Competition. A word that fuels energy, action, persistence….nervousness, impulsivity…selfishness, anger & conflict? Disruption of Relationships? Or in some cases, intense turmoil to a person’s psyche?
Well, yes. Yes to all these questions.
This is a guest post by Monisha Mukundan.
Walking towards the stream one day, I passed two little boys intent on their toy. It completely absorbed the attention of both the boy manipulating the device as well as his companion. It was the metal lid of a tin, perhaps a tin of powdered milk or ghee, with rounded edges, and a length of wire. The wire was bent at one end, to hook around the lid. The boy was driving the lid along the cement path with the wire. The path was not smooth and it took skill and concentration to keep the lid turning. The boy’s companion was as intent on the game as he was, perhaps he was waiting for his turn and mentally practising as he watched.
Coping and dealing with a child who has a developmental difficulty requires patience, understanding and firm inner resilience, which is why it is referred to as being relatively difficult. It takes us time to understand the nature of our child’s barriers to growth and then help them. But, what about a situation where we probably do not understand fully that our child is facing genuine barriers to growth?? What about when we attribute their problem behavior to their personalities and miss out on recognizing a mild form of a developmental disturbance?? This blog muses about these possibilities.
The term “depression” is becoming increasingly commonplace today. Often people believe they have gone through depression but today we want to question whether it is really so! The number of people suffering from depression is definitely on the rise, but while it is as widespread as to be the common cold of mental disorders, it still isn’t as common as common cold!
The list is out! You’re in! After a million hours of preparation and a zillion prayers, you’ve got through to the IIM! You’re officially and rightfully part of the top niche. Your dream has come true. A flashback flashes through your mind:
Sitting in school – day dreaming of IIM,
giving board examinations – mugging for IIM,
extra-currics in college – building a CV for IIM,
slogging for CAT, GDs and PI – preparing for IIM,
staring at the list – already in IIM!
It’s been your goal for as long as you can remember and you have proved to be worthy of it.
But something doesn’t feel right.
Your alarm goes “trrrrrrrrrring” in the morning and your eyes are almost sealed shut.
Snooze.
Yet again “trrrrrrring”
Squirms, sighs, irritation.
You wake up to yet another day. Or yet another time-table? Let me narrate some more. Every hour of your day is like a timed, one-minute game. It’s all about speed, efficiency and energy and you are constantly feeling overworked.
Be Kind. Not just because it makes you look good, but primarily because it makes you ‘feel’ good. I would understand kindness as helping another person, in any way you can, without expecting anything in return. Kindness is not defined in magnitude, but only the purity of intent. Be it giving tons of money to charities or helping an old person cross the street – it’s all equally important and significant.
‘Self-esteem’ is, to put it simply, what an individual thinks of himself/ herself. Also known as ‘self-confidence’, self-esteem is a key determinant of how we feel about ourselves and the world. It drives our actions and choices and pretty much establishes how we live our lives. Think about that goal you’ve been longing to achieve but haven’t tried to so far. There’s something about that goal which is repulsive…or intimidating. The overt thought is “I want this and don’t want it at the same time.” In several cases, the underlying thought is, “what if I am not able to achieve it??” This ‘what if?’ is so threatening that we choose to ‘camp’ and to stop pursuing that goal.
I’ve been running behind time for some time now. There’s always a lot to do and just not enough time to do all of it. What does one do then? We compromise. Do the “important” things first, and let the things that can wait, wait. More often than not, the things we keep postponing include the movie with family, the coffee with friends, the yoga class the doctor has recommended a 100 times or your favorite guitar, which now longs for your touch.
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path
