Inner Space

burnout

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FIND LIFE TO BE MEANINGLESS?

Are You Too Busy?

Whenever I ask people : How are you? Often the reply is “I am busy” or “I am crazy busy”. Very rarely do I hear “I am fine”, “I do a lot of things that I enjoy”. Neither do I see people trying to figure out why they are so busy and saying “I am feeling exhausted, I need help”.  How do you experience your busyness? Do you find that you are busy to return calls, meet people that matter, fold laundry, cook a meal, spend few minutes with your kids/spouses without something “so important” coming in between?  Probably you are even too busy to get 8 hours of sleep. Mysteriously though, you seem to always have time to read all whatsapp forwards and send them to others, spend long hours following up on other people’s lives, constantly be in front of the computer or phone, scrolling through facebook, twitter, Instagram, news.. the list goes on. The Price of Being Too Busy The price of being so busy is that you don’t get the time for self care. Ask yourself, if all your time is spent on the external world, where is the time to actually take care of yourself, and rejuvenate yourself for the next day and the day after?  When you get time to do other activities that are not related to work or duties, do you invest time in “yourself” or are you drowning in busyness?  Chances are, its the latter. Working hours are rarely defined anymore. Moreover, you are constantly consumed in your devices 24/7. You are probably focusing on “everything needs to be done right now” instead of preparing yourself and starting afresh the next day. In a 2013 Boston Globe column, Dr. Susan Koven from Massachusetts General Hospital wrote: “In the past few years, I’ve observed an epidemic of sorts: patient after patient suffering from the same condition. The symptoms of this condition include fatigue, irritability, insomnia, anxiety, headaches, heartburn, bowel disturbances, back pain, and weight gain. There are no blood tests or X-rays diagnostic of this condition, and yet it’s easy to recognize. The condition is excessive busyness.” Many of you might be going through this syndrome. Probably, it initially started as a way of helping you make use of your time productively. However, if in recent times this is causing chaos in your mind and in the way you function with other people, you are probably too busy. You may have difficulty engaging in fulfilling conversations without uttering the word “busy” or without getting busy during the conversation. You may find that your productivity is getting affected immensely at work, home and with self. How Can You Make Time to Care for Yourself? These are some good starting points to create some space for yourself amidst your schedule:- Be Aware of how often you are using the word “busy” – this will tell you first hand how busy you are, and how you feel about it. Try not to use the word ‘Busy’ as often: Whenever you notice that you’re about to say “I’m busy”, take a breath, pause. Constantly saying ‘I’m busy’ only perpetuates the pattern and prevents you from truly understanding the nature of that busyness. As the Buddha said, “what you think, you become”. Limit multitasking, increase ‘mono tasking’. Focus on one task instead of on three. Research has found that mono tasking is more efficient than multitasking, it helps you attend to each task better. Moreover, your mind remains clutter free and you immediately notice how much more systematic this feels! Delegate since it is important to prioritise Self – we overlook this one quite often. Remember, your workload is sapping your energy. Often, you make excuses to keep tasks to yourself because you believe that only you can do it best. However, giving others a chance too could help. It will help you focus on the things that will actually help you grow, or things that you actually want to do. Moreover, it will also help you build a resource pool of people who can support you in your workload, in the long run. Limit Distractions, One primary mode of distraction is the phone. Other avenues are television, internet surfing etc. Without your recognition or intention, they take away time and space. Keep some gadget free time in your day, even if it is just 10-15 minutes. This will allow you to mentally rest and reorient to the task at hand with greater focus. It goes without saying that this will also save your time! Make time to Pause, multiple times in a day – check in with yourself to how you feel and what you need in this moment. Maybe it is a glass of water, or a walk, maybe it is to look away from the screen for a few minutes! Be Mindful – when you pay attention to the present moment, you stay rooted to what is happening in the now, and get less swayed by thoughts and mental chatter. Sleep – an often undervalued process in current times, sleep helps you rejuvenate, neurologically and physically. Lack of shut eye time can be more harmful to mental health than you may imagine. If it is daunting to incorporate all of these tips, pick one or two and get started. In a week or two, you will be able to tell the difference. The clutter will start to lessen. Space will begin to open up. Then, pick two more and integrate them in your routine. Keep this going until you feel more space in your day, in your mind and heart. This post has been contributed by Nandita Sarma, counselor and psychologist at Inner Space.   Related Articles : Fear of Missing Out: Am I Doing Enough? Burnout: How Do You Know If It Is Happening To You?  

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WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FIND LIFE TO BE MEANINGLESS?

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FIND LIFE TO BE MEANINGLESS?

It is hard to come by a person who has not experienced moments when they are swallowed up by a vacuum within themselves and in their lives. For many, these moments are fleeting. But some of us have a sense of meaninglessness deeply entrenched in our lives. The questions What am I doing here?, What is the purpose of my life? or Why am I doing what I’m doing? seem to hang over our heads like the sword of Damocles. There seems to be no convincing reason for existence. This feeling often sets in during young adulthood, when the comfort of childhood is replaced with the weight of responsibilities, but individuals of all ages may experience it sometime during their lives. This pervasive feeling of purposelessness, when sustained over time, makes you rather unhappy. It also drains you of the motivation to get out there and enjoy life. In short, life becomes a chore, a path to trudge across simply because there is no other visible option. So What does One Do When One finds Life Meaningless? Let us first look at how this feeling evolves within the each of us. We each have a number of things that bring meaning to our lives. It may be a romantic partner, or the aim of landing a dream job, a career we want to build, children we wish to raise well, or a passion for music and art. These things are fleeting, their significance in our lives temporary. Partners can be broken up with, jobs can be lost or grow monotonous, and art can get repetitive. When life is stripped bare of its sole source of meaning, all sense of purpose is in question. Robin Sharma very articulately stated, “The mind abhors a vacuum”. When deprived of a concrete end or goal that may seem to lend meaning to life, the human mind grows restless, eventually arriving at the bothersome existential question of life’s meaning. It is this very question that could either propel one forward in life, or decrease the very motivation to live. Either way, it is important to acknowledge that the tendency to question meaning and purpose is inherent in the human mind. And like all other emotional or psychological states, it can be overcome! Here’s what you can do about it. Don’t make ‘Searching for an Abstract Meaning to Life’ an Intellectual Pursuit Many people get preoccupied with the fact that death renders all of their actions debatable. They then begin to search for a higher, metaphysical meaning to life. If internalized and felt experientially, this can lead to spiritual and emotional growth. However, often, it may solely remain an intellectual pursuit, a preoccupation where we keep coming up with theories to support a higher meaning to life. Then, we feel that these theories don’t relieve us of anxiety, and search for better theories. Eventually, this increases the feeling of emotional overwhelm and we are perpetually distressed. The existential question of whether or not life has any meaning to begin with is a valid one. However, it can lead you to keep thinking and remain disconnected with your emotions. To ease this out, the idea is to not get caught in answering the question but in handling the associated emotions, and to be more mindful and present to life. As a mystic once said, “Life is a purpose unto itself”. You may not be able to know whether your life is meant to serve a purpose in the grander scheme of things. However, now that you are indeed alive, be more mindful and present to life, as it is. Do Activities that You Enjoy, for the Activity itself and Not for the Result. What are some activities that you truly enjoy? Could be interaction, could be exercise, writing.. activities are many! Do what you love, it fills you with positive energy. However, do it just for the sake of engaging in it, simply because you enjoy yourself, not necessarily for a result. One usually reaches a state of flow when partaking in their favourite activities and hobbies. Research has repeatedly shown that adults who spend more time in flow are happier overall, and tend to feel more cheerful and creative. So whip out that old guitar or paint brush and lose yourself in something you love! Stop Living in the Past and in the Future Hankering after past joy, or dreading possible future difficulties are a shortcut to misery. It is misery and suffering that often begets a questioning of the significance of life. This questioning, when left unchecked, breeds a loss of meaning. Do you find your mind constantly wandering to the past or future? If so, make yourself aware of your thoughts and consciously bring them back to the present. Practising meditative techniques also helps greatly in grounding the mind in the present. Cultivate a Beginner’s Mind Have you noticed the way a child reacts to such simple things as soap bubbles or a butterfly? Growing up takes away from the most of us the perpetual wonder that children display towards all things. “Shoshin” is a concept in Zen Buddhism which refers to a beginner’s mind; the state of being open and eager when learning something, just like a beginner. Cultivating a beginner’s mind in your daily life would mean being observant about you, and appreciating everyday things such as a tree or the clear blue sky, as if seeing them for the very first time. Do this, and you will be surprised at how you can find beauty in things you earlier thought of as mundane. Life ceases to seem meaningless when you see beauty all around you – whether in a simple flower or a sleeping stray dog. Serve It is a very human desire to want to make a difference. Involve yourself in small activities of social service. Be it helping a little extra with the household chores, buying a homeless person food, or volunteering regularly with an NGO, small acts of service go a long way in bringing meaning into one’s life.

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Burnout is a sign for change

BURNOUT: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?

Do you feel like you have no energy left to deal with the stresses of your job? Or, for that matter, your life? That you just ‘can’t take this anymore’? If you do, you are probably experiencing burnout.
At times, burnout goes unnoticed for long or gets addressed very late. By the time, the fatigue and distress the person experiences take a toll. How do you know if you are going through this?

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Reset your focus at work

RESETTING YOUR FOCUS AT WORK

When you are upset, tired or stressed, it becomes difficult to focus at work. You are more vulnerable to distractions and everything takes twice as long to do.

“I have been going through a difficult time since the past couple of days. I am shifting to a new house and there are soooo many things to take care of. It is very stressful and it is creating a tense family atmosphere as well. There are projects to finish at work but I find my mind drifting to these problems. It is becoming really difficult to concentrate at my job. My personal problems are starting to get the better of me. It’s affecting my work now! I don’t know what to do about it…”

– Mr.K.L, Senior Manager.

“It’s affecting my work.” Most of us have used this line at some time; generally, when something is going wrong in our personal life and it is starting to affect our productivity at work. It could be a fight with a friend. A neighbour who is causing you unnecessary trouble. Or like Mr. K.L, a tense family environment.

We feel stressed and our mind seems in disarray. It becomes difficult to focus on the task at hand. You don’t feel like working and you struggle to make it through the day.

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Heavy Workload? How To Rest In A Busy Day?

A heavy workload and numerous deadlines would easily be one of the most stressful things about work. We live in an environment that demands quite a bit out of us and our ability. If you enjoy working to your fullest and find meaning in the work you do, then things are working out well for you. However, if you feel like work is hitting you even before you know it, and are caught up and pressurized, be assured, there are many others in the same boat! Well, sometimes, you cannot directly change the fact that you have a whole lot to do. However, you can, with gentle effort, try and make this just a little easier on yourself. We put up a post earlier that described 3 guidelines that would help you plan and anticipate your day better, to deal with a heavy workload.

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workload

2 WAYS OF HANDLING A HEAVY WORKLOAD: WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Dread getting up in the morning to go to work? Is it the heavy workload that repels you? Many of you probably think of deadlines and workload when you think of work. It’s true that today, work pressures have mounted tremendously. You may have a lot to pack into each day. Though dealing with pressured deadlines and a heavy workload is stressful because it demands a lot out of you, there is little option you are left with. Maybe you cannot change the fact that you have a lot to do at work, today and on most days. Yes, this is tiring and demanding. However, is there something you can do to make this situation just a little easier on yourself? Even if it means worrying just a little lesser about how you will manage or being a little clearer about how much you can do? Often these little efforts help in cutting out from the stress and lending you some more energy to cope with the day.

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Progress comes slowly and steadlily

FOCUSING EXCESSIVELY ON PROGRESS : HOW WE CONTRIBUTE TO OUR STRESS AT WORK – II

In the previous section of this blog post, we described how you can identify if you are stressed because you are focusing too much on progress. In this section, we first dwell on why we sub-consciously develop this mindset. Then, we move on to describe what we can do to avoid over-focusing on progress.

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Porgress

FOCUSING EXCESSIVELY ON PROGRESS : HOW WE CONTRIBUTE TO OUR STRESS AT WORK

Have you been experiencing stress at work? It’s possible that you have had a number of discussions with your colleagues about how stressful work is. Pay close attention to these discussions. What do they revolve around? Deadlines, budget restraints, high demands, salaries? Other people at work… your bosses, colleagues, juniors stressing you out?

What about “YOU”? We mean “YOU” as being a source of stress…

Doesn’t sound very good, isn’t it? After all why would you cause stress to yourself?

And yet you do! Actually most of us do!… Allow us to explain…

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Overworked

FEELING OVERWORKED – WHAT YOU CAN DO

Your alarm goes “trrrrrrrrrring” in the morning and your eyes are almost sealed shut.

Snooze.

Yet again “trrrrrrring”

Squirms, sighs, irritation.
You wake up to yet another day. Or yet another time-table? Let me narrate some more. Every hour of your day is like a timed, one-minute game. It’s all about speed, efficiency and energy and you are constantly feeling overworked.

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cup of coffee

IDENTIFY YOUR TRUE PRIORITIES

I’ve been running behind time for some time now. There’s always a lot to do and just not enough time to do all of it. What does one do then? We compromise. Do the “important” things first, and let the things that can wait, wait. More often than not, the things we keep postponing include the movie with family, the coffee with friends, the yoga class the doctor has recommended a 100 times or your favorite guitar, which now longs for your touch.

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The Art of Listening