A lot of people that I have met recently seem to be caught in the classic rescuer complex. They live for others, their happiness, their needs, their wishes – the self is nowhere in the picture. You live for your parents, your spouse, your children, the community, even pets – absolutely anything that is external could be a worthy candidate. What about yourself, aren’t you worthy of your own love?
We suffer for stressful events that occur in our own lives and probably in the lives of those whom we love. However, can we also suffer intensely for painful events that occur in the lives of unknown people living miles away from us? The answer, though unexpected, is a definite yes.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path