Blog!
WHY WINNING COULD BE A DISAPPOINTMENT
The list is out! You’re in! After a million hours of preparation and a zillion prayers, you’ve got through to the IIM! You’re officially and rightfully part of the top niche. Your dream has come true. A flashback flashes through your mind:
Sitting in school – day dreaming of IIM,
giving board examinations – mugging for IIM,
extra-currics in college – building a CV for IIM,
slogging for CAT, GDs and PI – preparing for IIM,
staring at the list – already in IIM!
It’s been your goal for as long as you can remember and you have proved to be worthy of it.
But something doesn’t feel right.
FEELING OVERWORKED – WHAT YOU CAN DO
Your alarm goes “trrrrrrrrrring” in the morning and your eyes are almost sealed shut.
Snooze.
Yet again “trrrrrrring”
Squirms, sighs, irritation.
You wake up to yet another day. Or yet another time-table? Let me narrate some more. Every hour of your day is like a timed, one-minute game. It’s all about speed, efficiency and energy and you are constantly feeling overworked.
KINDNESS: MORALITY OR A WAY TO MENTAL HEALTH?
Be Kind. Not just because it makes you look good, but primarily because it makes you ‘feel’ good. I would understand kindness as helping another person, in any way you can, without expecting anything in return. Kindness is not defined in magnitude, but only the purity of intent. Be it giving tons of money to charities or helping an old person cross the street – it’s all equally important and significant.
NURTURING YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM
‘Self-esteem’ is, to put it simply, what an individual thinks of himself/ herself. Also known as ‘self-confidence’, self-esteem is a key determinant of how we feel about ourselves and the world. It drives our actions and choices and pretty much establishes how we live our lives. Think about that goal you’ve been longing to achieve but haven’t tried to so far. There’s something about that goal which is repulsive…or intimidating. The overt thought is “I want this and don’t want it at the same time.” In several cases, the underlying thought is, “what if I am not able to achieve it??” This ‘what if?’ is so threatening that we choose to ‘camp’ and to stop pursuing that goal.
IDENTIFY YOUR TRUE PRIORITIES
I’ve been running behind time for some time now. There’s always a lot to do and just not enough time to do all of it. What does one do then? We compromise. Do the “important” things first, and let the things that can wait, wait. More often than not, the things we keep postponing include the movie with family, the coffee with friends, the yoga class the doctor has recommended a 100 times or your favorite guitar, which now longs for your touch.
DEALING WITH JEALOUSY IN FRIENDSHIP
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both
SILENCE : PEACE IN A “NOISY” WORLD
Our lives today are full of noise – auditory, visual, tactile, cognitive etc. From honking cars, to bright neon billboards, uncomfortably tight clothing to endless worries, there is an overload of stimulus input from all these modalities. This understandably overworks and gradually exhausts our sense organs, our mind, our body and our very nerves.
Why Marriages And Relationships Work Inspite Of Problems
A happy marriage or relationship is where both partners understand each other, love each other unconditionally, communicate effectively and love doing little nothings for each other- so we are told. Those marriages or couples that are not like this are not quite there!
However, we see in our own lives and in lives of those close to us, a number of relationships do not have these qualities. And yet, they last! Some for decades! Ever wondered how is it that without these so assumed ‘basic’ needs, relationships still last?
THE SEEDS OF SELF ESTEEM – ‘INITIATIVE VERSUS GUILT’
‘Initiative versus Guilt’ is one of the eight stages of psychosocial development proposed by pioneering psychoanalyst Erik Erikson (1902 – 1994). Each of the stages described by Erikson constitute a milestone in personality development, wherein the child is faced with a primary psychological issue / theme/ conflict that he/she needs to resolve satisfactorily for healthy development of the personality. For eg., the conflict faced by the child in its first year is, “ Is the world a good and safe place to live in?” and in its second year is, “Am I capable of controlling my environment?”
Improving Memory For Learned Material
It is the beginning of the academic year. It will soon be time to slog it out with those never ending chapters, long notes and innumerable details to know and remember. I wish to share with you few ways that could make our efforts more effective and worthwhile.
HOW TO STOP THINKING EXCESSIVELY: OVERTHINKING PART II
Most of us have experienced or rather suffered rumination at some time, either temporarily or more chronically. Hence, we are here reading more about it. Now that we have understood what rumination is and why it doesn’t work for us more clearly, how do we stop this process?
WHY THINKING A LOT DOESN’T HELP: OVERTHINKING-PART I
Some people complain that “I just can’t seem to think” but a larger number, perhaps, find themselves trapped because they just can’t stop thinking! They find themselves thinking all the time – while watching TV, while working, eating and even in sleep! Psychology has a name for it. Rumination.
Rumination is the process of pondering or thinking over something repetitively. It’s pretty much like a cow chewing over her food incessantly. Where rumination may help the cow’s health, it isn’t really helpful for our mental health.