understanding feelings

Pointing Fingers

COMMUNICATION: “YOU” V/S “I” STATEMENTS

Why don’t you ever listen?
You just don’t understand me!
Why are you always late?
You must study or you won’t score well
You are of no help at all!
You are so insensitive, you just don’t care, you don’t love me!

Are these statements you have faced at one time or the other? How did it make you feel? How did you respond to it? Did it make you want to listen and cooperate? Or did it feel like an accusation?

Preserving the parent child relation

PRESERVING THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

As parents, we are naturally concerned about our children. We want them to have a bright future and be self sufficient. Anything that we see as taking the child away from this prospect worries us. We worry, fret and spend considerable time and energy correcting the child. “Don’t do this, it’s bad for you.” “Why don’t you listen to me?”, “I’m saying this for your good and nobody else’s!!” are some statements you would probably connect with. At times, we happen to spend ALL our time with the child in correcting him/her. We consider it our duty to mould them right. Hence, many of us would be constantly on the lookout for the negative behavior, be it disinterest in studies, lack of social interaction, excessive viewing of television, argumentativeness or aggression. Every repetition of that behavior frustrates us and we chide and scold our children or maybe even beat them. However, a good number of times, our child continues to engage in the negative behavior. Therefore, is the current approach you are using effective? What is going wrong here?

Touch

TOUCH – A POWERFUL SENSE INDEED!!

“What’s in a touch?” one may ask. I came across an article on ‘psyblog’ ( read it here) that seemed to convey, “what is NOT in a touch?” The potency of touch as a means of communication is often underestimated. We often use ‘conversation’ or ‘talking’ and ‘communication’ synonymously, even while we surely have read about facial expressions and body language as being more powerful than spoken content while in interaction. Going one step ahead, body language immediately brings to our mind elements of body posture such as slouching, stooping, standing upright, having hands folded etc. Well, what we miss out on, possibly due to cultural norms, is that body language also involves touch.

The Art of Listening