Our mind is a powerhouse; from helping us make new friends, to getting us ahead in life, our mind does it all. It constantly works to make sense of our experiences. It also has an interesting tendency of creating stories to understand our world. However sometimes, in this pursuit, our mind can end up making …
As December sets in, everything around you oozes of cheer, joy and happiness. Daily life seems to get a boost of excitement when you see that preparations for the celebrations have begun all around – be it Christmas, New Year’s or weddings. However, amidst all the December enthusiasm, there may be people who are feeling low, depressed and lonely.
You are able to live with yourself because you know you are fundamentally good!
You know that all your inadequacies and the not so good qualities exist either because they are judged that way by people around you or because you picked them up somewhere on the way because of the difficulties that life sent your way.
You are correct! The deepest core of you, of all of us, every person is beautiful.
A classmate of mine in school and college successfully hung herself from a fan… It was devastating… Years later here I am-a psychologist- with several hundred sessions of having heard the teenagers side of the story-the hopelessness, helplessness and the frustrations. When Rediff asked me to write about teenage suicide, everything came together 🙂
TIP 6: BELIEVE IN IMPERMANENCE
Nothing lasts forever
About the lows:
Do you believe that good things don’t last forever?
Unfortunately true isn’t it?
However, flipping the coin around you’ll see that even bad things don’t last forever!
I’m sure each of us has been through some difficult times. Times when life was so tough that it was difficult to smile, when each breath and each step took just too much effort. Remember the times, when you thought it was impossible to survive without a loved one, or to conquer this particular challenge, or to surface from this deepest low. Pause. See where you are now. You didnt just survive, you lived! The disaster passed. Life went on. You moved on.
TIP 5: Identify Irrational Thought Patterns
‘I should be loved by everyone for everything I do.’ How does this statement sound to you? Chances are it will sound unrealistic, irrational and almost impossible. How can anybody be loved by everyone for everything they do?
Let me introduce a situation here. You are at a party, exchanging pleasantries with other folk. You spot someone you know across the room. You generously walk up and say ‘hi’. That person however barely acknowledges you and walks away. How are you likely to feel? Are you more likely to dismiss it and say, ‘never mind, he must have been frustrated’ or to dwell upon how ‘disrespectful’ and ‘insulting’ a gesture that was?
TIP 4: Understand your stress and Don’t Ignore Your Body
Today is the less stress day and this is our tribute to it.
Stress is a household term these days. Everyone from the bored elderly to the overworked adults to the overburdened kids is “stressed”. As each of us fights this demon, not just our minds but our bodies are actively engaged in the struggle.
TIP 3: YOU Play a Very Important Part in the Solution of YOUR Problems
Why are you unhappy?
Only 3 possible sources:
– The situation
– Other people
Not convinced with the third option? Read on.
Most of us feel that our emotional suffering and pain are created by situations or people. However, the only one who has any power to make you happy or unhappy is YOU. Our emotional responses are triggered by our own perception of a situation or event only.
TIP 2: Be Positive Even In Positive Situations –
If we give a thought to it, ‘think positive and be optimistic’ is a tip we often tend to use when faced with a negative situation. In other words, a general interpretation of “think positive” is, “think positive when things go wrong.” When I have overshot a deadline and am expecting fireworks from my boss, I need to “be positive” and tell myself, “he may just be in a good mood today.” This is what we do when we’re faced with a negative situation. However, what about when we’re faced with a positive situation??