Blog!
TAKING ONE STEP AT A TIME TOWARDS OUR GOAL
“To take the first step in faith, you don’t have to see the whole staircase: just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King
We all have goals – personal, professional, spiritual. I often help people define clear goals, which would help them get a clear picture of what it is that they really want and would in turn help fine-tune their efforts to achieve the same. Making goal lists or vision boards helps immensely in giving your pursuits and life some structure.
However, for some of us the goal list itself can be fear inducing. The goals may seem beyond reach and we may find ourselves in the tight grip of anxiety and distress because achievement of the goals doesn’t seem possible. This may be stemming out of low confidence, inadequate resources, lack of discipline or even just procrastination. The target may seem too high up on the peak and the path too treacherous to undertake.
PRESERVING THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP
As parents, we are naturally concerned about our children. We want them to have a bright future and be self sufficient. Anything that we see as taking the child away from this prospect worries us. We worry, fret and spend considerable time and energy correcting the child. “Don’t do this, it’s bad for you.” “Why don’t you listen to me?”, “I’m saying this for your good and nobody else’s!!” are some statements you would probably connect with. At times, we happen to spend ALL our time with the child in correcting him/her. We consider it our duty to mould them right. Hence, many of us would be constantly on the lookout for the negative behavior, be it disinterest in studies, lack of social interaction, excessive viewing of television, argumentativeness or aggression. Every repetition of that behavior frustrates us and we chide and scold our children or maybe even beat them. However, a good number of times, our child continues to engage in the negative behavior. Therefore, is the current approach you are using effective? What is going wrong here?
WHY DO WE GET ANXIOUS?
Anxiety – that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach, making you uneasy and jittery.. what causes that? Why do we get anxious?
A good chunk of the answer to this lies in our thought processes. We often have recurrent patterns of thought that cause, contribute to or maintain anxiety. Some such thoughts are described in this blog.
THE IMPORTANCE OF TRADITIONAL PLAY
Play. A word that is synonymous with setting the mind free, using imagination and almost creating a new world. However, today, we are increasingly turning to electronic games to fill in most of our play time. Video games and the like are certainly entertaining and stimulating. With advanced technology and thrilling effects, they sure give us an adrenaline rush! However, forms of conventional or traditional play can also offer us a number of psychological benefits in addition to physical benefits. We could be missing out on a world of good that our good old indoor board games, outdoor games and imaginative play could do to us. Wonder how? Let’s explore.
‘Maybe’- A Zen Story
I just love stories! The role of stories in conveying deeper meanings without appearing like direct instruction is unmatched. In my sessions too, I love citing cases or telling stories.
Zen stories are beautiful, in their simplicity and depth of meaning. Here is a lovely story which characterizes the meanings people attach to all events of life. The way we characterize situations as good or bad for us. It reveals simply the meaninglessness of attaching meanings. Read on and enjoy!
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
Anxiety can be described as a state where one experiences symptoms that are bodily, emotional, behavioural and cognitive (involving thought and mental processes). Tension, worry, nervousness and apprehension are some of the words commonly used to describe anxiety.
We have all experienced anxiety, be it in the form of nervousness before going up on stage, tension for exam, apprehension about a decision, worry for our kids or stress for an office presentation. Anxiety can range from being mildly discomforting to severely debilitating and if not dealt with properly can manifest as disorders that negatively affect your daily lives.
“THE PERSON BEHIND THE PARENT” – GROUP SESSION FOR PARENTS
The Inner Space Team announces a group session, ‘The Person behind the Parent’. As a parent you have dropped your children off to classes, therapy sessions, have attended Parent-Teacher meetings, open houses, been called to school to hear complaints or praises, fretted, fumed, stressed and of course loved it to some extent.
Time to love yourself, we say!
EXCESSIVE DAYDREAMING
Your day starts with a mild stir. A stir nowhere else but in your mind. As you go about your daily chores, you feel like your mind is only partially involved. A simultaneous series of thoughts are on too. Your imagination is rolling and how! You imagine yourself giving a stage performance, that boy you like finally making conversation with you, you topping in class or bagging that coveted project….. you are daydreaming. Why are we discussing this? Isn’t daydreaming one pleasant escapade that is safe? Oh yes, it is! However, there are some of us who daydream excessively, so much so that our schedules are delayed or disrupted or our head begins to feel heavy. We probably end up underachieving or simply being dissatisfied with this almost compulsive tendency…yet, it has its own rewards. Let’s understand this better.
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is often seen and dismissed as a virtue of the saintly. Most people cling dearly to their anger, pain and sense of injustice. The choice of not forgiving might temporarily give you a sense of power – power to condemn, power to judge and hold the other person guilty, power of righteously being holier than thou. However, going one level deeper, one sees just how hollow and fictitious this power is. You are actually giving away your power, allowing the opposite person to push your buttons at will, to make you writhe in agony or cry in pain at a whim.
IS YOUR CHILD DEPRESSED?
Depression can affect children as well.
Many of us would feel that this is just a child, how can he/she be depressed? Perhaps it’s just a mood swing or a phase. Yes, that happens too. Not every child who seems sad or introverted is depressed. But if you notice a significant change in your child’s behavior, which he just doesn’t seem to be ‘getting over’ and is adversely impacting his school work and/or relationships, perhaps it’s time to pay attention.
COMMUNICATING SAFETY TIPS TO CHILDREN
Given the fast paced life we all lead, it is a tad too difficult to supervise our children the way our parents probably did. They need to be more independent and therefore need to be aware of all the do’s and don’ts of daily life, especially those pertaining to safety. While this is of paramount importance, it is equally important to provide a balanced perspective of safety to our children.
What I mean to say is we need to guard against communicating to the child that ‘the world is an unsafe place’ and that ‘people are all out to take advantage of you.’ If the child adopts any such belief, it may lead to emotional turmoil which could manifest in anxiety and apprehension, separation anxiety and clinginess or a refusal to be alone. Let us understand better how this happens:
7 MOST EFFECTIVE MENTAL HEALTH TIPS: TIP 7
Tip 7: Be Mindful
I have spoken about mindfulness before, but I cannot stop raving about the benefits of this simple concept. Mindfulness, as someone said, is about paying extra-ordinary attention to ordinary experiences. Simply put, mindfulness is about being in the present completely and fully.