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A Simple Mindfulness Practice: Noticing Yourself Smile
The purpose of this article is to help you be more aware of the nature of your smile through a simple mindfulness practice. Here are some questions for you to answer: What is your smile like? Is it a smirk? Is it a big toothy grin?Are you aware of your smile when in conversation with others and also when you are alone?Do you smile often?Do you have a serious look?Do you smile at yourself when you look in the mirror?Some of the questions may have been easy to answer, some not so easy. Here is how you can try this mindfulness practice to notice and be more mindful of your smile. Want To Start Practicing Mindfulness Meditation? Mindfulness is a beautiful practice that helps us become rooted in life. It involves getting our minds back to the present and paying attention to the life that is unfolding right now within and around us. Start Here A Simple, Mindfulness Practice To Start Smiling ‘Mindfully’ 1. Bring your smile into your awareness: From the time you wake up till the time you go to bed stay with awareness of your smile. Take note of the times you smile. Take note of the times you are not smiling. Do not force your smile to appear or try to keep it away. 2. Notice how smiling makes you feel: Be aware of what the different sensations and movements in your body as you smile. Feel how your cheeks respond to your smile. It may also stir some senses in the rest of your body; observe how the smile makes you feel in your chest center and your stomach. Can you feel the smile in your toes or anywhere else in the body? Do your eyes smile along with your lips? Also notice yourself when you are not smiling. Do you have a straight face? Do your lips turn downwards into a curve? Does your face tend to naturally pout? Be aware of what you do with your lips when you are not speaking. Use this mindfulness practice to stay in awareness. A beautiful excerpt from Thich Nhat Hahn’s book, Being Peace, helps put mindful smiling into perspective: During walking meditation, during kitchen and garden work, during sitting meditation, all day long, we can practice smiling. At first you may find it difficult to smile, and we have to think about why. Smiling means that we are ourselves, that we are not drowned into forgetfulness. This kind of smile can be seen on the faces of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. I would like to offer one short poem you can recite from time to time, while breathing and smiling. Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment. About the Author This article was written by Counselors & Mindfulness Trainers at Inner Space. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about mindfulness and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs What Is Meditation? How To Use Mindfulness During Stressful Situations Cultivating A Beginner’s Mind
Here’s The Truth About Feeling Lonely
The world is more connected than ever. Think about this, a mere click connects us to the other side of the globe. Social media buzzes with constant chatter, and we are just a plane ride away from the most remote places on earth. Yet, a strange irony persists: feeling lonely now seems more common than ever. Rates of loneliness, anxiety, and depression have been rising consistently. Recently, the WHO has declared loneliness to be a “global health threat.” There is a missing piece in this puzzle- we need to understand why we feel alone even while we are right in the middle of connection. In this article, we dive into the roots of loneliness, trying to seek solutions, not just to stop feeling lonely, but to truly understand the deeper meaning behind it. What is Loneliness? Loneliness is a complex emotion, and each individual has their own meaning around feeling lonely. Feeling lonely is more than just being alone, it’s the pain of disconnection even when we are amidst others. Feeling lonely can be transient, or can even be stretched to a life time. Chronic loneliness can weaken our immune system, fuel depression and anxiety, and even affect our physical health. Loneliness can be confusing feeling and it can be complicated to identify. We may feel left out out of the fun of life. We might feel excluded from life’s joys, wondering why others seem to effortlessly connect while we feel like a puzzle piece that just doesn’t belong. These feelings can create a vicious cycle, pushing us further away from others as our mind whispers doubts about our ability to connect meaningfully. Loneliness feels like a dark cloud that follows us around. It makes us feel lost and alone, even when we’re surrounded by people. We try to ignore it by connecting with others in unhealthy ways, but that doesn’t make it better. The real solution is to find deep and meaningful connections with others. These connections will help us feel happy and fulfilled again. We are not alone. Everyone at some point or the other feels lonely. It is a shared, human condition. The Truth about Feeling Lonely The tendency to feel lonely has been deeply embedded into our systems since the wake of mankind. As a social creatures, we needed others to survive. We moved in packs, fought predators, found food, and thrived. Therefore, moving away from the pack meant that we are more exposed to threat. So the ache of loneliness served as a alarm system to remind us to reconnect with our pack, as being alone would result be a threat to our existence. Fast forward to today, where wild animals aren’t the immediate threat, the same pain of feeling lonely persists. When we feel excluded from our social circle, that ache might seem like a personal failing. However, it’s simply an echo of our evolutionary past, a reminder of the importance of connection. The discomfort of loneliness can be a powerful guide, a gentle nudge towards building a deeper connection with ourselves. Look Inward when you are Feeling Lonely Our minds are wired for pleasure, seeking what feels good and avoiding discomfort. But sometimes, exploring the “not-so-good” areas, like choosing healthy food over junk or facing difficult emotions like feeling lonely, opens doors to deeper self-awareness. Feeling lonely can signal the need for social connection. However, seeking one-sided connections or isolating ourselves due to feeling like a misfit can be counterproductive. Both behaviors can prevent us from enjoying our own company and finding joy in solitude. This avoidance of feeling lonely might stem from a belief that we are not good company for ourselves. But remember, loneliness is a normal human experience, and it can also be a valuable guide. It can signal a need for inner connection, a time to simply “be” without external stimulation. Sometimes, just embracing our own company can lead to incredible self-discoveries. We learn our likes, dislikes, values, and what we truly desire in relationships. Being content with ourselves doesn’t mean shutting others out. Instead, it’s about deepening our connection with our authentic self, nurturing relationships that feel safe, reciprocal, and fulfilling. Two Ways to look at Loneliness We tend to believe how loneliness can only be resolved by seeking more relationships. However, looking inward, being with oneself can also lighten the burden of loneliness and help you view your relationships in a better light. Thus, the key to managing loneliness is to find a balance between the relationship we have with ourselves, and with others. Here are some ways to manage loneliness by reaching out and looking within: Connecting With Yourself: Doing your favourite hobbies, exploring activities you enjoy, or pursuing interests by yourself Practicing mindfulness can help you turn inward and manage the negative emotions that come with feeling lonely Connecting With Others: Be a part of clubs, groups, or organizations Explore online communities Try volunteering for a social cause Feeling lonely doesn’t diminish your worth. It’s a shared human experience, a signal that something within needs attention. Embrace this feeling as an opportunity to explore both your inner and outer landscapes, building a richer, more fulfilling life in the process. You are not alone on this journey, and both self and social connection can play vital roles in finding your way back to belonging. Is your Loneliness holding you back? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and overcome your loneliness and lead a happy, fulfilling life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment About the Author This article was written by Parvathi Ganesan, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about loneliness and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Do
5 Ways To Manage Conflict In The Workplace
5 Ways To Manage Conflict In The Workplace Conflicts are a common occurrence in life, be it at home, in relationships, or at work. Conflict in the workplace can often feel like your entire career is crumbling down. But when they are handled constructively, they can be valuable learning opportunities and can even strengthen workplace connections. It’s true, not all conflicts are positive. Some can indeed damage professional relationships and spiral into heated arguments, hindering your career growth. That’s why equipping yourself with the knowledge and tools to manage workplace conflict effectively is crucial. By transforming clashes into productive discussions, you can navigate these situations with confidence. This article delves into five simple yet powerful strategies for managing workplace conflict and explores some common causes behind these disagreements. Make mindfulness a part of your organization with our Corporate Mindfulness Training Create a happy, emotionally resilient and healthy workplace. Book an Appointment What is a conflict? Conflict is a disagreement between individuals, and can disrupt your career path at work. Like fixing a broken step, resolving conflict effectively with understanding and solution-seeking can get you back on track and even strengthen your journey. However, remember, abuse involving power imbalance and deliberate harm is not conflict, and requires prioritizing your safety and seeking help from authorities and legal counsel. Common Reasons Why There Could Be A Conflict In The Workplace Conflict in the workplace can arise from a myriad of situations. Here are some common reasons why workplace conflicts occur. Communication Issues: Communication breakdowns are a breeding ground for conflict in the workplace. Unclear instructions, information silos, passive-aggressive communication, and feeling unseen all erode trust, damage morale, and ultimately lead to clashes. Remember, clear and open communication is the foundation for a healthy and productive work environment. Unclear Roles And Responsibilities: A lack of clarity in what your set of tasks or roles are at work can cause frustration, stress, and often lead to burnout. This can look like not receiving a clear set of instructions or outline of your tasks, or a mismatch between what you are expected to do, and what you are actually doing at work. Excess Workload: Feeling constantly swamped with tasks and lacking support breeds resentment, demotivation, and workplace conflict. It’s not just the workload, it’s the feeling of being set up to fail. Personality Mismatches: Everyone is different- you may have a different approach from your colleagues in handling tasks, communication, or in terms of work ethic. Thus, having clashing approaches or simply different personality styles can lead to ruptures and conflicts at work. Toxic Work Environment: Sometimes the larger work culture or environment can also create a ground for more conflict in the workplace. Workspaces where discrimination, harassment, inappropriate behavior, unethical and illegal practices are commonplace can cause frustration, burnout, and serious conflicts at work. 5 Ways To Manage Conflict In The Workplace Listen Actively and With Empathy: Try to imagine yourself in the shoes of the other person. What would they be feeling or experiencing right now? Have you felt that way before, how did you feel when something similar happened to you? This is how you build empathy and non-judgment. When you are in a conflict, actively listen to the other person by making eye contact, nodding, and summarizing what they are saying to ensure that there are no misunderstandings. This approach towards handling conflict in the workplace helps to turn your conflicts into productive conversations. Map Out Goals and Agenda: Setting a clear agenda or goal prior to the conversation to resolve the conflict can keep you focused on what you plan to learn and achieve from the conversation. This ensures that you don’t get swayed by overwhelming emotions, or cause the conversation to turn into a blame-game. It Is Okay To Take A Pause: Sometimes, it is possible for a conflict to turn into a heated debate. Notice how your body responds to this conversation or conflict you are having with someone. All conflicts can be confrontational, and mildly uncomfortable. However, it is always best to take a break from it when you are feeling overwhelmed. Taking time out to breathe and compose yourself for a few minutes can help you cool down and turn the conflict into a fruitful conversation. Use Open and Clear Communication: Try avoiding the blame game in workplace conflict. Opt for “I” statements like “I feel stressed by the workload” instead of accusatory “you” phrases. This fosters understanding and opens doors to solutions, unlike putting others on the defensive. Remember, it’s “us vs. the problem,” not “you vs. me.” Seek Common Ground: Try to view conflict as an opportunity to learn more about your colleague and as a way to find solutions that work for both of you. You can brainstorm for ideas to resolve the issue in hand by meeting in the middle. Conflicts are an inevitable part of building any relationship, including those at work. Since no two individuals or groups are identical, disagreements are bound to arise. However, it’s important to remember that workplace conflict isn’t about avoiding differences entirely, but rather using them as an opportunity to strengthen your team bonds. By strategically applying these tips, you can effectively manage conflict in the workplace and cultivate a more positive, productive environment. Remember, the art of conflict resolution isn’t about crowning a winner, but finding a “win-win” solution that benefits everyone involved. And if managing workplace conflict feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek help from your manager, HR, or a trusted colleague who can act as a neutral mediator. About the Author This article was written by Parvathi Ganesan, a Counselor & Psychologist at Inner Space. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about how you can practice mindfulness at work and/or other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Cultivating A Beginner’s Mind
Trauma In Relationships: The Hidden Barrier To Love And Connection
Trauma can create a lens through which you view the world as an unsafe, unpredictable, and unwelcoming place. This distorted view can extend to your relationships, making it challenging to find the safety and connection that others seem to find easily. Therefore, trauma can affect your relationships by creating a barrier between you and the opportunity of co-creating a healthy, peaceful, loving, intimate relationship. If you find yourself stuck in this cycle, learning about the effects of trauma in relationships is key towards breaking free and nurturing wholesome, fulfilling, intimate relationships. Signs Of Trauma In Relationships Take a critical look at your relationships, and ask yourself what might be standing between you and the fulfilling connection you seek. It could be difficulties managing emotions, struggles with self-esteem, challenges in creating and sustaining connections, or trouble expressing thoughts and feelings during conflicts with your partner. Here are some ways trauma impacts your relationships: Trauma Can Cause Trust Issues In Relationships: If you are someone who has experienced the pain of betrayal from a previous relationship, you may find it challenging to trust your current partner. You may feel doubtful of their actions, and look out for signs of betrayal, and constantly worry about how they may betray you. Every healthy relationship is built on trust. Therefore, past trauma can often result in trust issues in your relationships. Trauma Can Make You Avoid Emotional Intimacy With Your Partner: If you withhold affection and feel uncomfortable in intimate relationships, it could be a way to protect yourself from the discomfort that emotional intimacy brings. This could show up as ghosting someone you are dating, avoiding deep, emotional conversations, and expressing your true feelings for your partner. Distance takes away the safety and comfort that intimacy brings to a relationship, making it challenging for you to feel fulfilled and content in your relationships. Trauma Can Cause Separation Anxiety In Your Relationships: Experiencing some level of emotional or physical abandonment in childhood, or from a previous relationship, can build a deep-rooted fear of it happening again. This can look like constantly worrying that a partner may leave, and constantly asking for reassurance from your partner. You may feel like your partner is too good for you, and that they will find someone better. You may feel empty, anxious, and hopeless without your partner’s presence. This can make it challenging for you to be yourself in relationships, causing a lot stress and possible conflicts in them. Trauma Can Make It Challenging To Manage Your Emotions: Trauma can make you feel like you are stuck in a rollercoaster of emotions. This can look like having intense mood swings, lashing out at your partner, shutting down or feeling emotionally numb, zoned out during conflicts. These extreme highs and lows can impact the stability and results in a strained relationship. Trauma Can Affect Your Attachment Styles: If you have been in an unhealthy family dynamic during childhood, you may notice a pattern developing in your present relationships. This can look like having a pattern of ending relationships abruptly, or being too close or clingy with your partners, or choosing emotionally unavailable partners. Sometimes, these tendencies may go unnoticed, and you may feel you are simply unlucky in love. But, if you notice them, you may find the answer, and a way to heal your past trauma, work on your attachment styles, and break this cycle of unhealthy relationships. Trauma Can Take A Toll On Your Self-Worth And Self-Esteem: Having a low self-esteem from past trauma could cause you to turn to your partner to seek their constant validation and approval. You may feel like only their opinion matters, forgetting the importance of having your own. You may place your partner on a pedestal, and this can create an imbalance in the power dynamic in your relationship. Also, a low level of self esteem can also make you push away your partner as you believe, deep down, that you don’t deserve them. Trauma Can Make Communicating With Your Partner Difficult: Do you struggle to express what you truly want in your relationships? Do you go ahead with whatever your partner wants, without really looking into what you want? These could be signs of communication challenges in relationships. Struggling with how you express your emotional needs and wants in a relationship could stem from having experienced verbal or emotional trauma or abuse during childhood. A lack of healthy communication can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in your relationships. Trauma Can Make It Challenging To Think Of A Long-Term Relationship: Your past trauma can make you believe that you are undeserving of happiness and love. Relationships can feel unsafe, making it seem like all the pain of the past will resurface. Therefore, past trauma can make it challenging for you be in long-term relationships, and look into the future. Contact Us Counseling is a process that can help you learn more about yourself and your relationships. Our Counselors are trained to help you with a wide range of concerns. If you are interested in scheduling an appointment with us, please click the link below. Book an Appointment Healing From Trauma In Relationships Through Therapy Trauma doesn’t make you a bad person-regardless of what your actions, thoughts, or even your partner may tell you. When trauma happens, your mind and body quickly get to finding ways to protect you by whatever means possible. But why? Your mind and body does this to protect you from the trauma happening again. Thus, all of the behaviours you label as “bad” are, in fact, ways your body deemed okay as a response to what happened in the past. So, your tendency to shut down during arguments can be seen as a protective mechanism to save you from feeling attacked, hurt, or abandoned as you felt in the past. But, these protective mechanisms can become counterproductive over time. These approaches to protect yourself can hold you back from experiencing true intimacy, which comes from being open, curious, and vulnerable with
An Act of Kindness: Mindfulness Exercise
In the hustle and bustle of your daily life, do you find yourself always on the run? Constantly moving from one place to another or from one task to another? What are the kind of things that you pay attention to? Things to be done, the breaking news on television and your phone amongst many things. In this flurry of experiences, when was the last time you stopped to notice an act of kindness? Research does indicate that humans have a tendency to pay attention to the negative as opposed to the positive. Negative acts are more obvious to the eye than positive acts. The good news is, you can choose to consciously bring your attention to the things you want to notice. And you can begin by choosing to notice kindness in the world around you. Want To Start Practicing Mindfulness Meditation? Mindfulness is a beautiful practice that helps us become rooted in life. It involves getting our minds back to the present and paying attention to the life that is unfolding right now within and around us. Start Here Mindfulness Exercise: Noticing Acts of Kindness “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain It can sometimes feel like joy and kindness don’t exist in the world anymore but the truth is, it is a matter of paying attention and noticing these moments. If you were ever a part of the girls guide or boys scout camp in school; you would remember the ‘one good deed a day’ policy. In this exercise you need to just notice the act of kindness which you may observe or experience in your day to day life. Here are some examples: A smile of acknowledgment when someone sees you Your watchman opening the door for you Your household helper doing work to make your home more comfortable Someone who was polite to you and said – a please, a thank you, a sorry, a forgive me or an excuse me Someone who texted /called/emailed you a joke or an inspiring read or just a random ‘how are you’ message These are just a few examples – and we are sure there must be plenty more that you’ll have an opportunity to observe throughout your day. Sometimes we are too busy just looking at the ground that we fail to see the blue skies above our head. At the end of the day, we urge you to introspect on and notice each act of kindness that you witnessed and allow yourself to take it in! About the Author This article was written by Counselors & Mindfulness Trainers at Inner Space. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about mindfulness and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs What Is Meditation? How To Use Mindfulness During Stressful Situations Cultivating A Beginner’s Mind
How You Can Sleep Better Using Mindfulness
Since sleep is such an integral part of our well-being, let’s explore some of the reasons for ever growing sleep difficulties and how you can use mindfulness to sleep better. A sleep disturbance is rarely ever a standalone problem. If you don’t get much sleep especially because you tend to start getting many many thoughts the moment you lie down in bed, then you are certainly not alone. In fact you have loads of company. The reason why this tends to happen is hypervigilance. Hypervigilance: Why we don’t feel rested When you worry, your body is not at rest, it cannot be. It feels like it is facing a threat and it is preparing for that threat. The brain does not always understand with clarity the difference between real and imagined threat. It cannot allow you to sleep in the face of a threat (it is simply protecting you). Moreover if you are used to worrying, it also becomes a well rehearsed brain pattern and the vigilance becomes natural. All of this affects you in the day time as well. But at night when you suddenly decide to switch off this brain activity, you realize your brain is still in the mode of preparing for threat and does not want to calm down and co-operate. Here Is How You Can Use Mindfulness To Sleep Better Here are some mindfulness practices and tips that can help you sleep better. 1. Foundations of a restful night begin in the day: How you live through your day and arrive at your night has a lot to do with how well you sleep. When you are constantly repeating plans, worrying about deadlines and rechecking things to do, you are getting excessively vigilant. Such an overwhelmed brain may find it difficult to settle down. Start being mindful during the day. Pay attention to the activities you are doing. Try to allow thoughts of future and worry to simply come and leave as you refocus on the present. 2. Prepare for the night: Lower the volume of your TV, dim the lights, and allow the gentle darkness of the night to sink into your system. Invite yourself to get slower as night approaches. Move slowly, eat less, and perhaps take a warm mindful bath. All of this gently signals the brain that it can let go of the inertia of a busy packed day and the worries of the next day. 3. Learn to like rest: This is a very important one. While most of us crave rest, few of us really like it. We fill up potential rest time surfing the internet, on social media,TV, playing on the phone – all of which are stimulating, not restful. Maybe I will elaborate on this in another post soon. But for now, try to ask yourself and your body what you really need at this moment – a different stimulation or rest. Even if you don’t feel like sleeping, simply close your eyes and focus on a few breaths. Sometimes if you are feeling very wound up, inhaling from your nose and exhaling gently from your mouth like a sigh may help too. 4. Say a prayer of gratitude to the universe: The idea behind this is not to make up or pretend to like your day even if it was tough. But maybe you can bring to mind anything at all that went well. Some tasty food, a smile exchange, or just that there is bed now on which you can rest. For a few moments, simply close your eyes and feel grateful for these. 5. Try not to worry about not getting sleep: Remember worrying makes you more vigilant and as a result, the brain refuses to switch off even more. Try and bring an attitude of acceptance to sleeplessness. This is what it is today. I feel sleepless now. Combine this with the next step. 6. Meditate lying down: Create an intention of just resting in the present, not necessarily of sleeping. Lie down flat on your back. Slowly start noticing each breath. Notice it entering the nostrils and going right within the body. Notice the beginning, the middle and the end of inhalation. Then notice the beginning, middle and end of exhalation. Slowly allow the breath to become soft going all through the body. Feel the entire body breathing slowly and gently with no expectation of sleep. Whether you get sleep or not you will definitely feel deeply rested. As you start incorporating these mindful practices of sleeping into your schedule, slowly your tendency to worry and to be overly vigilant will go down. The brain will learn the new changes and sleep will improve. Wish you a great and mindful ‘Get Better Sleep’ month! Struggling with a good sleep can be stressful. Get the support you need to live a happier, healthier life with our online Counseling services. Book an Appointment About the Author This article was written by Counselors & Mindfulness Trainers at Inner Space. Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know about any mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Are You Getting Enough Sleep? Therapy For Anxiety Therapy For Depression
