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focus on the positive


Whatever we focus on expands.

As human beings with limited resources of attention, we can only focus on a few things at a time. Naturally, whatever we invest energy and attention in, becomes more important and significant to us. In other words, it gets amplified. The other aspects of the situation are ignored.

Amplification is the process of making something larger and more important than it is, be it thoughts, emotions or experiences. Unfortunately, usually without even consciously realizing, most people focus on the negative aspects of situations. We’re always thinking of what all can go wrong, rather than what can go right. With this mode of thinking, people soon find themselves spiraling downwards into an abyss of anxiety, fear and depression.

India World Cup WIn


2nd April 2011, Saturday night. India lifted the cricket world cup …and we were in a frenzy of celebration! It was a “dream come true” moment for team India and many of us across the country. An utterly delicious icing to the cake….the cake being our win over Pakistan. MS Dhoni made a particularly interesting comment about cricket fans’ expectations after their win against Australia in the quarter finals – “we don’t care about the finals, just win the SEMI-FINALS!!”. Why not? Ind/Pak clashes are always mouth-watering….probably even more than the match where we actually bagged the cup. Let us think about this…which match instantly stirred up a bigger adrenaline rush in us and meant sheer excitement? Ind-Pak or Ind-Sri Lanka? For most of us, the answer would be the former. Why so?



Why do we suffer? Like a lot of you who would read this, I too ask the same question. Trying to answer that might lead us to an entirely philosophical and spiritual debate, which is not the aim of this piece. However, the question-what is the best way to diminish this suffering seems to often result in one answer-live in the now-in the present moment. This holds merit whether we arrive at it through the Zen or Buddhist path or through the Choice theory and Cognitive therapy path. And yet we find that living in the present is no easy task, although the present is all we have.

Parent child communication

Telling It Right- Tips For Communication With Children

Imagine a scenario, where you are an athlete, a runner and you have a coach who is giving you some last minute instructions before the race starts. Which set of instructions are likely to help you?

“Be attentive to all those around you, there are superior runners here. Some have won many such races in the past. They are medalists. Be very attentive to the whistle. Don’t miss it.”


“You have practiced what you could, now enjoy the run. Run freely with your whole mind and body. Don’t worry. Give your best.”



A lot of people that I have met recently seem to be caught in the classic rescuer complex. They live for others, their happiness, their needs, their wishes – the self is nowhere in the picture. You live for your parents, your spouse, your children, the community, even pets – absolutely anything that is external could be a worthy candidate. What about yourself, aren’t you worthy of your own love?



We suffer for stressful events that occur in our own lives and probably in the lives of those whom we love. However, can we also suffer intensely for painful events that occur in the lives of unknown people living miles away from us? The answer, though unexpected, is a definite yes.


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