Blog!
TOUCH – A POWERFUL SENSE INDEED!!
“What’s in a touch?” one may ask. I came across an article on ‘psyblog’ ( read it here) that seemed to convey, “what is NOT in a touch?” The potency of touch as a means of communication is often underestimated. We often use ‘conversation’ or ‘talking’ and ‘communication’ synonymously, even while we surely have read about facial expressions and body language as being more powerful than spoken content while in interaction. Going one step ahead, body language immediately brings to our mind elements of body posture such as slouching, stooping, standing upright, having hands folded etc. Well, what we miss out on, possibly due to cultural norms, is that body language also involves touch.
YOUR STRUGGLE WITH YOURSELF: COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
What happens when what you think does not agree with what you also think?
Whether you are aware of it or not, it happens all the time! That’s the phenomenon sophisticatedly known in psychology as cognitive dissonance. Let’s take an example we knew in our childhood. Haven’t we all heard of the story of the fox and the sour grapes? In the story the fox has two conflicting thoughts: -“the grapes are sweet’. “I cannot have them.”
The fox’s resolution of the conflict is inducing the belief “the grapes are sour”. What the fox technically does is resolves its state of cognitive dissonance because it is too difficult to accept the two conflicting thoughts.
Much as we laugh and scorn at this silly fox, we do similar things all the time.
EFFECT OF REEL AGGRESSION: DESENSITIZATION
Desensitization to aggression is a much discussed issue. It refers to a psychological state where the impact of aggression fails to rub off on the mind, when we are “not affected” when we watch scenes of violence. While this could be great news for a good night’s sleep, experiencing it repeatedly could slowly begin to erode empathy out of our systems when such a situation occurs in real life.
MAKE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE: FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
Whatever we focus on expands.
As human beings with limited resources of attention, we can only focus on a few things at a time. Naturally, whatever we invest energy and attention in, becomes more important and significant to us. In other words, it gets amplified. The other aspects of the situation are ignored.
Amplification is the process of making something larger and more important than it is, be it thoughts, emotions or experiences. Unfortunately, usually without even consciously realizing, most people focus on the negative aspects of situations. We’re always thinking of what all can go wrong, rather than what can go right. With this mode of thinking, people soon find themselves spiraling downwards into an abyss of anxiety, fear and depression.
IT’S ALL IN THE DEFENSES…INDIA-PAKISTAN CRICKET
2nd April 2011, Saturday night. India lifted the cricket world cup …and we were in a frenzy of celebration! It was a “dream come true” moment for team India and many of us across the country. An utterly delicious icing to the cake….the cake being our win over Pakistan. MS Dhoni made a particularly interesting comment about cricket fans’ expectations after their win against Australia in the quarter finals – “we don’t care about the finals, just win the SEMI-FINALS!!”. Why not? Ind/Pak clashes are always mouth-watering….probably even more than the match where we actually bagged the cup. Let us think about this…which match instantly stirred up a bigger adrenaline rush in us and meant sheer excitement? Ind-Pak or Ind-Sri Lanka? For most of us, the answer would be the former. Why so?
LIVING IN THE NOW- THE HADZA WAY
Why do we suffer? Like a lot of you who would read this, I too ask the same question. Trying to answer that might lead us to an entirely philosophical and spiritual debate, which is not the aim of this piece. However, the question-what is the best way to diminish this suffering seems to often result in one answer-live in the now-in the present moment. This holds merit whether we arrive at it through the Zen or Buddhist path or through the Choice theory and Cognitive therapy path. And yet we find that living in the present is no easy task, although the present is all we have.
Telling It Right- Tips For Communication With Children
Imagine a scenario, where you are an athlete, a runner and you have a coach who is giving you some last minute instructions before the race starts. Which set of instructions are likely to help you?
“Be attentive to all those around you, there are superior runners here. Some have won many such races in the past. They are medalists. Be very attentive to the whistle. Don’t miss it.”
OR
“You have practiced what you could, now enjoy the run. Run freely with your whole mind and body. Don’t worry. Give your best.”
RESCUING YOU RESCUES ME
A lot of people that I have met recently seem to be caught in the classic rescuer complex. They live for others, their happiness, their needs, their wishes – the self is nowhere in the picture. You live for your parents, your spouse, your children, the community, even pets – absolutely anything that is external could be a worthy candidate. What about yourself, aren’t you worthy of your own love?
VICARIOUS TRAUMA AND PTSD
We suffer for stressful events that occur in our own lives and probably in the lives of those whom we love. However, can we also suffer intensely for painful events that occur in the lives of unknown people living miles away from us? The answer, though unexpected, is a definite yes.
WITH PRAYERS
Inner Space officially started on the 26th of December 2010-with prayers. A small, family and friends, get together cum prayer meeting was held to make the occasion meaningful. Each person present was required to read a prayer that inspired or touched them. It was an attempt to express what prayer meant to each of us within the context of wisdom of several faiths. Passages were quoted from the Bible, the Quran and the Upanishads. Some people read prayers they had written and others quoted spiritual poetry. Some interesting readings have been put down here:
THE BEGINNING…
It’s always uneasily wonderful to start a new journey, a new practice, settle in a new place or start a new blog. ‘New’ is delicate, adventurous, beautiful, thrilling and uncertain. With me, as luck would have it, the uneasiness of starting to write the first post on this website was largely allayed and I could enjoy just the thrill of what was wonderful.
I owe this mainly to something I was reading a few months ago…