Self Help and Improvement

Ever feel like your anxiety comes out of nowhere? You might be surprised to learn that past experiences can also play a big role in how anxious you feel today. We often think of anxiety as a reaction to current or future worries, like an upcoming exam or financial stress. But what if some of that anxiety is an echo of something difficult you went through in the past? Trauma can leave a deep mark on your mind, body, and how you respond to stress. With more research and awareness, the relationship between trauma and anxiety is becoming more apparent. In this article, we will be exploring the link between trauma and anxiety by understanding how the body and mind respond to trauma.  What Happens When You Experience Trauma? Your nervous system is like a built-in security guard, constantly on the lookout for threats. It has pre-wired pathways to warn you and trigger responses that help you survive. These responses are known as the fight-flight-freeze reaction. Fight, Flight, Freeze: Your Body’s Response to Stress Fight: Imagine this: you’re swamped at work, facing a tight deadline. Your boss approaches with even more tasks, and you feel a surge of adrenaline. Your heart races, palms get sweaty, and you might even feel a burst of determination – your body prepping for a “fight” to get everything done. Flight: Now, what if that workload becomes overwhelming? You might feel the urge to escape. Maybe you start daydreaming about a relaxing vacation or find yourself constantly checking social media– your mind seeking ways to “flee” the anxiety of a quickly approaching deadline. Freeze:  Let’s say you’re having a heated argument with your partner, and they end up saying something hurtful. Usually, you have a good comeback, or you tend to step out of the room. But this time, you are speechless, you feel stuck, and frozen. You also feel a little spaced out as you are still processing what your partner has told you. This is a freeze response. These responses are all normal ways to deal with stress. But what happens when the stress becomes overwhelming and long-lasting? That’s where trauma and anxiety come in. Trauma and Anxiety: A Deeper Connection Trauma can be anything that causes immense stress to your mind and body, like a car accident, a violent attack, or even prolonged emotional abuse. When you experience trauma, especially for a long time, it can significantly impact how you respond to stress in the future. Imagine your body’s stress response as a fire alarm system. When there’s a real fire, the alarm blares to warn you, triggering fight-flight-freeze. This is healthy – it helps you deal with the danger. However prolonged trauma can cause this system to malfunction. Even when there’s no immediate threat, the alarm (your stress response) keeps going off, leaving you feeling on edge and anxious – a constant state of trauma and anxiety. How Trauma and Anxiety Create a Vicious Cycle Trauma can also cause flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and a constant fear of something bad happening again. For instance, if you were in a car accident, you might feel anxious every time you get into a vehicle, even years later. Or, being in a long-term abusive relationship can make you afraid and anxious about finding another partner that feels safe. This fear and anxiety can become a part of your daily life, even if you don’t consciously connect it to the past trauma. You’re Not Alone: Exploring the Link Between Trauma and Anxiety You might think your anxiety is just “who you are,” but there could be more to the story. Many people struggle with anxiety without realizing it’s connected to past experiences of trauma and anxiety. A therapist can provide a safe, supportive space to explore these connections. Their professional understanding of trauma and anxiety can help you identify how your past might be affecting your present and equip you with tools to manage your anxiety and live a fulfilling life. About the Author This article was written by Parvathi Ganesan, Counselor at Inner Space. This article was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. 

Discover essential conflict resolution skills every family needs to create a peaceful, happy home. Learn to communicate better, manage disputes, and strengthen family bonds.

Do you feel like your workplace makes you feel like a pressure cooker, ready to explode at any given second? Maybe it is a co-worker who constantly interrupts you during meetings, taking away your train of thought, and leaving you fuming with anger. Or, it could be the never-ending deadlines, gradually piling up until you slam your fist on your desk in frustration. Anger issues at work aren’t just bad for your well-being, but they can also hamper your professional relationships and leave you feeling burnt out and on the verge of quitting. Before you decide to give up on work and yourself entirely, know that you’re not alone. Many individuals struggle with anger issues at work. But, there are certain techniques you can use to manage your anger and navigate these situations with more grace. By working on managing your anger, you can avoid unnecessary conflict and create a calmer and more positive work environment for yourself and those around you. Before we look into how you can address the anger, it is also important to know what your anger is trying to tell you. What Are Your Anger Issues Trying To Tell You? Before we get into the five techniques, here is something you must know about anger and emotions in general. Emotions are clues. They help us understand what is truly going on in the mind and body. Sometimes, certain emotions can get a bad reputation, especially unpleasant ones, and anger is surely one of them. But, it is important to understand that your anger is also trying to tell you something. Whenever you feel angry, it is important to know that: Anger can be a clue for you to notice deeper emotions. For example, feeling angry at your co-workers for stealing your ideas for a project can be because you felt betrayed by them. It also felt like a threat because it wasn’t fair that they did it, as they took away what’s yours. Anger can signal you to set better boundaries. For instance, maybe you feel frustrated with a colleague who constantly comes to your desk to gossip while you are trying to get work done. This frustration and anger can be a clue to set better boundaries. Instead of dwelling on why you are angry or why others behave the way they do,  maybe gradually working up the courage to set better boundaries may be more fruitful in the long run. Anger can also motivate you to change. When you are feeling angry at your boss when they critique your work, your anger could be a cue telling you to change things around and make a change. Anger can fuel the energy and determination needed to address a problem or fight for what’s right. Therefore, anger isn’t your enemy. Trying to resist or suppress your anger can only cause things to backfire. So, it is important to notice what anger is trying to tell us. It is important that you try to not just tame the fire, but also know what caused it in the first place. So, here are five simple techniques you can use when you feel extremely frustrated, annoyed, or angry at work: 5 Easy Techniques To Manage Anger Issues At Work Here are five easy techniques that can help you manage anger issues at work. 1. The Ten-Second Pause Remind yourself to pause for 10 seconds (or more) before responding to a triggering situation. Let’s say you receive an email that makes you fume with anger. This brief pause can help the initial wave of anger to subside and it can give you some time to collect your thoughts and draft a better reply. 2. Label Your Emotions Once you have taken the ten-second pause, take a deep breath and notice what you are feeling at the moment. You may say something mentally like, “I am feeling frustrated right now,” or “This is making me angry” Simply identifying and acknowledging emotion can help you detach from it and prevent it from controlling your actions. 3. Try Humour Now this can be a tricky one. But, a well-timed, tasteful, lighthearted joke can diffuse the tension in a frustrating situation. However, using this technique requires good judgment and should only be used if you feel like it is appropriate for the workplace culture and the people involved. Try to avoid sarcasm or a passive-aggressive tone as can be misinterpreted as mocking. 4. Broken Record Technique If a coworker is escalating a situation in an accusatory tone, try the “broken record” technique.  Calmly and repeatedly state your main point again without getting drawn into their emotional response, like a broken record.  For example, “I understand you’re upset, but I need you to focus on the specific issue at hand.” 5. Look Inward After a situation where you felt your anger rising, take some time to reflect.  Think about what triggered you, how you handled it, and what you could do differently next time.  Consider journaling your thoughts or talking to a trusted colleague, or even your therapist, for objective feedback.  This self-reflection helps you identify patterns and develop more effective coping mechanisms for the future. By recognizing your anger as a signal and using these techniques, you can transform it from a destructive force into a tool for positive change.  Remember, anger issues don’t have to define your workplace experience.  With a little self-awareness and effort, you can create a calmer and more productive work environment for yourself and those around you. Seeking Professional Help For Anger Issues  While these techniques are a valuable starting point, if you find they’re insufficient and your anger issues significantly impact your work life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Remember, extreme or unmanageable anger at work can damage your relationships with colleagues and supervisors. A therapist can provide additional tools and strategies for managing your anger and help you develop healthier communication patterns at work. Taking charge of your anger issues can lead to a

Staring in the mirror and wishing you could love your body just the way it is? This can be a real struggle. Your friends tell you to ‘just accept yourself,’ but the negative voice in your head seems to drown out their words.  You’re not alone. Body image issues are a common battle, and feeling like you are the only one trapped in a critical self-talk loop is a normal part of this journey. Wondering ‘why’ you can’t seem to love your body is a natural question. In this article, we’ll explore some of the hidden reasons why body acceptance can feel so out of reach. Understanding these reasons can be the first step towards self-compassion and, ultimately, a healthier relationship with yourself. The Hidden Reasons Behind Body Image Issues  We often think body image issues are just about our appearance. “If I lose weight,” we tell ourselves, “I’ll finally love how I look.” So we push ourselves to the limit with exercise and restrict our food intake, chasing a specific image in the mirror. But the frustrating truth is, that even after achieving that image, the discomfort often remains. Or, the relationship with our bodies can also be negatively affected by giving up on it. The pressure to look good is so overwhelming that instead of pushing yourself to exercise, you give up on your body altogether, eat unhealthily, or do not exercise.  Here’s the key: body image isn’t just about how you look, it’s about how you believe others see you, whether it’s true or not. It’s the voice in your head whispering doubts and anxieties, regardless of reality. Here are a few reasons why the mind engages in such self-critical chatter. 1. Image-driven society Our world bombards us with images, often portraying unrealistic beauty standards that overshadow our true worth. Social media, especially, thrives on carefully curated snapshots that rarely reflect reality. We scroll through feeds filled with seemingly “perfect” individuals, subtly pushing products and unrealistic ideals. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to these portrayals, leading to the nagging question, “Why don’t I look like them?” This constant comparison can chip away at our self-esteem, making us feel inadequate and fueling negative body image. Most of this feeling of inadequacy is subconscious and accepted without question. 2. Fleeting trends Flawless skin, washboard abs, a specific body shape, the list goes on and on. We chase these unrealistic ideals, striving to be “perfect” and unique, only to end up looking strangely similar. But here’s the truth: we were meant to be different. Our unique features, from our eyes to our curves, tell a story and hold a beauty all their own. Each one is a reflection of our heritage and experiences, carrying the legacy of many generations. Chasing unattainable standards only puts our bodies through unnecessary struggle and pain. It’s time to embrace what makes us unique, to find the beauty in our individuality, and to remember that true beauty lies far beyond the fleeting trends and unrealistic expectations. 3. Marketing gimmicks We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us we’re not good enough. Scroll through social media and every ad seems designed to convince you of a “flaw” you never knew you had, pushing a quick fix in the form of their product. Clear skin? You need this face wash. Not toned enough? Try this new workout program. The message is clear: there’s something inherently wrong with you, and only their product can make it right. The problem is, that even if you manage to achieve that “perfect” look, society often finds a new way to make you feel inadequate. It’s a constant game of shifting goalposts, leaving many feeling like they’ll never be good enough.  4. Mental conditioning We’re not born hating our bodies. Let’s take the example of babies- they connect with others based on warmth and smiles, not appearances. But somewhere along the way, when they grow up, they get bombarded with messages about what’s “ideal,” shaping how they see themselves and others. These messages come from everywhere – family, friends, society, and media – slowly chipping away at their self-acceptance. It’s like peeling an onion: to truly love your body, you have to peel back those layers of conditioning.  5. Resistance To Change We’ve all been there: looking back at old photos and thinking, “Wow, I looked great then!” But the irony is, we probably felt insecure and unattractive back then too. That’s the trick of negative body image – it keeps us from being happy with ourselves, no matter what. It can tie us to the past, yearning for a time when we “think” we looked better, or fixate on the future, constantly chasing an ever-changing ideal. This leaves us feeling lost and disconnected from the present moment. Often, these struggles stem from a resistance to change. We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, like the belief that we “should” have flawless skin at any age. These rigid standards only set us up for disappointment and pain.  While understanding the reasons behind negative body image is crucial, it’s important to remember that self-acceptance doesn’t equate to complacency. It doesn’t mean giving up on healthy habits or self-improvement. Instead, it’s about fostering a holistic approach to well-being. It’s about nurturing our bodies with kindness and respect, acknowledging their abilities and limitations, and celebrating our unique beauty – both inside and out.  The goal of exercise is to live well, not look good, The role of healthy eating is to feel light and good in your skin, not look good. When you uncouple good eating eating habits and exercise with how you look, you do much better, and become much less disappointed when you don’t lose weight or your acne doesn’t go away. Try choosing a form of exercise that gives you joy, and exercise because you love yourself, not in order to love yourself. Focusing solely on numbers on the scale or unrealistic appearance ideals tells only half the