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10 Tips for Parents to Ensure Your Teen’s Cyber Wellness
A study conducted in the US in 2018 showed that 45% of teens surveyed check their social media constantly. Youtube, Instagram and Snapchat are three of the most frequently visited online platforms in the world. In our ubiquitous digital world, these mediums become the platform for us to communicate and stay in touch with family and friends. The world wide web has also become extremely popular for online gaming and blogging. The internet can offer wonderfully supportive online communities that encourage exposure to unique ideas and perspectives. This also makes it imperative to sensitize your teenager to cyber wellness. When dealing with teenagers, it is essential that parents strike a delicate balance between parental supervision and teen independence. Teenagers can then learn the skills they need to navigate the captivating yet unpredictable digital world with parents providing them with supportive networks. Here are some tips for parents to ensure that teenagers are practicing cyber wellness. 10 Tips to Ensure Your Teen’s Cyber Wellness: 1. Monitor what your Teen has access to and how much time they spend online. You can speak to your internet service provider about plans that are best suited for your family. You can also establish rules beforehand about how long your child can spend online each day. It is essential that these rules are laid out in advance and not in response to an online transgression. 2. Develop a Healthy Dialogue with your kids about online safety. Speak to them about the importance of being safe online. You can use stories from the news or their own experiences as teachable moments to broach sensitive topics. You would also want to discuss topics such as sexting, pornography and cyber-bullying so that they are well aware of the impact and consequences of each of these. If they are discussing this with you in an open and honest way, chances are they will be less likely to turn to the web to get answers to their questions on relationships and sexuality. Teens are very inquisitive about these topics at this age and it is important to establish a precedent where your kids know they can come to you with these questions. 3. Keep Up to Date on the latest apps, social media trends and platforms that your teen likes to use. This will enable you to be more watchful of their activities online and you can be more mindful of the potential dangers of the apps. 4. Speak to them about Privacy Settings, Personal Information and Online Purchases. Advise them to never share their name, date of birth, phone number or address online. You can also discuss the privacy settings of their Facebook and Instagram accounts and encourage them to only add people that they know to their friends’ list. If they are making purchases online, urge them to use reliable websites that have reviews from other customers. 5. Model Appropriate Behaviour Online. Teenagers do not appreciate the age-old adage of “do as I say not as I do”. They are going to be following your every move. Model behaviour that is appropriate and similar to how you would want your child to behave online. For instance, stick to a time limit you have agreed on when surfing the net. 6. Encourage them to be Responsible and Respectful online. Kids sometimes say things online that they may not say face to face. Online anonymity gives them a free rein to say things that may be disrespectful or mean. Speak to them about being responsible and compassionate users. 7. Positive digital footprint. A positive digital footprint is the “footprint” we leave behind when we post or share content online. Kids don’t realize that something that they write or post online can be up there forever. So it is essential that they are prudent about the type of content they are putting up. 8. Show that you Trust them. Establish an environment of non-judgement and trust in your home. Speak to your teen about the importance of being safe and accessing content that is appropriate. Allow them to explore the digital world in the safe environs of your home. 9. Establish Rules about Internet Use for Everyone in the Family. For instance, you can designate certain areas in your house to be screen free and zones- this will discourage them from using their devices late at night in their room where supervision is limited. Screen-safe zones are areas where your teen can access the internet. These can be areas in your house that are common to everyone. 10. Downloading Content from the Internet. Teens need to be aware of the possible implications of downloading content such as movies or music illegally. Speak to them about accessing this content in safe and secure ways. Cyber wellness is closely linked to overall wellness, with both affecting each other, much like most forms of wellness are. Connect with your child to ensure his/hers and your wellness! Post Contributed By: Liz Cyriac. Liz is a counselling psychologist. She briefly worked with us and did therapy with children, adolescents and young adults.
How Loneliness Affects your Physical Health : World Health Day Series
Loneliness: Not Just An Emotional State, But A Physical Risk Too This is the third, concluding post in our World Health Day series. The first one was on lack of routine and its impact on physical health and the second one spoke about how developmental trauma could cause psychosomatic symptoms. Today’s post, written by Prerana Dharnidharka, a couples and sex therapist who worked with us from 2018-2020, looks at how loneliness affects your physical health and what you could do about it. The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives – Esther Perel, a famous relationship therapist. This is not just a philosophical stance. The lack of fulfilling relationships or loneliness, in fact, makes us prone to poor physical heath and a lower quality of life. In honor of world health day, I want to highlight the significant risk loneliness poses to our health and happiness, especially among older adults. Impact Of Loneliness On Physical Health Loneliness (or the perceived gap between the relationships we want and the relationships we have) is a common and universal human experience. Feeling persistently lonely however, increases the likelihood of death loneliness and can harm our bodies too. Loneliness can reduce our lifespan, just like smoking, physical inactivity and obesity do. We have public advisories about the harmful effects of smoking but no one tells us that not having a solid network of friends and family (i.e. social isolation) can harm us by increasing the risk for coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, chronic diseases and a dysregulated immune system. It can also make it difficult to sleep restfully which has a cascading effect on our physical health. So loneliness hurts and it hurts more physically than we imagine. Why Do We Feel Lonely? We could experience loneliness for a host of reasons. Life events such as moving to a new place, children moving away or getting divorced can trigger a period of loneliness. Even positive life changes such as getting married or having a baby can make you feel very lonely as you transition into a new life phase and struggle with the inherent challenges. As we age, we may lose family members friends to death or health issues might restrict our ability to be social. Or we could just feel subjectively lonely even if we have a network of friends and family. Is Loneliness Impacting Your Well-Being? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and overcome your loneliness and lead a happy, balanced life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment Why Is Loneliness So Harmful? How and why loneliness affects us so negatively is a complex answer involving our genetics, physiological functioning, immune system, sleep and the perception of stress. To simplify however, one way in which loneliness hurts us is by making us feel unsafe and perceive the world as an unfriendly place. When we perceive this lack of safety, we expect more negative experiences with others. When we expect negative interactions with others, we tend to get negative interactions and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Disappointed by this negativity, we might withdraw socially and feel more anxious, stressed and pessimistic. This might then contribute to the development of health problems. Loneliness can also make us poor at self-regulation, i.e. the way we manage our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We might have a harder time doing things that take effort, coping with negative emotions and engaging in health promoting behaviors like exercise and monitoring alcohol use. All of this would increase our risk for poor physical health. What Can You Do? Evaluate your own level of loneliness: Reflecting on your own level of loneliness is a good first step. Respond to the 3-item loneliness scale (Hughes, Waite, Hawkley, & Cacioppo, 2004) below. This is not a clinical measure that can tell you if your level of loneliness is unhealthy or not. But it is one way you can quickly assess if loneliness is an area of stress for you. How often do you feel that you lack companionship: Hardly ever, some of the time, or often? How often do you feel left out: Hardly ever, some of the time, or often? How often do you feel isolated from others: Hardly ever, some of the time, or often? If you responded with “often” to all 3 statements, then loneliness might be a stressor for you. Reflect on your existing relationships: Ask yourself, how are my current close relationships going? Do I feel understood and connected? Am I getting what I need? Am I making active efforts to make them fulfilling? Based on this reflection, you can decide if your relationships need more time, effort and communication. Proactively invest in building and maintaining your relationships: Next time you’re faced with a choice, to binge watch something on Netflix or go out and do something social, go out. Take initiative, plan more social experiences, reach out without being asked, show up for your friends and family and ask for what you need. It’s worth it. About the Author This article was written by Prerna Dharnidaraka, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about loneliness and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Overcome Depression And Reclaim Your Life Preventing Depression: Boosting Your Psychological Immunity Coping with Social Anxiety: The Fear of Being Judged
How Developmental Trauma Causes Psychosomatic Symptoms : World Health Day Series
This is the second sharing in our World Health Day series. The last one was on Lack of Routine and its impact on physical health. Today’s sharing is on Psychosomatic Symptoms and its relationship with chronically unprocessed emotions. In my therapy practice, I see several clients coming in with complaints like chronic body pain, asthma, ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, even life threating cancers. They have typically spent years on various medical regiments before coming in for therapy. Some clients experience a sudden loss of functioning in a part of their body, which cannot be explained medically. Again, several years pass by before they think of seeking therapy for their concerns. Their history suggests normal lifestyles with no big ‘trauma’, man-made or natural, to offset such intense chronic concerns. Can psychological therapy make a difference in these cases? Turns out it can! After a considerable amount of therapy, some clients experience even a complete resolution of symptoms, whereas some became more responsive to their medical treatment, leading to a better prognosis. So What Worked? Why Did Therapy Help? Becoming aware and working on the common thread running through these apparent physiological concerns is what helped. The root cause was in the mind, not in the body. Though they hadn’t experienced big traumas, a closer analysis of their life suggested the presence of “developmental trauma” in many cases. Experience or perception of negative, abusive, neglectful (lack of warmth) harsh environment in childhood left them ill equipped to deal with stressors as life progressed. To deal with their circumstances, they numbed themselves, suppressing and cutting off from their emotional pain. Unfortunately, if you numb the negative emotions, the positive ones get numbed too. Hence, this compromised their capacity to feel positive as well. They interacted with the world more cognitively, focusing on getting things done and moving on. Over a period of time this unprocessed emotional energy started to manifest in bodily symptoms. Chronic body pain for instance was associated with the burden of carrying responsibilities from a very young age and a lack of love and support. Asthma was associated with a suppression of one’s own voice and not articulating one’s feelings in most situations. Ulcerative colitis and cancer were associated with huge amounts of guilt and anger. Some people I have worked with haven’t undergone developmental trauma but have experienced prolonged stress and are left with issues like migraines and repetitive eruptions of ulcers and skin conditions. Mobilizing and processing the emotional energy in a safe and holding environment began the psychological healing process, which started reflecting on the body as well. Clients with complaints of different aches and pains demonstrated remarkable improvement while patients suffering from advanced conditions like Cancers felt more in control of their diagnosis and medical treatment. A unanimous feeling they all shared was a regret of not keeping their mental health in check and seeking psychological help at an earlier stage that could have perhaps averted the physiological condition altogether. One of the other key commonalities was the complete lack of awareness of the emotional suffering they were experiencing over a period of time. On the contrary, they dismissed their suffering as trivial and unimportant. They were either not feeling the pain as a consequence of numbing themselves or were in state of (helpless) denial about its existence that ultimately led to chronic physical diseases that warranted attention. Breaking The Cycle: Preventing Psychosomatic Symptoms ‘The past is present for new learning to occur’. Tune into your inner world, be honest with yourself and answer the following questions: Do you generally feel little or no emotions? It’s like being on neutral in every situation. Do your thoughts comprise primarily of things to do? Quickly shunning away emotionally loaded material? Do you have past experiences that you believe you are over however get uncomfortable when triggered? Do you consider others’ needs before yours and have a hard time saying no? If the answers to the above questions is a “yes” you are prone to developing psycho- somatic symptoms because of your tendency of coping by suppression and by not putting yourself as priority. As they say – A healthy body is a reflection of a healthy mind. On this “World health day” make a resolve for improving your mental- health as your physical health depends on it. Attune to your emotions, as they are messengers guiding you through life. When there are pleasant experiences allow yourself, to feel the pleasant feelings completely. Challenging situations will produce unpleasant emotions. Instead of resisting it, embrace it as it teaches you to bring about a change towards healthy growth. Is Trauma negatively impacting your life? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and learn more about trauma and lead a happy, stress-free life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment Frequently Asked Questions What are some ways to manage Developmental Trauma by myself? Some of the best ways to manage developmental trauma is through mindfulness practices, learning and being informed about trauma, and being in groups to provide support to yourself and others from trauma. Can all trauma be Developmental Trauma? No, as there are multiple forms and types of trauma. Developmental trauma, in particular, occurs in childhood and can hinder a normal development of the child. Can I get better from Developmental Trauma? Certainly. Trauma can be effectively healed and managed with the help of various therapeutic and self-help strategies. About the Author This article was written by Gitali Chatterjee, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about Developmental Trauma and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Coping With The Psychological Effects Of Traumatic News Vicarious Trauma and PTSD Disciplining Children With Compassion
How Does Lack of Routine Impact Your Health? : World Health Day Series
Today is World Health Day! We don’t need ‘days’ to look after ourselves. However, they are good reminders to look into anything we might be missing out on. After all, they make us think of whatever the day is about, even if for a few moments. This World Health day, we decided to write about ways in which Mental Health affects Physical Health. With the boom in mental health awareness, we all know that mental health affects physical health. However, the specifics of this are still not known to many. How does mental health affect physical health? What factors can affect it? To what extent can the effect be? To shed light on these questions, over this week, we will share an article on the effect of 3 factors on mental and physical health: Lack of a Routine – irregular sleep, lack of proper eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle Loneliness – lack of companionship and feelings of isolation Developmental and Relational Trauma – chronic and intensely distressing experiences in childhood and adulthood Today’s sharing is the first of these three. It is a sharing from Nandita Sarma, one of our therapists. Stay tuned this week for the other two! How is Lack of a Routine Detrimental to Physical and Mental Health? What is lack of a routine? It is irregular sleep, eating habits and exercise. Most often we think of mental health and physical health as two separate entities but they are often very closely linked. These irregular habits often show immediate effects on our emotional well being. It often makes us restless, focus in our day to day activities becomes a task, we feel fatigue or a dip in energy and we become short tempered…to name just a few effects. A lot of us suffer from poor sleep patterns and we often blame – stress, taking work home, our relationship with our gadgets. What Are We Missing? The cost of a lack of routine is much higher than just bad moods and lack of focus. There is research evidence that irregular sleep habits put you at a risk of diabetes, heart disease, obesity and it shortens your life expectancy. If you seem to catch almost every flu and cold that is going around, your bedtime could be to blame. Extended periods of lack of sleep can disturb your immune system and your body might not be in a position to fight, like it used to. Regular sleep habits boosts your immunity, prevents diabetes, increases sex drive. Regular sleep habits generally help us function better mentally and physically. Lack of irregular eating habits and exercise may lead to many mental and physical ailments. The National Institute of Health links long-term poor nutrition with a number of physical issues. These include obesity, high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, gallstones, gout and many other health problems. According to them, a sedentary lifestyle increases the risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis and infertility. In recent times, I have noticed that a lack of routine in the lifestyle has become a norm. There is no consistency, therefore people struggle to maintain a balance in their personal, professional and social lives. It is sometimes difficult to identify what comes to the forefront first – mental stress or physical ailments. But maintaining a routine will definitely help in functioning to the best of your abilities at a steady pace. We almost always put a lot of thought before doing anything….on this World Health Day, leave the thinking aside and just start. It’ll do a lot of good to both your mental and physical wellbeing. ADD THIS SIMPLE PRACTICE INTO YOUR LIFE TO CREATE A ROUTINE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDP181LvDrc&ab_channel=InnerSpace about the author share this blog! read similar blogs
Inner Space Turns 8!
Inner Space Turns 8! We turned 8 on the 26th of December, 2018! As always, we are excited and happy, more so because we have moved into a new office space! We feel deeply grateful towards everybody who has been with us on this journey, our clients, our therapists and staff, our readers, and whoever has interacted with us in some capacity. We work each day looking to make a difference in some way, through action, intention or through the heart. You all are a big part of what keeps us going, and we thank you for every bit of it! Inner Space in 2018 We’ve put together snippets of how this year was for us and some highlights of the year. We have a New Office! The biggest change this year was that we moved into a new office space, the inauguration of which we held recently! In addition to bringing in fresh energy and novelty, this space also has a dedicated meditation hall that we are very excited about! Geshe Lobsang Tenzin graced our center with his peaceful, embodied presence. He conducted a meditation session for us and blessed the center. It was a beautiful experience. Previous Next Our Meditation Workshops We hold mindfulness meditation workshops through the year. As always, we feel joyful to hold these workshops and create a space for mindfulness, rest and compassion. This year, we conducted: An eight week course on mindfulness and meditation A mindfulness based psychotherapy course A mindfulness meditation retreat, Introductory mindfulness workshops Previous Next Workshops in Organizations We also feel grateful and happy to have conducted mindfulness meditation workshops in more organizations this year. Among others, we conducted mindfulness workshops for :- Employees and their families at Tata Power Senior Leaders at Mercedes Benz Women employees at Asian Paints Students at iCall (Tata Institute of Social Sciences) A Mindfulness Retreat for Antarang Foundation Sadia Saeed, our founder and chief psychologist also represented Inner Space at the 100 Wellness Leaders’ Meet, Mexico in May 2018. Previous Next Some Sharings from the Team Entering Inner Space began the most beautiful phase of my life. Thank you Inner Space for accommodating me with so much love and warmth in the past three and half years, being patient, allowing me to make mistakes and learn from them, supporting me and giving me space to find my unique style in therapy, fulfilling all my needs and instilling in me a sense of unshakable confidence to take up bigger challenges. Gitali Chatterji, Psychologist and Counselor Working with Inner Space has been rewarding and invaluable. The physical space, team interaction and group work, Sadia’s backing when we’d be stuck with difficulties in cases and the amazing client journeys we could aide through inner space has been wonderful. Truly enriching and adequately stimulating has been my experience. Wishing all of the Inner Space team and the clients a healing, rewarding experience Kunjal Shah, Psychologist and Counselor, 2012-2018 I have seen myself grow with the space since it was founded. Sadia and my other team mates have helped me overcome many a difficulty over these years, be it personal or professional. I have found the practice of mindfulness meditation and its underlying philosophy immensely useful, both in my life as well as in therapy. I am deeply thankful to Inner Space for being a space of warmth and growth. Malini Krishnan, Psychologist and Counselor I have met so many incredible people, as clients and as colleagues, through my 6 years at Inner Space. It has been a very powerful journey, where I have grown internally, been trusted and accepted, where I have unfolded deeper realms within myself while touching other people’s lives. I feel truly grateful. Megha Tulsiyan, Psychologist and Counselor, 2013-2018. We hope to continue working as best as we can and growing with you. May each of you be well and happy, as you enter into the new year. Wishing you the best!
Breaking the Silence on Sexual Difficulties
Sexual difficulties are about as common as eating or sleeping disorders. Research shows that sexual dysfunction affects about 43% of women and about 31% of men in the United States. Statistics for insomnia and eating disorders in the United States are not far behind. 30% of adults report at least short term issues with insomnia. Up to 30 million people suffer from an eating disorder. However, if you try searching for statistics of sexual difficulties in India, you will not see many search results. A search for statistics of eating disorders, however, will yield plenty of results! There is not much data on sexual difficulties in India. This shows that these difficulties are not spoken about enough. Instead, they are probably brushed under the carpet. Sexual Difficulties Are More Common Than You think If you experience sexual difficulty, chances are that you have felt isolated. You have probably felt that only you go through it, while people around you are having no issues. As a therapist, I can assure you that this isn’t true. If I were to think of the top 5 reasons why people approach therapists, issues pertaining to sexuality and intimacy would definitely feature as one. Issues such as difficulty getting intimate, intimacy not being pleasurable, couples not having had intercourse for years together, difficulty feeling aroused, sexual incompatibility etc. are fairly common. If you experience any of these, you are certainly not alone. Why, Are Then, Sexual Difficulties Not Spoken About? Sex and sexuality are typically seen as basic instincts that should “naturally” be in place. Moreover, the world around us seems to support this notion. Be it television series, movies, videos or books, sex is almost always portrayed as easy and natural. Even the stories we hear from those around us are about the awesome experiences they have had. There seems to be no space, no opportunity, for sexual difficulties to be discussed. Hence, having sexual difficulties can cause a lot of shame and self doubt. People who experience such difficulties can feel deeply unattractive, less masculine or feminine, less deserving of love and attention. They can harbor acute fears about being in romantic relationships, though they yearn for one. Sexual difficulties can make one feel that something fundamental is wrong with them. They then look for ways and means to fix the problem, trying one thing after another. However, one important factor about sexuality is often missed out, that is, sex is as psychological as it is physical. Sex Is As Psychological As It Is Physical Sex is about intimacy. It is about what happens to you when you reveal yourself, as you are, to another. It’s quite a handful, since it involves being vulnerable, open, powerful, free and more together. Sex begins with an instinct, but is influenced by a whole bunch of factors when it has to express itself. In therapy work with clients, we look deeper into what is preventing intimacy and we often discover that the reasons are more psychological than physical. Some of the myriad factors that can cause sexual difficulties are: Chronic childhood experiences that shape personality a certain way Chronic anxiety, brooding, constant stress and worry Self image issues – a low self image can have a direct impact on sexual expression. Body image issues – since sex and intimacy are bodily expressions, body image issues can also directly influence one’s confidence and freedom with sexuality. Openness about Intimacy in the family – We grow up watching how our parents treat intimacy for themselves, in their own lives. Sometimes we are also expressly taught how to view things like intimacy. Both things can impact how we relate to our own sexuality. Other factors are suppressed anger, difficulty expressing power or love, fear of losing people or relationships, insecurity, etc. The list is hard to cover. However this is indication enough that sexuality is psychological rather than simply physical. Having Trouble Talking About Your Sexual Difficulties? Counseling can be a great tool for you to open up about and overcome your sexual difficulties and lead a happy, stress-free life with your partner. We are here for you. Book an Appointment Reducing The Shame Around Sexual Difficulties It is important that we create an environment that feels safe enough for sexual difficulties to be discussed. Let each one of us play our part in reducing the air of secrecy and shame around it by understanding it with more perspective. Let’s be careful before we playfully belittle someone who has sexual difficulties; trying to understand them better before we arrive at conclusions. If you have sexual difficulties, it is important to know that you are really not alone. Perhaps these issues mean that some part of you needs healing and expression. It is also important to remember that help is available. There are relationship and sex therapists who dedicatedly work with the psychological factors that underlie sexual difficulties. Rather than struggling with the shame and feeling alone, it is often far more beneficial to reach out to a professional. For sexuality is an expression of the self, the seed is an instinct, the manifestation is like a tree, affected by the sun, winds and soil. Browse our Relationship Counseling Services: Online Marriage Counseling Session Online Premarital Counseling Services Online individual counseling services About the Author This article was written by Malini Krishnan, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about sexual difficulties and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Embracing Sex In Relationships Why Marriages And Relationships Work Inspite Of Problems Online Counseling For Couples: How It Works And Why It Can Be Effective
