At times, you just know that this is where you belong, with your own close knit circle of like-minded friends.
However, have you ever found yourself in a group of friends wondering you don’t really belong in here? It might have felt like you have to try so hard fitting in with them.
Often, when we feel overwhelmed in our day to day lives, we wish to share our feelings, thoughts and perspectives with people who are part of our lives. We share these for several reasons – to feel validated, to find an emotional release, to ‘sort things out’ as we speak, and so on. Underlying many of these reasons is the need to be understood. However, sometimes it feels like they have misunderstood us, or have not completely understood. The feeling of being constantly misunderstood by people close to us can deeply impact us.
Think about the guy who checks his facebook, twitter and instagram accounts countless times in a day, to remain “updated”; or the girl who attends 3 parties on a Saturday night so that she doesn’t miss out on the awesome time that everyone else will have.
Today, a lot of people find themselves flitting from one event to the other, picking one novel opportunity after the other, not wanting to miss out on anything.
Why don’t you ever listen?
You just don’t understand me!
Why are you always late?
You must study or you won’t score well
You are of no help at all!
You are so insensitive, you just don’t care, you don’t love me!
Are these statements you have faced at one time or the other? How did it make you feel? How did you respond to it? Did it make you want to listen and cooperate? Or did it feel like an accusation?
Competition. A word that fuels energy, action, persistence….nervousness, impulsivity…selfishness, anger & conflict? Disruption of Relationships? Or in some cases, intense turmoil to a person’s psyche?
Well, yes. Yes to all these questions.
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path
