Inner Space

mindfulness

How to Deal with anger

Dealing with Anger Mindfully

Have you ever gotten angry at your parents for not letting you go out with your friends? Or on your friends itself, for not listening to you? You are not alone! Being angry is natural and we all experience it at some point. It can be a frustrating experience but the good news is you can deal with anger and gain some control over it with love and compassion. Being mindful and kind towards yourself is one of the most important steps to dealing with anger. Shifting focus mindfully, inwards and away from the person or situation, allows you to let go of the constant flood of thoughts that the mind creates.  To help you deal with anger mindfully, there are a set of steps you can follow, so you can shift focus, mindfully regulate this anger, calm down and feel more in control. This activity given below can also be remembered as the PNAS practice Read also: Online Therapy for Anxiety Activity To Deal With Anger Mindfully Step 1: Pause When you feel anger, recognize your habitual pattern of dealing with it. Do you want to shut down or do you overthink or you want to react?  Instead of giving in to your habitual tendency, try to pause. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself and your body how you are feeling. Let the answer come from within you. Step 2: Name it You already have a name for your emotion. Tell yourself, ‘I am angry now. I will simply spend some time knowing my anger.’  Promise yourself that you will decide what to do with the person or situation later. For now, you will simply attend to this feeling of anger.  Step 3: Accept it “You are angry” –is the reality of the present moment. It is okay to feel angry for now.  There is no question about whether you should or should not feel angry. Instead, just simply accepting it will suffice. Maybe you can say to yourself, ‘I am angry now, and it is okay.’ Step 4: Support it Remind yourself that you need your own affection and support now. Do a quick body scan. Notice where you might feel anger in your body.  Your jaws may feel tight or you may feel heat on your face or elsewhere in the body. Anger is usually a high-energy emotion so you may feel like moving to express anger. Accept all the sensations in the body completely. Now that you can sense what the body is going through, you can actively support it. Support means allowing the body to feel the anger and helping it through a difficult time. It does not mean trying to stop being angry. Related Read: Online Meditation Course: 8 Weeks Mindfulness Meditation Begin A Practice Of Self-Awareness & Well-Being With Our Free E-Book ‘First Few Steps To Mindfulness’​ Click Here Frequently Asked Questions How can anger impact my daily life? While anger is a normal healthy emotion, it can damage many areas of your life if you experience and express anger in an unhealthy way. Anger can impair social connections, your professional life, and many other areas of your life as it can cause strained relationships and misunderstandings.  Can I eliminate anger from my life? Anger is an emotion that is essential for your survival, like the positive emotions of happiness and joy. The goal shouldn’t be to eliminate anger, but to create space for it and be comfortable with the experience of anger, and to find ways to manage it in a healthy way.  When should I seek professional help for my anger issues? If you feel like your anger is impacting many areas of your life, and is causing issues in your relationships, and affecting your well-being, it is best to consult a mental health professional like a psychologist/ counselor to understand the concern and learn ways to manage anger.  About the Author This article was written by Simran Sharma, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling.  Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about managing anger and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Coping With Anxiety Using Mindfulness How To Practice Mindfulness Meditation? Benefits Of Mindfulness

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Recognising Our Feelings

Recognising Our Feelings

What Does it Mean to ‘Feel’? Our feelings are responsible for making sense of our experiences in life. They help us survive, form and maintain connections with those around us. They are also one of the important factors in motivating us to do things. Since ‘feelings’ have such an important role in understanding our conscious experiences, it is vastly beneficial for us to be Recognising Our Feelings. If I ask you right now “how do you feel?”, you’ll probably say “I am feeling… happy, sad, angry, etc”. Sometimes you may take a minute to observe or recognise how you are feeling about something. If you are still unable to point out an exact feeling towards something, you may finally say “I am feeling okay”. But the real question is, ‘What Does it Mean to Feel “OKAY”?’ Our body tells us what we are feeling through sensations. For example, a hollowness in the stomach could mean you are feeling anxious, or if your face is flushed, it could be because you are feeling embarrassed.  There may not always be clear indicators to your feelings, like a ‘heaviness’ in the chest or a ‘weakness’ in the knees. Yet, it is beneficial to recognise our feelings. Simply recognising our feelings and naming our emotions can give us a sense of relief and clarity. Recognising our feelings can sometimes be a bit of a task, but there are methods to help you get there. Let’s take the help of the checklist down below. Read the list of emotions below and ask yourself patiently which feeling you are most likely experiencing now. The word ‘now’ is key. Browse Our Mindfulness Programs Click here   Pleasant Feelings Glad Joyful Appreciated Satisfied Loved Enthusiastic Cheerful Grateful Relaxed Peaceful Unpleasant Feelings Ashamed Irritated Hurt Lonely Unloved Angry Confused Embarrassed Jealous Disappointed Download this Activity about the author share this blog!

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manage hypertension with mindfulness

Manage Hypertension with Mindfulness

On World Hypertension day, here is our sharing on how stress leads to hypertension and what you can do on a daily basis to directly help the body become less stressed and manage hypertension with mindfulness. We are no strangers to hearing of several young people going through heart ailments and heart attacks due to stress. One in five young adults in India has high blood pressure, according to research presented at the 70th Annual Conference of the Cardiological Society of India (CSI) in 2018. We are often asked to ‘work on our stress’ in order to reduce or manage hypertension. Only, we are not sure how to do this and that is where this article can help. Two things are needed in order to manage bodily stress successfully: An understanding of how exactly stress impacts our body Learning to help our body de-stress Let’s look at both these points one by one. Learning about the  “Window of Tolerance” given by Dan Siegel will help us understand how prolonged stress causes and sustains hypertension. Understanding The Impact Of Stress In The Body The Optimal Arousal Zone This is how the body is, in a state of ‘rest and digest’, or, when it is not in a stressed state.  When we are in the Optimal Arousal Zone We are able to carry out day to day functioning without feeling extreme stress of any kind. Changes in the mood and emotions feel normal. Challenges feel manageable. Relaxing from time to time feels easy and natural. We are able to focus and be grounded. We are able to make decisions with proper reasoning. Practice Mindfulness Through Our Free Mindfulness Videos Click Here The Hyperarousal Zone: Leading To Hypertension Our busy lifestyle and the increase in everyday stress easily pushes us from the Optimal Arousal Zone to the Hyperarousal Zone. The hyperarousal zone involves increased alertness, a sense of urgency, reduced blood flow to the internal organs (like the digestive and reproductive systems) and more blood flow to the limbs. Basically, this is the body preparing to deal with the immediate stress by fighting it or escaping it.  The hyperarousal state is actually designed for us and is healthy if after a short while we return to the optimal zone. However, very often, many of us remain stuck in the hyperarousal zone for long periods of time. As a result, our body gets the message that functioning in the hyperarousal zone is a normal way to be. In our daily life, this can manifest as- Feeling alert and on guard Increase in palpitations and hyperactivity High blood pressure Low tolerance for changes Increase in aggression and reactivity Hypertension even for small triggers  Racing thoughts  Digestive difficulties An inability to rest and relax even when there is no immediate stressor.  The Hypoarousal Zone Sometimes, persistent stress can send the physiology into a state that’s the polar opposite of what we saw above. Contrary to the hyperarousal state, the hypoarousal state is a state of shut down and numbness. Functioning in hypoarousal zone can look like- Lack of energy Feeling of constant exhaustion Numbness Feeling depressed Low motivation Feeling frozen, dull or leaden Manage Hypertension With Mindfulness: Learning To Return To The Optimal Arousal Zone Mindfulness and grounding practices can greatly help in managing symptoms of stress.  While it’s easy for the mind and body to slip into stress mode, you can intervene by recognizing that the body has now become stressed and helping it return to baseline.  Here is a starting point to return to baseline when your mind and body are worked up, or, in the hyperarousal zone. Learn More: Online Meditation Course: 8 Weeks Mindfulness Meditation Recognize Consciously recognize when you are functioning in the hyperarousal zone. When you catch the body in the moment, you have the opportunity to intervene and change this cycle. Otherwise, it is simply continuing on autopilot, going on and on. Common cues of the hyperarousal state are – Stiffness in the head/neck Jaws are clenched Breath is shallow/constricted. Taking a deep breath feels like you’re having to push the air in. Stomach is sucked in and tight. Body feels uptight rather than relaxed Mind is racing Body and mind feel restless. Pause Take a pause for a few minutes when you recognize this. Pause whatever you are doing so that you can pay attention to yourself, for a bit. Regulate There are several ways to regulate the body and come back to a state of rest. Conscious Relaxation – check in with the body. Just hang in with the body, noticing it, for a few moments. You will recognize what areas are holding tension. As you breathe out, let any tense muscles relax. The same areas described under “a. Recognize” are the parts you might want to open up and relax. Grounding – Grounding is a practice that helps us feel centered and calm. Once you’ve checked in with the body and let it relax, spend some time noticing the connection between the seat of the body and the chair or ground. Notice the touch of the feet on the floor. Noticing this immediately grounds and settles the body. Don’t struggle hard to focus. Just notice whatever naturally comes into your awareness as you breathe. Here is a grounding practice guided by Sadia Saeed  to help you calm down and feel more centered. (This video is from a series of videos to help with Trauma and Overwhelm. However, the grounding practice is just as helpful for all stressed states. Skip to 4.17 to go directly to the practice)- Grounding & Creating Support – Exercise 1/5 | Trauma & Emotional Overwhelm Series- By Sadia Saeed – YouTube Mindful breathing – Mindful breathing simply means breathing with awareness. Taking even a few breaths while being fully aware of the inhalations and exhalations can greatly help to calm the body. In addition,  breathing into the diaphragm helps to open and destress the body further. Here is a link to

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group session

The Calm Jar: An Effective Mindfulness Tool To Help Children Manage Stress

Often children find it difficult to manage the flood of thoughts and emotions that they experience while coping with a difficult situation or even while disengaging from a stressful day. They may end up throwing temper tantrums, withdraw socially, lose focus, cry easily or engage in other such venting behaviours. Managing these behaviours can sometimes get tricky for the parents. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was an easier way for children to learn to calm themselves and at the same time understand how their mind and body feel and react during stressful times? In my experience of working with children, using a calm jar serves both the purposes. I have noticed that children who find it difficult to sit and follow through any other activities find it easy to use a calm jar. It is interactive, interesting, playful and at the same time soothing. Hence this activity is a very important one in our Breathing Happiness Program, which helps children develop mindfulness and focus. Regular use of the calm jar gives children a clearer understanding of how their inner weather is and at the same time helps calm it down. With practice, their nervous system learns to rest even in stressful situations creating more space for the children to respond to a situation rather than act on an impulse and react. Here is how to make and use one for your child! Take a transparent, spill proof container. Add half cup warm water to the container. Add 3 spoons of transparent glue and half a packet of loose glitter of any colour of your choice. Stir it well and fill the remaining container with room temperature water. The Calm Jar is ready to use! How To Use It? Introduce the calm jar to your child by saying the following- This jar works just like our mind and body. When we feel stressed we find it difficult to stay calm. It feels like some storm has started in our mind and body. Let’s see what happens when we shake this jar up? (Let your child observe the movement of glitter and report what they see) Glitter is just like the feelings and thoughts that we get when we are feeling upset or stressed. It moves all around and makes it difficult to see through the water. It is important to let the jar rest for the glitter to settle down. Let us see how we feel when we observe the glitter settle down as we let the jar rest at one place. (Observe the glitter settling slowly. Observing the glitter calm down helps children as well as adults calm down physiologically.) We just learnt how to calm down by observing the glitter jar! Just like this calm glitter jar, we can also clearly understand how we are feeling if we take some time to calm down. Just like some glitter settled fast and some took more time we can also let our feelings and thoughts take as much time as they need. You can start practicing with your child by using this Calm Jar 1 or 2 times a day just to get more centered. Of course you can make it your go to support system whenever your kid is feeling overwhelmed. Even if your child does not cooperate, you can use it when you are feeling stressed. It’s a wonderful tool for adults to get centered too. You can follow it up by a small meditation practice. When your children see you using it, they will feel a little more comfortable to go to the calm Jar themselves too. Happy calming down! If you have any questions about the calm Jar or about practicing mindfulness yourself or with your children, do write to us in the comment section below or on our email. We are always happy to help! About the author share this blog! OverIndulgent Parenting: Are You Giving Your Child Too Much? “We give him everything but he does not listen to… Read More Inner Space TeamJanuary 31, 2015 PRESERVING THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP As parents, we are naturally concerned about our children. We… Read More Inner Space TeamDecember 4, 2011 TELLING IT RIGHT – TIPS FOR COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN Imagine a scenario, where you are an athlete, a runner… Read More Sadia SaeedApril 18, 2011

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mindful walking for children & teenagers

Dealing with Restlessness in Children through Walking Meditation

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our children could experience full joy while eating an ice-cream or while doing an activity they love, instead of burning out, asking for more or feeling bored? In this time of information overload and instant gratification children end up losing touch with their own mind and body. Multitasking and the expectation to take in more and more information automatically trains their neural energy and attention to shift all the time. This in turn affects their ability to pay attention to what they are doing or even completely and openly experience what they are feeling. How Would Walking Meditation Help Your Child? Walking meditation helps children feel grounded. It connects them to the present by connecting them to earth that is always present and supportive under their feet. It also regulates their energy and helps improve their ability to pay attention in the present. Along with this, it helps children to calm themselves and also manage distractions and restlessness. A new friendship with joy and relaxation develops. Walking meditation can be a good way to introduce the concept of mindfulness to children. What is Walking Meditation? It is a practice of walking slower than usual and breaking the automatic habit of walking without paying much attention. Walking involves different movements like lifting, swinging, placing foot on the ground and shifting weight to lift the other leg. The practice is to completely try and focus on each aspect of walking. It can be practiced anytime and anywhere. Having more sensations to focus on due to body movement makes it an easier practice than sitting meditation. How to do Walking Meditation with your Child? A good way is for you to start doing the practice with your child. That way you stay in touch with the feelings and sensations your child is feeling. Below are the instructions that you can use to practice Walking Meditation along with your child- Keep your eyes open while doing the practice. Keep your gaze on the ground in front of you. If at any time you get distracted and your attention moves away, very gently bring it back to the practice. Stand with both the feet flat on the ground. Concentrate on your legs and see if you are able to balance your body properly.If weight is more on one of the legs adjust it until you feel stable. Now pay full attention to how the ground feels under your feet. Does it feel warm, cold, rough , smooth? Observe this feeling for 30 seconds. (Children can notice and keep their experience to themselves. If the child is feeling restless you can ask the child to verbally report the feeling e.g using one word he or she can report, cool, hard, warm, smooth etc.) Begin by slowly lifting one leg off the ground. Notice how the leg feels as it is being lifted off the ground. Now gently swing your leg ahead and place your heel or toe on the ground. Notice the entire action of swinging and placing your foot on the ground. While paying full attention to the to the foot on the ground, shift your weight to the front foot and lift the foot that is behind. Notice the shifting of the weight and the movement. Now the same process begins with the other foot. Remember the idea is not to do it in any particular way, the idea is to notice the entire experience by noticing each small movement. Start with practicing for 5 minutes and increase the practice time as per comfort. About the author Want To Introduce the Practice of Mindfulness In your Child’s Life? Get In Touch With Us share this blog! Behavior Problems in Children – A Sign of Hidden Low Self Esteem? When you notice that your child is short tempered, stubborn,… Read More Inner Space TeamAugust 12, 2013 Disciplining Children with Compassion Do you have a young child, maybe below 7 years… Read More Inner Space TeamApril 11, 2013 CONSISTENCY IN PARENTING : AN ASPECT OF BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION Most parents seek guidance on how they can change the… Read More Inner Space TeamFebruary 28, 2012 TELLING IT RIGHT – TIPS FOR COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN Imagine a scenario, where you are an athlete, a runner… Read More Sadia SaeedApril 18, 2011

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offline meditation retreat on self compassion

Metta: The Practice of Compassion

Many of us encounter moments in life where forgiveness feels impossible. We might hold onto contempt or resentment towards someone, struggling to understand their actions and wondering, “Why are they this way?” These feelings can leave us feeling blocked, and incapable of extending kindness or love. Maybe it’s a partner resistant to change, or someone from the past who deeply hurt you – whoever it is, opening your heart to them, let alone forgiving them, seems impossible. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Centuries ago, the Buddha introduced a core Buddhist concept called metta, which translates to “unconditional loving-kindness.” In essence, metta is about cultivating kindness towards oneself and all living beings. This practice extends kindness and compassion even to those we find difficult, dislike, or even hate. It’s about moving beyond negative emotions and actively wishing well-being of others, even if they haven’t earned it in our eyes. Metta offers a path to break free from the cycle of negativity and cultivate a more peaceful and compassionate way of being. What is the Metta Practice? The Metta practice involves cultivating kindness and compassion, both for yourself and others, mindfully and intentionally. It builds upon mindfulness, where you learn to accept the present moment without judgment. Through Metta, you extend this acceptance to others, even those you find difficult. This unconditional acceptance isn’t always easy. However, by embodying compassion through Metta, you begin to recognize that everyone, like yourself, experiences suffering. This realization can be a powerful tool for breaking free from negativity and fostering a more peaceful and understanding way of being. Getting Started with Metta The beauty of Metta lies in its simplicity. You can begin your practice with a guided Metta meditation by Sadia Saeed, founder of Inner Space. By cultivating kindness and compassion, not just towards others but also towards ourselves (often referred to as self-compassion), Metta allows us to move beyond blame and victimhood. It’s a recognition that everyone experiences suffering, ourselves included. This understanding fosters a sense of empathy and allows us to extend kindness even to those who have caused us pain. After all, as the saying goes, we can’t pour from an empty cup. To offer kindness to others, we must first learn to be kind to ourselves. What Are The Benefits of The Metta Practice? There are numerous benefits of doing a daily metta practice. You can feel the benefits of this practice on a both personal and interpersonal level. Here is a breakdown of some of the main benefits: Increased self-compassion: By directing loving-kindness towards yourself, you can cultivate a more positive and accepting self-image, reducing self-criticism and negativity. Reduced stress and anxiety: Metta meditation promotes feelings of peace and goodwill, which can help counteract feelings of stress and anxiety. Improved emotional well-being: By fostering positive emotions like joy, gratitude, and love, metta meditation can contribute to a more positive outlook and emotional state. Better social connections: As you develop loving-kindness towards others, it becomes easier to build empathy and compassion, leading to more positive and supportive relationships. Improved sleep: The calming and stress-reducing effects of metta meditation can contribute to better sleep quality. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes those curveballs leave us feeling hurt and misunderstood. The ancient practice of Metta offers a powerful tool to navigate these challenges and cultivate inner peace and connection with ourselves and others.   Imagine a world where we approach life’s difficulties with unconditional kindness, not just for others but for ourselves too. Metta helps us break free from negativity and embrace compassion. It allows us to see the shared human experience of suffering, fostering empathy and understanding even in the toughest situations.  Metta reminds us that true well-being starts with self-compassion. By being kind to ourselves first, we can extend that kindness outward, building stronger relationships and creating a more hopeful and harmonious world. It’s not always easy, but Metta paves the way with loving-kindness, one step at a time. Still curious to know more about compassion and how to bring the essence of Metta into your life? Watch this video on Compassion by Sadia Saeed. https://youtu.be/0pbL-5UOk-A?si=WSmXPYxjxZH-dC9K share this blog! Read similar blogs Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Simple Breathing Meditation Practice Meditation need… Read More Inner Space TeamFebruary 11, 2022 Indian Origins of Mindfulness Meditation Origins of Mindfulness: Religion, Philosophy, or Psychology? Mindfulness is seen to… Read More Inner Space TeamFebruary 11, 2022 Mountain Meditation for Staying Steady during Stressful Times Stress is really an overused word and yet it is… Read More Sadia SaeedApril 30, 2021

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master meditation

Do You Try To Master Meditation?

Often just like any other skill, once people start meditating they try to master meditation. They want to excel at it. They imagine themselves becoming quiet and peaceful and completely mindful. They imagine what a perfectly blissful state they would be in if they master meditation. This is one of the reasons people actually get disenchanted with meditation, often sooner rather than later. How long does it take to master meditation? The fact is, that mindfulness and meditation need to be practiced without an achievement mindset. Meditation is not a linear skill. Yes, you do get better at being mindful with practice, but that’s not the goal. Unlike learning a sport where your final intention is to play very well, mindfulness and meditation are about just being in the here and now. So, to whatever extent awareness gets cultivated is helpful, but there is nothing to achieve or see in terms of results. Treating meditation as another skill is actually a deep loss for you. Instead of getting in touch with the gentle and restful nature of just being in the present for whatever it is, you stress yourself by pushing yourself to excel in one more skill! Here’s a nice Zen story that highlights this point: Time to Learn A young but earnest Zen student approached his teacher, and asked the Zen Master:“If I work very hard and diligent how long will it take for me to find Zen.”The Master thought about this, then replied, “Ten years.”The student then said, “But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast — How long then?”Replied the Master, “Well, twenty years.”“But, if I really, really work at it. How long then?” asked the student.“Thirty years,” replied the Master.“But, I do not understand,” said the disappointed student. “At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that ?”Replied the Master,” When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path.” (Story source: http://spiritual-minds.com/stories/zen.htm)

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be mindful

MINDFULNESS THROUGH THE SENSES

Your senses are your window to the world; you experience life through your senses. Yet, in your everyday routine, you remain busy in trying to make meaning of whatever you see, hear, smell, taste and touch. This is necessary and an essential part of survival! However, if you think about it, every sensory experience is so rich on its own.
Keeping this in mind, this blog describes a mindfulness exercise that involves paying attention to one sense at a time.

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Reset your focus at work

RESETTING YOUR FOCUS AT WORK

When you are upset, tired or stressed, it becomes difficult to focus at work. You are more vulnerable to distractions and everything takes twice as long to do.

“I have been going through a difficult time since the past couple of days. I am shifting to a new house and there are soooo many things to take care of. It is very stressful and it is creating a tense family atmosphere as well. There are projects to finish at work but I find my mind drifting to these problems. It is becoming really difficult to concentrate at my job. My personal problems are starting to get the better of me. It’s affecting my work now! I don’t know what to do about it…”

– Mr.K.L, Senior Manager.

“It’s affecting my work.” Most of us have used this line at some time; generally, when something is going wrong in our personal life and it is starting to affect our productivity at work. It could be a fight with a friend. A neighbour who is causing you unnecessary trouble. Or like Mr. K.L, a tense family environment.

We feel stressed and our mind seems in disarray. It becomes difficult to focus on the task at hand. You don’t feel like working and you struggle to make it through the day.

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MINDFULNESS WORKSHOP AT INNER SPACE: “FEEL CENTERED WITH MINDFULNESS”

Imagine you are a ship. On a voyage. Swayed by gentle breeze or choppy waves everyday. You feel pulled back or pushed ahead. At times, you find it difficult to stay on course. Wouldn’t you want to have an anchor, to keep you steady?

If the ship is your mind, the breeze and waves are your thoughts which take you to the past and future… but what is the anchor??

The anchor is something that is with you all the time – it is the ‘present’

Discovering the Present through Mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention to the present, completely and fully. It is a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience, be it of what you see/hear/smell, or your breath or even your thoughts.

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The Art of Listening