how to communicate

This article is aimed at reaching out to couples facing sexual issues

DEALING WITH LACK OF SEXUAL DESIRE : WORKING TOWARDS A HAPPIER RELATIONSHIP

Some of you in your relationships may be in a situation where one partner wants or wishes for sex much lesser than the other partner. We’ve written an article that extensively describes low sexual desire – what contributes to it and what one can do about it.

Changing roles of Indian women and relationship difficulties

INDIAN MARRIAGE: STRAINED BY CHANGING WOMEN’S ROLES?

Marriages today are under duress and we all know that. The statement has been true for the past decade or so for a number of countries and India follows suit. The number of couples I see for therapy have at least quadrupled in the last decade.

Pointing Fingers

COMMUNICATION: “YOU” V/S “I” STATEMENTS

Why don’t you ever listen?
You just don’t understand me!
Why are you always late?
You must study or you won’t score well
You are of no help at all!
You are so insensitive, you just don’t care, you don’t love me!

Are these statements you have faced at one time or the other? How did it make you feel? How did you respond to it? Did it make you want to listen and cooperate? Or did it feel like an accusation?

Overworked

FEELING OVERWORKED – WHAT YOU CAN DO

Your alarm goes “trrrrrrrrrring” in the morning and your eyes are almost sealed shut.

Snooze.

Yet again “trrrrrrring”

Squirms, sighs, irritation.
You wake up to yet another day. Or yet another time-table? Let me narrate some more. Every hour of your day is like a timed, one-minute game. It’s all about speed, efficiency and energy and you are constantly feeling overworked.

Jealousy

DEALING WITH JEALOUSY IN FRIENDSHIP

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It becomes that much more difficult however; when we’re jealous of a close friend, who we also love. Two opposite emotions – affection and jealousy clash…and perhaps leave us agonized. The closer we are to the friend, the worse it could get. Every time we meet the friend, we’re reminded of how he/ she is better than we are…and how we are not good enough. Leaving the situation unaddressed could prove detrimental to the friendship, to our emotional well being or to both

Marriage

WHY MARRIAGES AND RELATIONSHIPS WORK INSPITE OF PROBLEMS

A happy marriage or relationship is where both partners understand each other, love each other unconditionally, communicate effectively and love doing little nothings for each other- so we are told. Those marriages or couples that are not like this are not quite there!

However, we see in our own lives and in lives of those close to us, a number of relationships do not have these qualities. And yet, they last! Some for decades! Ever wondered how is it that without these so assumed ‘basic’ needs, relationships still last?

Seeds of Self Esteem

THE SEEDS OF SELF ESTEEM – ‘INITIATIVE VERSUS GUILT’

‘Initiative versus Guilt’ is one of the eight stages of psychosocial development proposed by pioneering psychoanalyst Erik Erikson (1902 – 1994). Each of the stages described by Erikson constitute a milestone in personality development, wherein the child is faced with a primary psychological issue / theme/ conflict that he/she needs to resolve satisfactorily for healthy development of the personality. For eg., the conflict faced by the child in its first year is, “ Is the world a good and safe place to live in?” and in its second year is, “Am I capable of controlling my environment?”

Touch

TOUCH – A POWERFUL SENSE INDEED!!

“What’s in a touch?” one may ask. I came across an article on ‘psyblog’ ( read it here) that seemed to convey, “what is NOT in a touch?” The potency of touch as a means of communication is often underestimated. We often use ‘conversation’ or ‘talking’ and ‘communication’ synonymously, even while we surely have read about facial expressions and body language as being more powerful than spoken content while in interaction. Going one step ahead, body language immediately brings to our mind elements of body posture such as slouching, stooping, standing upright, having hands folded etc. Well, what we miss out on, possibly due to cultural norms, is that body language also involves touch.

Parent child communication

TELLING IT RIGHT – TIPS FOR COMMUNICATION WITH CHILDREN

Imagine a scenario, where you are an athlete, a runner and you have a coach who is giving you some last minute instructions before the race starts. Which set of instructions are likely to help you?

“Be attentive to all those around you, there are superior runners here. Some have won many such races in the past. They are medalists. Be very attentive to the whistle. Don’t miss it.”

OR

“You have practiced what you could, now enjoy the run. Run freely with your whole mind and body. Don’t worry. Give your best.”

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The Art of Listening