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self esteem

FINDING YOUR STRENGTHS – HOW TO START?

Everyone wants to know what their strengths are – what they are good at, what situations they can pull-off well and what about them helps them cope better with life.

‘Strengths’ of any person are unique. Even if two people have the same strength, for example, good communication skills, the way each person’s communication skills show up in life would be very very different.

Sometimes, it is this unique nature of strengths that makes it difficult for you to truly identify what your strengths are. You probably think – ‘God, he’s so effective with customers’, or, ‘She’s so good with conversation!’ when you notice others.

self growth

JUST FOR TODAY – BEGINNING THE PROCESS OF SELF GROWTH

Become the person that you want to be…one day at a time.

We all have an image of our ideal self, the kind of human being we would like to be, of the kind of life we would like to live. But more often than not, reality has a different plan for us. No matter how much we want to be the tranquil, equanimous, all-accepting, ever-blissful Buddha, somehow we end up being the angry, frustrated and anxious poor Joe instead.

Obsessive Perfectionism

Dealing With Obsessive Perfectionism

‘I strive to be perfect!! Well, not always; but there are a few areas where I seek perfection.’ Such areas could be studies, one’s appearance or work related projects. Perfectionism in one or more areas is a trait some of us identify with. We want a perfect state of mind before we begin work and a smooth, perfect route to task completion. The question I want to raise here is – Does the quest for perfection help or hurt? You might say, “both”.

My next question would be, “does it hurt more than it helps?” Wait a minute, you don’t have to answer me immediately.
I’d like you to take a few minutes though and think about this before you continue reading. It is an important question for you.

art

EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITY CLASSES FOR CHILDREN: HEALTHY OR UNHEALTHY?

A good number of us watch our children run from one tuition class to another. Then they have school homework, tuition homework, school tests and tuition tests to take care of. Moreover, children today also go to a number of extracurricular or activity classes. They sure learn how to multitask early on! Parents are divided in their opinion of this trend. While some of us feel it is the order of the day, some others think it disturbs the natural experience of ‘childhood’. I wanted to share with you some questions which if you ask yourselves may help to you gain more clarity as to whether a particular extra class is healthy or unhealthy for the child’s development.

daydreaming

EXCESSIVE DAYDREAMING

Your day starts with a mild stir. A stir nowhere else but in your mind. As you go about your daily chores, you feel like your mind is only partially involved. A simultaneous series of thoughts are on too. Your imagination is rolling and how! You imagine yourself giving a stage performance, that boy you like finally making conversation with you, you topping in class or bagging that coveted project….. you are daydreaming. Why are we discussing this? Isn’t daydreaming one pleasant escapade that is safe? Oh yes, it is! However, there are some of us who daydream excessively, so much so that our schedules are delayed or disrupted or our head begins to feel heavy. We probably end up underachieving or simply being dissatisfied with this almost compulsive tendency…yet, it has its own rewards. Let’s understand this better.

Self esteem

NURTURING YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

‘Self-esteem’ is, to put it simply, what an individual thinks of himself/ herself. Also known as ‘self-confidence’, self-esteem is a key determinant of how we feel about ourselves and the world. It drives our actions and choices and pretty much establishes how we live our lives. Think about that goal you’ve been longing to achieve but haven’t tried to so far. There’s something about that goal which is repulsive…or intimidating. The overt thought is “I want this and don’t want it at the same time.” In several cases, the underlying thought is, “what if I am not able to achieve it??” This ‘what if?’ is so threatening that we choose to ‘camp’ and to stop pursuing that goal.

Jealousy

DEALING WITH JEALOUSY IN FRIENDSHIP

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both

Seeds of Self Esteem

THE SEEDS OF SELF ESTEEM – ‘INITIATIVE VERSUS GUILT’

‘Initiative versus Guilt’ is one of the eight stages of psychosocial development proposed by pioneering psychoanalyst Erik Erikson (1902 – 1994). Each of the stages described by Erikson constitute a milestone in personality development, wherein the child is faced with a primary psychological issue / theme/ conflict that he/she needs to resolve satisfactorily for healthy development of the personality. For eg., the conflict faced by the child in its first year is, “ Is the world a good and safe place to live in?” and in its second year is, “Am I capable of controlling my environment?”

Rescue

RESCUING YOU RESCUES ME

A lot of people that I have met recently seem to be caught in the classic rescuer complex. They live for others, their happiness, their needs, their wishes – the self is nowhere in the picture. You live for your parents, your spouse, your children, the community, even pets – absolutely anything that is external could be a worthy candidate. What about yourself, aren’t you worthy of your own love?

The Art of Listening

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