In the end of this series of looking within, I want to talk about an unusual ally that aids you to look within yourself. In fact forces you to do so. –Pain. As I work with people and also with myself, I am more and more convinced that pain is actually a friend. Unless we are pained, helpless, sorrowful, we never really question or look for answers from life.
If you find yourself getting angry and irritated easily and are ready to ‘give it back’ most of the time, you are also probably quite bottled up inside. Few people seem to understand you and most brand you as an ‘angry teen’. You may have tried ‘controlling your anger’ and ‘being less angry’ but may not have succeeded to your satisfaction (and those of others). Often, what we do to manage aggression is try “not to get angry” even when we are actually angered. Think about it. It’s like mom is repeatedly saying something to you, you’re fuming within but try to “be calm” and mask your anger. No wonder then that you end up snapping or yelling at her despite not wanting to. What we actually doing here is ‘controlling’ or attempting to suppress our anger. It’s like trying to shut an overstuffed suitcase. Suppression is never healthy, it only breeds sadness, frustration and makes us feel that the people around us are unfair.
Desensitization to aggression is a much discussed issue. It refers to a psychological state where the impact of aggression fails to rub off on the mind, when we are “not affected” when we watch scenes of violence. While this could be great news for a good night’s sleep, experiencing it repeatedly could slowly begin to erode empathy out of our systems when such a situation occurs in real life.
2nd April 2011, Saturday night. India lifted the cricket world cup …and we were in a frenzy of celebration! It was a “dream come true” moment for team India and many of us across the country. An utterly delicious icing to the cake….the cake being our win over Pakistan. MS Dhoni made a particularly interesting comment about cricket fans’ expectations after their win against Australia in the quarter finals – “we don’t care about the finals, just win the SEMI-FINALS!!”. Why not? Ind/Pak clashes are always mouth-watering….probably even more than the match where we actually bagged the cup. Let us think about this…which match instantly stirred up a bigger adrenaline rush in us and meant sheer excitement? Ind-Pak or Ind-Sri Lanka? For most of us, the answer would be the former. Why so?