sadness

The world is more connected than ever. Think about this, a mere click connects us to the other side of the globe. Social media buzzes with constant chatter, and we are just a plane ride away from the most remote places on earth.  Yet, a strange irony persists: feeling lonely now seems more common than ever. Rates of loneliness, anxiety, and depression have been rising consistently. Recently, the WHO has declared loneliness to be a “global health threat.” There is a missing piece in this puzzle- we need to understand why we feel alone even while we are right in the middle of connection.  In this article, we dive into the roots of loneliness, trying to seek solutions, not just to stop feeling lonely, but to truly understand the deeper meaning behind it.  What is Loneliness? Loneliness is a complex emotion, and each individual has their own meaning around feeling lonely. Feeling lonely is more than just being alone, it’s the pain of disconnection even when we are amidst others.  Feeling lonely can be transient, or can even be stretched to a life time. Chronic loneliness can weaken our immune system, fuel depression and anxiety, and even affect our physical health.  Loneliness can be confusing feeling and it can be complicated to identify. We may feel left out out of the fun of life. We might feel excluded from life’s joys, wondering why others seem to effortlessly connect while we feel like a puzzle piece that just doesn’t belong. These feelings can create a vicious cycle, pushing us further away from others as our mind whispers doubts about our ability to connect meaningfully. Loneliness feels like a dark cloud that follows us around. It makes us feel lost and alone, even when we’re surrounded by people. We try to ignore it by connecting with others in unhealthy ways, but that doesn’t make it better. The real solution is to find deep and meaningful connections with others. These connections will help us feel happy and fulfilled again. We are not alone. Everyone at some point or the other feels lonely. It is a shared, human condition.  The Truth about Feeling Lonely The tendency to feel lonely has been deeply embedded into our systems since the wake of mankind. As a social creatures, we needed others to survive. We moved in packs, fought predators, found food, and thrived.  Therefore, moving away from the pack meant that we are more exposed to threat. So the ache of loneliness served as a alarm system to remind us to reconnect with our pack, as being alone would result be a threat to our existence.  Fast forward to today, where wild animals aren’t the immediate threat, the same pain of feeling lonely persists. When we feel excluded from our social circle, that ache might seem like a personal failing. However, it’s simply an echo of our evolutionary past, a reminder of the importance of connection. The discomfort of loneliness can be a powerful guide, a gentle nudge towards building a deeper connection with ourselves.  Look Inward when you are Feeling Lonely Our minds are wired for pleasure, seeking what feels good and avoiding discomfort. But sometimes, exploring the “not-so-good” areas, like choosing healthy food over junk or facing difficult emotions like feeling lonely, opens doors to deeper self-awareness. Feeling lonely can signal the need for social connection. However, seeking one-sided connections or isolating ourselves due to feeling like a misfit can be counterproductive. Both behaviors can prevent us from enjoying our own company and finding joy in solitude. This avoidance of feeling lonely might stem from a belief that we are not good company for ourselves. But remember, loneliness is a normal human experience, and it can also be a valuable guide. It can signal a need for inner connection, a time to simply “be” without external stimulation. Sometimes, just embracing our own company can lead to incredible self-discoveries. We learn our likes, dislikes, values, and what we truly desire in relationships. Being content with ourselves doesn’t mean shutting others out. Instead, it’s about deepening our connection with our authentic self, nurturing relationships that feel safe, reciprocal, and fulfilling. Two Ways to look at Loneliness We tend to believe how loneliness can only be resolved by seeking more relationships. However, looking inward, being with oneself can also lighten the burden of loneliness and help you view your relationships in a better light. Thus, the key to managing loneliness is to find a balance between the relationship we have with ourselves, and with others.  Here are some ways to manage loneliness by reaching out and looking within: Connecting With Yourself: Doing your favourite hobbies, exploring activities you enjoy, or pursuing interests by yourself Practicing mindfulness can help you turn inward and manage the negative emotions that come with feeling lonely  Connecting With Others: Be a part of clubs, groups, or organizations Explore online communities Try volunteering for a social cause Feeling lonely doesn’t diminish your worth. It’s a shared human experience, a signal that something within needs attention. Embrace this feeling as an opportunity to explore both your inner and outer landscapes, building a richer, more fulfilling life in the process. You are not alone on this journey, and both self and social connection can play vital roles in finding your way back to belonging. Is your Loneliness holding you back? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and overcome your loneliness and lead a happy, fulfilling life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment About the Author This article was written by Parvathi Ganesan, Counselor at Inner Space. This post was consulted & approved by professional therapists practicing online therapy and counseling.  Ask a Therapist If you are interested to know more about loneliness and other mental health topics, ‘Ask A Therapist’ is a platform for you to ask your questions related to Mental Health, Mindfulness & Emotional Well-Being to our team of qualified Therapists. Ask a Therapist Related Blogs Do

What Is Sadness? Sadness is a basic human emotion. It’s a natural response to situations that cause emotional, psychological or physical pain. You can feel happy, angry, joyful, and a plethora of other emotions. Same goes for sadness, it’s real and a part of life. There’s nothing unusual about feeling sad. You may also feel sad for no reason, and that is normal too.  Sadness can coincide with other feelings such as stress, grief, anxiety, anger or hopelessness. How Sadness Is Felt In the Body We can use different words when referring to sadness. For instance, agony, dismay, anguish, distress, unhappiness, dejection, sorrow and many more. Sadness also changes how you feel in your physiology. Perhaps you may have a headache or a stomachache, or you might also have trouble going to sleep when you are experiencing sadness. When you experience sadness, you may get teary-eyed, frustrated, grumpy, bored or just eager to avoid or  may even disconnect with people. The Society’s Perception Of Sadness Sadness is a healthy emotion. Although it doesn’t come under the list of ‘comfortable emotions’, a lot of us do our best to avoid it. Since sadness is not culturally accepted, witnessing it in others and ourselves can get challenging. The last few decades has promoted happiness as a normal state of being – something that we all should aspire to be. We’ve been encouraged to diligently work on acquiring happiness in all aspects of our life. On the other hand, we’re advised to conceal sorrow and work on hastily eliminating it rather than dwelling on feelings of sadness or melancholy. The above understanding of normal does not allow us to sit with our sadness and understand what it is trying to communicate to us. Possible Reasons For Feeling Sad Life is filled with situations that make people sad. Experiencing issues or troubles at home. For instance, family feuds, skirmishes or domestic violence Feeling pressured at school or work Moving away from home – relocating or migrating to a new city or country Losing a loved one or a dear friend Getting diagnosed with an illness, caring for someone who is unwell or in a critical condition Struggling with financial issues Grappling with changes in thoughts like getting self-critical, or learning new   information on subjects like poverty, inequality or climate change Sadness doesn’t have a clear path or a pattern of inheritance in families. Nonetheless, some of us may be genetically predisposed to sadness and that’s perfectly okay. In case you are one of them, you may find yourself getting twirled in the cycle of sadness when triggered with difficult life events.  When you face situations that overwhelm you, it’s possible to get entangled in negative thoughts. These very thoughts can push you further into a shell aggravating your sadness. Here are some ways you can get in touch, explore, and ultimately learn how to manage your sadness. Are your anxieties holding you back? Counseling can be a great tool for you to manage and overcome your anxiety and lead a happy, stress-free life. We are here for you. Book an Appointment How To Deal With Sadness Normalising Sadness Sadness, unlike other emotions, unfortunately comes with a bad reputation. No one really wants to talk about it. We’re so stuck in the narrative of happiness that everybody craves for it and abstains from feeling sad. You can be a self-confessed optimist. But being optimistic doesn’t guarantee happiness all the time. You can be sad – but you can also be a person who is optimistic at the same time. Sadness is important as it connects you to yourself. Myths around the world lead us to believe that sadness is attributed to being weak. For instance, when you are feeling sad and are brave enough to verbalise or show it, you are told not to ‘stew’ or ‘wallow’ in it. In other words, even when you want to, you’re discouraged to feel sad. If you were raised in a family where it wasn’t safe to feel sad because you were criticised as being needy, you might judge your sadness and brush it aside. It results in you suppressing this vital emotion. A person may distract oneself from genuinely feeling sad. An individual may push it away with whichever manoeuvres the mind, body, and the brain can take to avoid any emotional discomfort. Sadness helps in understanding what’s happening within you and lets you process your feelings. For this reason, it’s a very important emotion. There’s nothing weak about feeling sad. There are no labels around sadness, it just is!   Recognising and Allowing Yourself to Feel Sad Sadness comes with a message of its own. ‘Feeling’ your sadness is essential as it tells you what’s missing. In other words, it conveys to you that there’s something that’s not currently present in your life. Often when you’re feeling sad, you’ll realise that your energy levels are depleting and it’s a task to get back up and re-engage. Sadness can do this to you. During times like these, your mind forces you to instantly fix what feels wrong and look for what’s missing. When your ‘fixing mind’ doesn’t give you what you need at that moment, it causes frustration and in turn leads to more sadness.  How can you recognise sadness in yourself? When you’re aware of triggers that make you sad, then know that it’s time to feel sad. Feeling sadness isn’t pleasant. However, by just letting yourself know that you’re sad by either saying “yes” or a simple nod when you feel a rush of sadness is a good way to begin. Acknowledging your emotion in this manner makes it easier to access it. You can now fully feel sadness without judging or analysing it. (This part doesn’t come easily. It takes practice to learn to recognise physical sensations with the experience of sadness).  Instead try and focus on your sadness and see what it is about. Any reasons come to mind or is it