Almost every day, we come across news of murder, assault, rape, and thievery, whether it is in the newspaper, on news channels or through various online media websites. Some people seem to cope with these news reports, some find it difficult to assimilate it. Through this article, we at Inner Space, hope to explain the psychological effects of traumatic news and how we can build healthy coping strategies to deal with these effects.
When you have low self esteem, you tend to question your ability most of the time. Most people around seem to be doing better than you, and you don’t see enough competence in yourself.
The tough part about having low self esteem is that you tend to go on for several years in life believing within that you are not good enough. You feel inhibited in some situations…
‘I strive to be perfect!! Well, not always; but there are a few areas where I seek perfection.’ Such areas could be studies, one’s appearance or work related projects. Perfectionism in one or more areas is a trait some of us identify with. We want a perfect state of mind before we begin work and a smooth, perfect route to task completion. The question I want to raise here is – Does the quest for perfection help or hurt? You might say, “both”.
My next question would be, “does it hurt more than it helps?” Wait a minute, you don’t have to answer me immediately.
I’d like you to take a few minutes though and think about this before you continue reading. It is an important question for you.
Anxiety – that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach, making you uneasy and jittery.. what causes that? Why do we get anxious?
A good chunk of the answer to this lies in our thought processes. We often have recurrent patterns of thought that cause, contribute to or maintain anxiety. Some such thoughts are described in this blog.
Anxiety can be described as a state where one experiences symptoms that are bodily, emotional, behavioural and cognitive (involving thought and mental processes). Tension, worry, nervousness and apprehension are some of the words commonly used to describe anxiety.
We have all experienced anxiety, be it in the form of nervousness before going up on stage, tension for exam, apprehension about a decision, worry for our kids or stress for an office presentation. Anxiety can range from being mildly discomforting to severely debilitating and if not dealt with properly can manifest as disorders that negatively affect your daily lives.
Forgiveness is often seen and dismissed as a virtue of the saintly. Most people cling dearly to their anger, pain and sense of injustice. The choice of not forgiving might temporarily give you a sense of power – power to condemn, power to judge and hold the other person guilty, power of righteously being holier than thou. However, going one level deeper, one sees just how hollow and fictitious this power is. You are actually giving away your power, allowing the opposite person to push your buttons at will, to make you writhe in agony or cry in pain at a whim.
TIP 6: BELIEVE IN IMPERMANENCE
Nothing lasts forever
About the lows:
Do you believe that good things don’t last forever?
Unfortunately true isn’t it?
However, flipping the coin around you’ll see that even bad things don’t last forever!
I’m sure each of us has been through some difficult times. Times when life was so tough that it was difficult to smile, when each breath and each step took just too much effort. Remember the times, when you thought it was impossible to survive without a loved one, or to conquer this particular challenge, or to surface from this deepest low. Pause. See where you are now. You didnt just survive, you lived! The disaster passed. Life went on. You moved on.
TIP 5: Identify Irrational Thought Patterns
‘I should be loved by everyone for everything I do.’ How does this statement sound to you? Chances are it will sound unrealistic, irrational and almost impossible. How can anybody be loved by everyone for everything they do?
Let me introduce a situation here. You are at a party, exchanging pleasantries with other folk. You spot someone you know across the room. You generously walk up and say ‘hi’. That person however barely acknowledges you and walks away. How are you likely to feel? Are you more likely to dismiss it and say, ‘never mind, he must have been frustrated’ or to dwell upon how ‘disrespectful’ and ‘insulting’ a gesture that was?
Competition. A word that fuels energy, action, persistence….nervousness, impulsivity…selfishness, anger & conflict? Disruption of Relationships? Or in some cases, intense turmoil to a person’s psyche?
Well, yes. Yes to all these questions.
The list is out! You’re in! After a million hours of preparation and a zillion prayers, you’ve got through to the IIM! You’re officially and rightfully part of the top niche. Your dream has come true. A flashback flashes through your mind:
Sitting in school – day dreaming of IIM,
giving board examinations – mugging for IIM,
extra-currics in college – building a CV for IIM,
slogging for CAT, GDs and PI – preparing for IIM,
staring at the list – already in IIM!
It’s been your goal for as long as you can remember and you have proved to be worthy of it.
But something doesn’t feel right.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path
