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cyberbullying in teenagers

CYBERBULLYING IN TEENAGERS : IS IT HAPPENING TO YOU?

R.M. is a cheerful 14 year old teenager who stays with her parents in Mumbai. She likes science and finds history very boring. She loves watching movies and spending time with her friends. She sounds just like you or someone you might know, doesn’t she? Just like you, she has a profile on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram…you name it! And just like you, she can’t wait to get home from class and come online to update her status; chat with her friends or post a comment about something funny that happened at school.

Since the past week however, she has been behaving differently.

Last week, when she got home from school and signed into Facebook, a classmate had commented something in jest on her picture. It was funny at first, but then the comments got mean, and extremely hurtful. The same person from her class, then started posting mean status updates and sending her unkind messages.

She didn’t know what to do or how to make it stop. So, she hasn’t gone to school for most days of the week saying she’s feeling unwell. She’s been withdrawn and her parents can’t understand what happened. She has been avoiding messages from her friends. She feels hurt, scared and even a little angry. Wouldn’t you feel the same way?

inner self

TO THAT WHICH IS BEAUTIFUL IN YOU

You are able to live with yourself because you know you are fundamentally good!

You know that all your inadequacies and the not so good qualities exist either because they are judged that way by people around you or because you picked them up somewhere on the way because of the difficulties that life sent your way.

You are correct! The deepest core of you, of all of us, every person is beautiful.

Is it okay to say no in the face of a temper tantrum?

IS IT OKAY TO SAY NO IN THE FACE OF A TEMPER TANTRUM?

This is a question I am often asked by parents in therapy.

‘How to react if the child throws a temper tantrum?’

If you are a parent, you probably have been through this dilemma and resolved it. Or maybe you are going through it at present.

Some children find it easier to adjust when things don’t go their way. They may occasionally cry or fuss a little, but they’re largely open to adjusting.

Some children find it extremely difficult to make such an adjustment. They tend to get very upset when things don’t go their way. They may cry loudly, shout and insist that their demand be met with. The more you deny them what they want, the more they cry and the temper tantrum aggravates. Ultimately, you reach a place where you don’t know how to react.

In such a scenario, what is better? To fulfill the child’s demand or say no?

Advantages of Nuclear Family

NUCLEAR FAMILIES – AN ADVANTAGE FOR CHILDREN?

I often come across parents of nuclear families these days that are juggling between work, home, and baby- sitters. They constantly ponder about the fact that their children would be raised better in the hands of their family members or grandparents versus a baby- sitter, or a care- taker. So are we blaming the changing …

NUCLEAR FAMILIES – AN ADVANTAGE FOR CHILDREN? Read More »

Rise in teenage suicide in India

UNDERSTAND TEENAGE SUICIDE: GET INTO THEIR SHOES

A classmate of mine in school and college successfully hung herself from a fan… It was devastating… Years later here I am-a psychologist- with several hundred sessions of having heard the teenagers side of the story-the hopelessness, helplessness and the frustrations. When Rediff asked me to write about teenage suicide, everything came together 🙂

Anger

COMMUNICATING WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY: TIPS FOR TEENAGERS

If you find yourself getting angry and irritated easily and are ready to ‘give it back’ most of the time, you are also probably quite bottled up inside. Few people seem to understand you and most brand you as an ‘angry teen’. You may have tried ‘controlling your anger’ and ‘being less angry’ but may not have succeeded to your satisfaction (and those of others). Often, what we do to manage aggression is try “not to get angry” even when we are actually angered. Think about it. It’s like mom is repeatedly saying something to you, you’re fuming within but try to “be calm” and mask your anger. No wonder then that you end up snapping or yelling at her despite not wanting to. What we actually doing here is ‘controlling’ or attempting to suppress our anger. It’s like trying to shut an overstuffed suitcase. Suppression is never healthy, it only breeds sadness, frustration and makes us feel that the people around us are unfair.

Managing Anger: Guidance For Adolescents

Managing Anger: Guidance For Adolescents

Some of us in our teens are ‘cool under pressure’, ‘cool as a cucumber’ or ‘chilled out’. Some of us are hot-tempered, short-tempered or easily angered. If you are one of those who identify with the second set of descriptors, life could get a tad bit difficult. Losing one’s cool is never a pleasant feeling. You may get persistently described as short-tempered, stubborn and argumentative. Moreover, over a period of time, others almost stop bothering to find out why you are angry and what has hurt you. Its almost like, ‘this chap/girl is forever angry so forget it.’ At such a time it may start to feel like people are just mocking you or they just don’t care….and wait, its not over yet.

“THE PERSON BEHIND THE PARENT” : GROUP SESSION FOR PARENTS

The Inner Space Team announces a group session, ‘The Person behind the Parent’, on the 11th of March, 2012. We held one such session on the 20th of November, 2011 and felt the need to reach out to you once again with what we believe are important perspectives for every parent to consider. As a parent you have dropped your children off to classes, therapy sessions, have attended Parent-Teacher meetings, open houses, been called to school to hear complaints or praises, fretted, fumed, stressed and of course loved it to some extent.

Time to love yourself, we say!

Holding Hands

CONSISTENCY IN PARENTING : AN ASPECT OF BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

Most parents seek guidance on how they can change the negative behavior of their children and encourage more positive behavior. We have held two workshops at Inner Space focusing on behavior modification addressing these concerns. Behavior modification is the process applied to enable the child and parents to methodically bring about the required changes. It involves setting up rules of actions and consequent positive or negative repercussions. Positive behavior gets rewards while negative behavior gets no rewards.

This is also what we often do in life naturally. However, more often than not we do it inconsistently.

Aggression

UNDERSTANDING AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN : THE VICTIM BEHIND THE AGGRESSOR

Those of us who have children who are irritable and easily angered probably wonder why they are so short-tempered, why they snap back for everything we say and just WHY they are so aggressive. Most of the reasons we manage to think about center around stubbornness, immaturity, peer pressure, deriving pleasure out of rebellion and an irresponsible approach to life. Naturally, our approach towards correcting such behaviors stem from these reasons. We chide our children, give them repeated instructions and make repeated attempts to get them to obey and conform. However, if you have noticed, these may not have worked. You may see that your child still continues to defy and disobey. In fact, most of you may notice that the more you try to correct your child, the more defiant and oppositional your child becomes.

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