I often come across parents of nuclear families these days that are juggling between work, home, and baby- sitters. They constantly ponder about the fact that their children would be raised better in the hands of their family members or grandparents versus a baby- sitter, or a care- taker. So are we blaming the changing …
If you are easily upset, angry or worried, chances are that you often try to control your emotions but they just burst forth, drenching and even drowning you in their strong gush. We all have those moments when we feel like we just cannot deal with our feelings and life seems just too much to …
RECOGNIZING YOUR TRIGGERS : A TECHNIQUE TO CONTROL ANGER Read More »
If you find yourself getting angry and irritated easily and are ready to ‘give it back’ most of the time, you are also probably quite bottled up inside. Few people seem to understand you and most brand you as an ‘angry teen’. You may have tried ‘controlling your anger’ and ‘being less angry’ but may not have succeeded to your satisfaction (and those of others). Often, what we do to manage aggression is try “not to get angry” even when we are actually angered. Think about it. It’s like mom is repeatedly saying something to you, you’re fuming within but try to “be calm” and mask your anger. No wonder then that you end up snapping or yelling at her despite not wanting to. What we actually doing here is ‘controlling’ or attempting to suppress our anger. It’s like trying to shut an overstuffed suitcase. Suppression is never healthy, it only breeds sadness, frustration and makes us feel that the people around us are unfair.
Why is it Important to Understand Feelings ? Many of us often wonder how to make our relationships more harmonious. We probably even zero-in on communication in a relationship as one key aspect to be worked upon. However, we are often unclear as to what in communication we need to improve. Sadia Saeed, in a lucid write-up on …
Some of us in our teens are ‘cool under pressure’, ‘cool as a cucumber’ or ‘chilled out’. Some of us are hot-tempered, short-tempered or easily angered. If you are one of those who identify with the second set of descriptors, life could get a tad bit difficult. Losing one’s cool is never a pleasant feeling. You may get persistently described as short-tempered, stubborn and argumentative. Moreover, over a period of time, others almost stop bothering to find out why you are angry and what has hurt you. Its almost like, ‘this chap/girl is forever angry so forget it.’ At such a time it may start to feel like people are just mocking you or they just don’t care….and wait, its not over yet.
Become the person that you want to be…one day at a time.
We all have an image of our ideal self, the kind of human being we would like to be, of the kind of life we would like to live. But more often than not, reality has a different plan for us. No matter how much we want to be the tranquil, equanimous, all-accepting, ever-blissful Buddha, somehow we end up being the angry, frustrated and anxious poor Joe instead.
At times that’s all you need to do.
Pause is a way of nature, it’s part of the natural flow of life. After every breath you take in and let out – you pause, after every word you say you pause. In fact everything that seems like a seamless continuation is actually filled with numerous small pauses, coming together harmoniously to make us feel that everything is in continuity. The reel of a film has individual shots, each shot separate from the other. Our very cells have spaces – pauses – between them. Have u ever felt the need for this pause, this space?
Most parents seek guidance on how they can change the negative behavior of their children and encourage more positive behavior. We have held two workshops at Inner Space focusing on behavior modification addressing these concerns. Behavior modification is the process applied to enable the child and parents to methodically bring about the required changes. It involves setting up rules of actions and consequent positive or negative repercussions. Positive behavior gets rewards while negative behavior gets no rewards.
This is also what we often do in life naturally. However, more often than not we do it inconsistently.
Those of us who have children who are irritable and easily angered probably wonder why they are so short-tempered, why they snap back for everything we say and just WHY they are so aggressive. Most of the reasons we manage to think about center around stubbornness, immaturity, peer pressure, deriving pleasure out of rebellion and an irresponsible approach to life. Naturally, our approach towards correcting such behaviors stem from these reasons. We chide our children, give them repeated instructions and make repeated attempts to get them to obey and conform. However, if you have noticed, these may not have worked. You may see that your child still continues to defy and disobey. In fact, most of you may notice that the more you try to correct your child, the more defiant and oppositional your child becomes.
This is a small story, holding a big message.. Hope It Inspires You 🙂
A Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.
He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?”
’50gms!’….. ‘100gms!’ …..’125gms’ …the students answered.
“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” said the professor, “but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”
‘Nothing’ …the students said.
‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the professor asked.
‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one student.
“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!” … Ventured another student & all the students laughed
“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” Asked the
professor.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path
