grow up to have little belief in their abilities to manage their environment. They are unable to try, because they have had little opportunity to try and fail. They see failure as meaning that they are not good enough, rather than as a part of the process of figuring something out. If you do identify with these patterns, it’s not too late. Effective parenting, simply put, is to equip children with the necessary tools to become healthy, emotionally stable, competent and independent adults who are ready for bigger challenges in life. A parent is a guiding light under which a child begins to design his future. How do I Begin Changing this Pattern? Allow: Keep in mind that it is a good practice to allow your child to use his or her own resources before you step in. You can help your child when they are stuck. However, once they get unstuck, let them take the lead. Ask: Ask them what they feel and how they would like to deal with the situation. Give them the inputs they need to decide well; but let them take the lead. This way, the child has support and guidance while they are also actively involved, thinking, figuring it out and growing, through each situation. Pause: See how you uneasy you feel when your child is navigating through some situation. Take a few deep breaths and see if you can stay with the discomfort instead of acting out of it. Staying with difficult emotions increases our capacity to tolerate and manage it. It also reduces the urge to act impulsively and gives you space to pause and respond in a more healthy manner. This post has been contributed by Gitali Chatterji. Gitali is

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HOW TO DEAL WITH A PHOBIA?

Leave a Comment / Anxiety / Inner Space Team / July 8, 2017 / fears and phobias, managing anxiety, stress management, treatment for anxiety

Our last post talked about the difference between fear and a phobia, and what it feels like to have a phobia. Once one knows the implications of living with a phobia, it becomes easier to empathise with those dealing with one. As a next step, one might ask – How can I deal with my phobia? Since phobias vary in intensity, there are different means by which one may effectively deal with them. Self-help strategies can be effective in overcoming low-intensity phobias. Low intensity phobias are those that do not get in the way of your daily life, such as a fear of bats (odds of encountering the flying mammals are rather low unless you intend to star in the next Man Vs. Wild series!). However, if you suffer a fear of crowded places, or a fear of elevators, living in the city would be very difficult. High intensity phobias might need professional help, in addition to self help. We discuss some ways in which you can deal with a phobia below: How to Deal with a Phobia? Accept the Phobia and know that it is not your fault: It becomes easy to criticise yourself for being fearful, or weak. However, that makes things even harder, since resisting a feeling is like not looking at what exists. Gently accept whatever you feel, while remaining compassionate to yourself. A phobia usually means that there are underlying fears or anxieties which need to be gently addressed. These could range from childhood experiences, long standing feelings, a fear of being oneself, low self-confidence etc. In order to address these, it is necessary that there is a gentle acceptance of what you feel. List your Goals and Motivations: Listing your goal, for example, “I want to overcome my fear of spiders”, often helps; once you are compassionate to yourself. Writing down the reasons you want to overcome your fear, for example, “I want my children to know I’m strong enough to do this”, helps you remain motivated towards trying to overcome your fear. Engage in Self Exposure: Work on slowly bringing yourself to face the object of your phobia. In the case of arachnophobia, that would mean beginning by looking at pictures of spiders, and later increasing proximity with real spiders, until a certain comfort level is achieved. Again, this must be done repeatedly and regularly, without self-indulgent cheating! Keep an exposure homework diary, where you can note down every small step of your progress. You must bear in mind, however, that self-exposure would only be advisable for low-intensity phobias that would not much hamper everyday functioning. Also, remember not to overexpose. Keep exposure times brief and extend effort just a little bit more than what you usually do. For example, if you cannot tolerate looking at a spider, see if you can look at a spider’s picture from the room’s entrance, even if it is just for a few seconds. Be careful not to overdo, and to gradually increase exposure as you feel settled and ready. Learn Relaxation Techniques: Learning and using practices such as such as mindful meditation, rhythmic exercise and yoga can help effectively reduce distress stemming from a phobia. Even simple breathing exercises or counting from one to ten in your head when overwhelmed with panic can help. These should be practised regularly when in a relaxed state of mind so that you become accustomed to calming down quickly when anxious. Learning relaxation also helps in self-exposure, since you can enter exposure in a relaxed state – for example, see the spider’s picture when you feel relaxed and ready. You can also continue to practice the relaxation response through the exposure, for example, continue to stay with the breath while you watch the spider. Pause when Negative Thoughts occur: What often gets in the way of managing a phobia is a negative chain of thoughts that makes you underestimate your ability to cope with a feared object or situation. For example, sometimes, dramatic, or catastrophic thoughts occur, “That man in the elevator sneezed on me, I’m sure to fall sick!”, “I’m sure to forget my speech and look like a total clown!” Pause when such thoughts occur. Gently remember that these thoughts are occurring more because of the overall state of mind. You can practice the relaxation response while reminding yourself about how these are simply anxious thoughts that are exaggerated. Moreover, the probability of them ringing true is low. Just like super happy thoughts – ‘My life is great! Everything will be wonderful now on!’ are not realistic, super worrisome thoughts too, don’t paint a true picture of reality. Once you pause, let more realistic versions of reality arise, such as, ‘That guy sneezed on me, but it is not necessary that I should fall sick.’ ‘ I might forget a few lines, but if I allow myself a few seconds it might come back.’ Moreover, practice the relaxation response and ask yourself if contracting the common cold or forgetting a few lines is worth all the anxiety you go through. Congratulate yourself on facing your fears: Positive self-reinforcement is an important part of achieving your goals. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. Small steps can be very encouraging and make way for relief and freedom, mentally and physically. Go ahead and give yourself a pat on the back for swatting that spider on your window-sill all by yourself! If you think that it could be hard to cope with the phobia by yourself, you can always seek help from a mental health professional. It is also not advisable to deal with high intensity phobias completely by yourself. Help is more accessible with therapists, psychiatrists, support groups etc being around. Do reach out, since some support can be very helpful in encouraging whatever effort you are already putting in. Phobias can definitely be worked with. Talk to your near ones, take support and you’ll do much better 🙂 Post Contributed By: Suneha Sethi and Malini Krishnan Suneha is a student of psychology and interned with us in

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On “Phobia”: What It Really Is

Leave a Comment / Anxiety / Inner Space Team / May 11, 2017 / fears and phobias, managing anxiety, stress management, symptoms of anxiety

Most of us use the ‘word’ phobia rather casually. We often hear such exclamations as, “I really hate Maths… I think I have a phobia of numbers!” or “I don’t socialize much- It’s like I have social phobia!” But what really is a phobia, and how is it different from the more generic, everyday fear we experience? Psychologists would describe a phobia as a type of anxiety disorder where one has an irrational and excessive fear of an object or situation. Someone with a phobia will experience distress so intense, that they will go to any lengths to avoid the source of the fear. On the other hand, fear, in the generic sense of the the word, is a survival mechanism hardwired into our brains, that helps us react to danger and protect ourselves from harm. Unlike phobias, fear is a normal part of our daily lives and does not usually debilitate an individual. Phobias may be specific, that is, involving particular objects, like spiders, dogs or needles, or they may be linked to certain events or circumstances, such as social situations. Some common phobias (with their fancy names) include: Social phobia – fear of being in places with a lot of people Agoraphobia – fear of being somewhere with no support, away from home, open spaces Claustrophobia – fear of being in constricted, confined spaces Aerophobia – fear of flying Arachnophobia – fear of spiders Living with a phobia can be an extremely challenging task. When faced with the object of their phobia, a person may experience tremendous feelings of dread, sweating, shortness of breath, trembling and nausea. Some may even experience a fear of dying, or a sense of unreality. Further, one may end up missing out on opportunities in life, simply to avoid the unpleasantness of anxiety. What Happens To Someone With A Phobia? There are two ways in which a person with a phobia may react to the source of their fear. This also helps differentiate a phobia from a generic, less severe fear. Experience Severe and Incapacitating Distress and Anxiety Take glossophobia, for example. Glossophobia is the extreme fear of public speaking, or of speaking in general. This extends beyond the classroom fear that had us all praying that the teacher wouldn’t pick on us to answer that trigonometry problem. A person with glossophobia would panic at the mere thought of communication with even a small group of people. Granted, a person with “normal” stage fright would also experience some anxiety before making a boardroom presentation, for example, but they would be able to deliver despite this fear. In contrast, one with glossophobia could experience symptoms like hyperventilation, trembling, sweating, and stammering. Needless to say, such an emotional state would not allow for a very effective conference-room presentation, and could be extremely embarrassing for the individual dealing with the phobia. Engage in Avoidant Behaviours, and Evade the Feared Object Completely: If you have glossophobia, you might entirely refrain from voicing your groundbreaking new sales idea during the board meeting, in order to avoid the crushing anxiety of speaking up in a group. You may also completely avoid situations that focus group attention on you. Imagine the stress of having to plan your daily routine around trying to avoid speaking up in public. So much as buying that local train ticket to office and back becomes a terrifying task. Even if a feared object does not appear in your life, you might spend a significant amount of time worrying about facing it. How unpleasant it must be to go through a fearful mental countdown, for a whole month, unto the day your train pass expires, just because you dread that ticket window so much. What often makes dealing with a phobia still more challenging, is a misplaced attitude towards it. It is hardly comforting to be told, “Get over it, dude, it’s just a bit of stage fright” or “Everyone feels nervous, it’s normal”. This would only make someone dealing with a phobia embarrassed and hesitant to address the issue. So, How Do You Deal With A Phobia? “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” -Nathaniel Branden In order to get over a phobia, it is important to first acknowledge and accept your fears. No matter how out-of-control your fears seem, know that it is well within your reach to control, if not completely overcome your phobia, with the help of adequate support and curative measures. Stay tuned for our next post that will talk about managing and overcoming a phobia. Do let us know what you think about fears and phobias, what your experiences have been like here Are your anxieties holding you back? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and overcome your anxiety and lead a happy, stress-free life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment Frequently Asked Questions Do I have to live with phobia all my life? Phobias can manifest differently in different people. Some people may notice their symptoms have gone completely, while some may continue to experience the symptoms in varying intensity. However, with early intervention and having healthy coping skills can help ease out the intensity of the fear. Can I prevent Phobias? Phobias cannot be prevented. But, it can be managed with early intervention, counseling, lifestyle changes, and having healthy coping skills in place. Do I have to consume medications if I have Phobias? While medications do help in managing certain symptoms of the phobias, many people do not require them. They can manage their symptoms without medication by going for therapy, using self-help and stress management strategies, and having a healthy lifestyle. About the Author This article was written by Suneha Sethi, Content Developer Intern at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about phobias and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform

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Cognitive Distortions: Reeling You In

2 Comments / Stress Management / Inner Space Team / March 31, 2017 / managing anxiety, managing depression, managing emotions, negative thoughts, overthinking

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”“The fault dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”William Shakespeare We have always been told that situations don’t define us, but what matters is our attitude towards the situation. So then, what is the difference between someone who is able to take a negative event in his/her stride and someone who gets dragged down even by supposedly minor events? You’ll say “Ah! This one is easy! It depends on what we think!” Well, you are partially correct! The answer to this lies in not just what we think but how we think. In our Cognitive Distortions. What Are Cognitive Distortions? Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts or beliefs that tend to distort our view of ourselves, the world around us and the future, usually in a negative way. Not all of us have the same distortions and not all of us have the same number of them. We also may use them selectively and with varying frequencies in different areas of our life. So then, is it really a thought problem or an attitude problem? Are people really choosing to think in this negative way? How about we look at this a little differently today? How about instead of looking at these distortions as evil and devilish, we look at them as our old- but- now- estranged- friends? Seems hard? Imagine a time when there was a perceived threat to you, real or imagined. That threat brought about some very strong feelings with it. There must have been sadness, pain, guilt, anger and shame that threatened to overwhelm your system. To save yourself from this, thought took over. A rational thinking pattern was put in place as a protective force, to save you from uncertain and possibly uncontrollable emotions. Thought then, became your friend. Slowly though, what happened was that this thought pattern and/or a series of others emerged and started being used very frequently, and in nearly each situation. So frequently, that their protective function was left behind and the thoughts became increasingly irrational and dominant. They became well integrated and enmeshed in your thinking patterns. They became distortions, maladaptive and overwhelming in their own right! Are they uncommon, then? No. In fact, cognitive distortions are very common and occur almost automatically – they don’t give us a choice! Our first response to an event or a situation becomes that! Then why can’t we identify them? That is because we don’t really know how to recognize them and how to look for them. These distortions then lead to feelings of sadness, guilt and shame or other so- called “negative” and not-fun emotions and tend to influence how we behave. Begin Your Practice of Self Awareness and Well-Being With Our Free E-book, ‘First Few Steps To Mindfulness’ Get Your Copy Knowing Myself Better : Identifying My Cognitive Distortions Take a look at the following descriptions and try identifying your cognitive distortions. Also, try imagining how you would end up feeling and behaving as a result of those. Remember, identification is just the first step! All or None or Dichotomous Thinking An individual with this thinking pattern usually looks at people/events/situations in absolute factors of either/or. So, something is rather good or bad, here or there, black or white. There is no middle ground. For example: “I failed in one paper. I am a total loser with nothing good in me.” “He did not talk to me today. I’m sure he is a terrible person” “Should” statements An individual with this thinking pattern has a majority of thoughts involving “should”, “must” or “ought to”. For example “She should’ve called me first” “I must lose weight to look more attractive” Catastrophizing An individual with this thinking pattern tends to assume the worst and sees anything negative as the worst, most terrible thing ever. For example:- “I missed one meeting, now they are going to fire me and I will never find another job” “This fight with my partner was terrible. I am sure we will break up and I will be alone, forever.” Magnifying An individual with this thinking pattern tends to blow things out of proportion and exaggerate negative events. This is similar to the saying ‘making a mountain out of a molehill.’ For example: “I made a spelling error on my test today. I am sure the teacher will fail me because of it.” “She did not text me today morning. I am sure she is angry and upset with me”. Minimizing An individual with this thinking pattern tends to minimize or give very little importance to positive events. For example: “Yes, I got a raise but it is not that big a deal and I’m still not good at my job.” “She complimented me today but I don’t think I am looking so good. Others look far better than I do.” Fortune Telling An individual with this thinking pattern tends to act like a fortune teller with a crystal ball, predicting the future, usually in a negative way. This individual arbitrarily predicts that things will turn out poorly. For example “I just know that all the tickets will get sold out even before we reach” “I just know that the team will lose tomorrow and our efforts will be wasted”. Emotional Reasoning An individual with this thinking pattern tends to believe that what he feels about the event or situation is the reality. So emotions about something are believed to be interpretation of the reality of the event. For example: “I’m feeling scared. This means there must be something dangerous here”. “I am feeling anxious about the exam. This means I am definitely going to fail.” Perfectionism An individual with this thinking pattern tends to strive for perfection in everything and in all areas of his life. For example: “My work assignment must be perfect. I cannot tolerate any mistakes”. “I have to try to be the perfect partner. I cannot

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What can you do if your child is afraid of monsters?

What to Do If Your Child is Afraid of Monsters?

Leave a Comment / Parenting / Inner Space Team / February 22, 2017 / anxiety in children, behavioral problems in children, fear and phobias, for children, managing anxiety, managing emotions, parenting

What to Do If Your Child is Afraid of Monsters? “What if My 3 year old tells me he saw a ghost or monster? How should I respond? Should I ask him more about what he saw? Or should I divert his attention?” When your child is afraid of monsters, sometimes, you are not sure what the best response would be. You might wonder whether asking the child more would make him/her recollect what he saw and feel scared. On the other hand, will it help him talk it out and feel better? Well, as therapists, we would vouch for letting him express himself. The reasons for this are many:- Security: When your child is afraid of monsters, he feels better when he tells you about it. He knows that mom and dad know about this, and that they will protect him if needed. An entry point to resolving his fears: In order to help him with his fears, you have to first get to know them. When you listen to your child, you are likely to understand more about what is bothering him, and are in a better position to help him. Suppression is a silent pain you would rather avoid: Sometimes, you could momentarily distract the child, but he/she remains haunted by the memory of the monster in moments where he is alone. To add to that, he also knows that he cannot talk to you about it, because you do not approve of his being afraid of mere imagination; or, he knows that you will encourage him to pay attention elsewhere. He might try to do this himself. If he succeeds, he will probably cope in that way. However, if he fails, he is likely to move around with an unspoken fear that raises its head every now and then, and that is a painful feeling to have. It only makes him feel more afraid because he has to deal with this scary phenomenon all alone. You know you will not tease your child about it:– Your child’s friends are his age. They might pull his leg about being afraid of monsters. Sensitive children feel worse if this happens to them. On the other hand, if he speaks with you first about it, he gets a mature, caring response from an adult. This helps him feel reassured. Your reality is different than that of your child’s: Your idea of a monster is that of an imaginary thing, hardly scary, maybe even laughable. But your child does not see monsters or ghosts in the same faraway manner. For him/her, they are scary. Your child is probably worried about the possibility of them being real, and about how powerful they are. Because they are genuinely scared, they wish to talk it out. However, what if my child is repeatedly expressing a fear of monsters? Should I not try and divert his attention? If your child is very afraid of monsters, or speaks about it often, try and gently work on the fear. Speak to him about how even if monsters are powerful, they cannot necessarily out do humans. Talk to them about how ghosts are made to look scary on TV, because otherwise nobody would go watch them! Talk about your own fears as a child, and how you managed. This is likely to slowly lessen his/her fears. In sum, listening to your child and keeping in mind that their fears are very real for them will help you, irrespective of how you explain to your child that monsters and ghosts are not real, and will not hurt him/her. We hope this piece has helped some of you with questions you might have had. Feel free to tell us what you think, and what more you would like us to write about. Post Contributed By: Malini Krishnan

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THE GIFT OF PSYCHOTHERAPY

2 Comments / Therapy / Inner Space Team / January 7, 2017 / anxiety in children, behavioral problems in children, fear and phobias, for children, managing anxiety, managing emotions, parenting

Why not just visit a psychotherapist when you have no problems? When you go to a psychotherapist when there is no problem, you have the space to explore and reflect on your life. The intention would be solely for optimizing your life. It’s like talking to a dietician about how to modify your diet when you don’t have cholesterol or diabetes.

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Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

Leave a Comment / Stress Management / Inner Space Team / May 13, 2016 / managing anxiety, mental health, sleep problems, stress management

May is Better Sleep Month, so let’s explore sleep, one of the elements of our lifestyle that we don’t pay conscious attention to, unlike dieting or exercising. You must know that not getting enough sleep over a long period of time could signal a deeper psychological concern and can have further implications on your mental health.

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THE TRIANGLE OF INNER CONFLICT

Leave a Comment / Anxiety / Inner Space Team / January 29, 2016 / managing anxiety, psychology, self esteem, self help

At times, we feel stuck in an endless, predictable cycle of feelings, behaviour patterns and situations. It seems as if we are continuously struggling, but still going farther away from what we truly want. In this article, our team of psychologists give their inputs on how it is likely that we might be struggling with a conflict that is more internal, than external – involving a wish, a fear and a defense.

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