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NURTURING YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM
‘Self-esteem’ is, to put it simply, what an individual thinks of himself/ herself. Also known as ‘self-confidence’, self-esteem is a key determinant of how we feel about ourselves and the world. It drives our actions and choices and pretty much establishes how we live our lives. Think about that goal you’ve been longing to achieve but haven’t tried to so far. There’s something about that goal which is repulsive…or intimidating. The overt thought is “I want this and don’t want it at the same time.” In several cases, the underlying thought is, “what if I am not able to achieve it??” This ‘what if?’ is so threatening that we choose to ‘camp’ and to stop pursuing that goal.
IDENTIFY YOUR TRUE PRIORITIES
I’ve been running behind time for some time now. There’s always a lot to do and just not enough time to do all of it. What does one do then? We compromise. Do the “important” things first, and let the things that can wait, wait. More often than not, the things we keep postponing include the movie with family, the coffee with friends, the yoga class the doctor has recommended a 100 times or your favorite guitar, which now longs for your touch.
DEALING WITH JEALOUSY IN FRIENDSHIP
Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both
SILENCE : PEACE IN A “NOISY” WORLD
Our lives today are full of noise – auditory, visual, tactile, cognitive etc. From honking cars, to bright neon billboards, uncomfortably tight clothing to endless worries, there is an overload of stimulus input from all these modalities. This understandably overworks and gradually exhausts our sense organs, our mind, our body and our very nerves.
Why Marriages And Relationships Work Inspite Of Problems
A happy marriage or relationship is where both partners understand each other, love each other unconditionally, communicate effectively and love doing little nothings for each other- so we are told. Those marriages or couples that are not like this are not quite there!
However, we see in our own lives and in lives of those close to us, a number of relationships do not have these qualities. And yet, they last! Some for decades! Ever wondered how is it that without these so assumed ‘basic’ needs, relationships still last?
THE SEEDS OF SELF ESTEEM – ‘INITIATIVE VERSUS GUILT’
‘Initiative versus Guilt’ is one of the eight stages of psychosocial development proposed by pioneering psychoanalyst Erik Erikson (1902 – 1994). Each of the stages described by Erikson constitute a milestone in personality development, wherein the child is faced with a primary psychological issue / theme/ conflict that he/she needs to resolve satisfactorily for healthy development of the personality. For eg., the conflict faced by the child in its first year is, “ Is the world a good and safe place to live in?” and in its second year is, “Am I capable of controlling my environment?”
