Blog!
IT’S AN UNPLEASANT THOUGHT, NOT A FACT
“My life is pathetic”
“Others are so much happier than I am!”
“I will never be able to make friends”
These are thoughts aren’t they? Often, we experience distress, anxiety, discomfort and a lot of pain because of our thoughts. We have a thought or a belief about something, which causes us stress.
In the course of life, our mind is flooded with thoughts. If you take even a minute to be aware of your mind, you will know just how active your mind really is. It is constantly evaluating, judging or making sense of events around it. Such is the nature of the mind. The mind as a faculty thinks and interprets events.
However, what happens when our thoughts begin to distress us? When this mental chatter begins weighing us down? For some of you, your mind thinks certain things over and over again. Or, it thinks in a certain way over and over. It keeps going on about how lonely or unwanted you are, or about how you are uncertain if you are heading in the right direction in life. How then can you deal with it?
OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF FAILURE: “TAKE THAT LEAP”
Take a moment. Think about something you really want to do, but haven’t yet because you are afraid it might not work out:
Taking up that new project at work. Starting your own homemade cupcakes business. Shifting to a new house. Starting a fitness regime. Investing in some property. Taking a break from work to travel. Telling that someone special you love them.
Your mind is probably telling you: What if it doesn’t work out? What if it is a big mistake? What if I fail? Sometimes, when you want to take up something new, your mind will tell you that you are not ready, even if you are. Yes, taking up something new does come with changes and some amount of risk but it also comes with a gamut of exciting possibilities.
When you are scared to fail, you take a step back. You colour inside the lines. This fear limits you from attempting certain activities, taking risks and you start to undermine your potential.
DECODING THE ‘ STUBBORN CHILD ’
Most of you may have come across a child who is naughty and stubborn, who tends to be insistent on getting his way, so much that people have to give in to what he wants much of the time. Some of you may even live with one such child in your family. This article is an attempt to unravel what such a child thinks, feels and needs. There is a further article here that elaborates on how parents and caregivers can better understand and deal with these children.
Stubborn children get noticed in most places – at home for sure, also at school, at play, even in public places and restaurants at times, much to their parents’ despair. It is easy to notice them; however, is it as easy to understand them?
Stubbornness and difficult behavior have their own way of functioning. They exist in the child for a reason. Until this reason is understood, children cannot be helped completely to change these behaviors. What’s more, if these reasons are not understood and appreciated, well meaning parents and teachers can do more harm than good to the child.
I invite you here to-
Take a Peek into the Stubborn Child
CYBERBULLYING IN TEENAGERS : IS IT HAPPENING TO YOU?
R.M. is a cheerful 14 year old teenager who stays with her parents in Mumbai. She likes science and finds history very boring. She loves watching movies and spending time with her friends. She sounds just like you or someone you might know, doesn’t she? Just like you, she has a profile on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…you name it! And just like you, she can’t wait to get home from class and come online to update her status; chat with her friends or post a comment about something funny that happened at school.
Since the past week however, she has been behaving differently.
Last week, when she got home from school and signed into Facebook, a classmate had commented something in jest on her picture. It was funny at first, but then the comments got mean, and extremely hurtful. The same person from her class, then started posting mean status updates and sending her unkind messages.
She didn’t know what to do or how to make it stop. So, she hasn’t gone to school for most days of the week saying she’s feeling unwell. She’s been withdrawn and her parents can’t understand what happened. She has been avoiding messages from her friends. She feels hurt, scared and even a little angry. Wouldn’t you feel the same way?
TO THAT WHICH IS BEAUTIFUL IN YOU
You are able to live with yourself because you know you are fundamentally good!
You know that all your inadequacies and the not so good qualities exist either because they are judged that way by people around you or because you picked them up somewhere on the way because of the difficulties that life sent your way.
You are correct! The deepest core of you, of all of us, every person is beautiful.
FINDING YOUR STRENGTHS – HOW TO START?
Everyone wants to know what their strengths are – what they are good at, what situations they can pull-off well and what about them helps them cope better with life.
‘Strengths’ of any person are unique. Even if two people have the same strength, for example, good communication skills, the way each person’s communication skills show up in life would be very very different.
Sometimes, it is this unique nature of strengths that makes it difficult for you to truly identify what your strengths are. You probably think – ‘God, he’s so effective with customers’, or, ‘She’s so good with conversation!’ when you notice others.
IS IT OKAY TO SAY NO IN THE FACE OF A TEMPER TANTRUM?
This is a question I am often asked by parents in therapy.
‘How to react if the child throws a temper tantrum?’
If you are a parent, you probably have been through this dilemma and resolved it. Or maybe you are going through it at present.
Some children find it easier to adjust when things don’t go their way. They may occasionally cry or fuss a little, but they’re largely open to adjusting.
Some children find it extremely difficult to make such an adjustment. They tend to get very upset when things don’t go their way. They may cry loudly, shout and insist that their demand be met with. The more you deny them what they want, the more they cry and the temper tantrum aggravates. Ultimately, you reach a place where you don’t know how to react.
In such a scenario, what is better? To fulfill the child’s demand or say no?
FINDING THE MIDDLE ROAD TO MENTAL HEALTH
“Maybe you could try to get something done by this week”,
“Maybe you’re trying too hard, you could do with a little bit of letting go”
“There may be a lot more options you haven’t explored”
“It would help if you would stop exploring more and more options and instead focus on one”
“Maybe you could reach out to your partner more”,
“Maybe you could detach a bit from your partner and work with yourself instead!”
Yes I’m quoting myself! What in the world am I trying to do contradicting myself all over???
You’ll soon know!
PAIN IN LIFE – WHY IT IS NOT SUCH A BAD THING
Going through pain in life is inevitable.
You know this. Oh yes, you often want to believe you can escape it by being “overly” careful. But deep inside… all of us know, we will go through pain!
An imperfect life scattered with pain, physical and emotional, makes you feel like life and people are unfair. When you are in pain, your mind says, “I deserve happiness, not yet another pain!” You work hard at your happiness, at work and at home. You try your best not to hurt others and to be steadfast and responsible.
Somehow, you still encounter pain and sorrow, sometimes right after a happy event.
You feel angry and dejected. You ask life, ‘why?’
Heavy Workload? How To Rest In A Busy Day?
A heavy workload and numerous deadlines would easily be one of the most stressful things about work. We live in an environment that demands quite a bit out of us and our ability. If you enjoy working to your fullest and find meaning in the work you do, then things are working out well for you. However, if you feel like work is hitting you even before you know it, and are caught up and pressurized, be assured, there are many others in the same boat! Well, sometimes, you cannot directly change the fact that you have a whole lot to do. However, you can, with gentle effort, try and make this just a little easier on yourself. We put up a post earlier that described 3 guidelines that would help you plan and anticipate your day better, to deal with a heavy workload.
Coping With A Craving For Food Through Mindfulness
The New Year has begun! Every new year brings along with it the vibe of a fresh start and of new beginnings. Perhaps, that’s how the whole idea of new year ‘resolutions’ came in. The philosophy behind resolutions seems to be to infuse us with freshness and zeal , to make one change that will see us being happier and healthier in the next year. Some of you may have made your resolutions and are probably trying to keep up with them. Many of us, throughout the year, attempt to form new habits or to break old ones. Both forming and breaking habits involve a whole lot of psychological connotations. For now, let’s pick one habit that many of us share a love-hate relationship with – a food habit. Just about any food habit. Be it a tendency to reach for the chocolate bars as soon as you reach home or munching on fries and wafers for hours together. The importance of eating healthy and caring about food habits stares us in the face everyday, through newspapers, the internet and somewhere, even through our own bodies. What does it take to break an unhealthy food habit? To deal with a craving for food? ‘Self-control’ is what intuitively comes to mind.
PSYCHOLOGY ARTICLES FROM INNER SPACE : BEST OF 2012
Inner Space turns two today. It is a delightful feeling for the whole team here. Not just because we have done well and these two years of psychotherapeutic work as a counselling center have been extremely fruitful, but also because we have been able to do good work that we are happy about. But that is about us. Inner Space is not only about its team, it is about all of you who visited us, shared with us, read our posts or connected with us in some way-online or offline. I want to deeply thank you for this connection and for being with us in these two years.