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Dealing With Obsessive Perfectionism
‘I strive to be perfect!! Well, not always; but there are a few areas where I seek perfection.’ Such areas could be studies, one’s appearance or work related projects. Perfectionism in one or more areas is a trait some of us identify with. We want a perfect state of mind before we begin work and a smooth, perfect route to task completion. The question I want to raise here is – Does the quest for perfection help or hurt? You might say, “both”.
My next question would be, “does it hurt more than it helps?” Wait a minute, you don’t have to answer me immediately.
I’d like you to take a few minutes though and think about this before you continue reading. It is an important question for you.
MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE – TIPS FOR GOAL SETTING
We all have dreams. We have a multitude of wishes. Most of us want a life that is at least a little if not very different from the one we’re living now. A better brighter reality. There’s a lot that we want, but unfortunately don’t always manage to achieve. Why so? Why don’t dreams turn into reality?
To create the reality that we want, we first need to dream it. You can’t consciously create what you can’t imagine.
The first and perhaps the most crucial step in achieving what you want is understanding what it is that you really want. Sounds simple to the extent of being silly does it?
EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITY CLASSES FOR CHILDREN: HEALTHY OR UNHEALTHY?
A good number of us watch our children run from one tuition class to another. Then they have school homework, tuition homework, school tests and tuition tests to take care of. Moreover, children today also go to a number of extracurricular or activity classes. They sure learn how to multitask early on! Parents are divided in their opinion of this trend. While some of us feel it is the order of the day, some others think it disturbs the natural experience of ‘childhood’. I wanted to share with you some questions which if you ask yourselves may help to you gain more clarity as to whether a particular extra class is healthy or unhealthy for the child’s development.
TAKING ONE STEP AT A TIME TOWARDS OUR GOAL
“To take the first step in faith, you don’t have to see the whole staircase: just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King
We all have goals – personal, professional, spiritual. I often help people define clear goals, which would help them get a clear picture of what it is that they really want and would in turn help fine-tune their efforts to achieve the same. Making goal lists or vision boards helps immensely in giving your pursuits and life some structure.
However, for some of us the goal list itself can be fear inducing. The goals may seem beyond reach and we may find ourselves in the tight grip of anxiety and distress because achievement of the goals doesn’t seem possible. This may be stemming out of low confidence, inadequate resources, lack of discipline or even just procrastination. The target may seem too high up on the peak and the path too treacherous to undertake.
PRESERVING THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP
As parents, we are naturally concerned about our children. We want them to have a bright future and be self sufficient. Anything that we see as taking the child away from this prospect worries us. We worry, fret and spend considerable time and energy correcting the child. “Don’t do this, it’s bad for you.” “Why don’t you listen to me?”, “I’m saying this for your good and nobody else’s!!” are some statements you would probably connect with. At times, we happen to spend ALL our time with the child in correcting him/her. We consider it our duty to mould them right. Hence, many of us would be constantly on the lookout for the negative behavior, be it disinterest in studies, lack of social interaction, excessive viewing of television, argumentativeness or aggression. Every repetition of that behavior frustrates us and we chide and scold our children or maybe even beat them. However, a good number of times, our child continues to engage in the negative behavior. Therefore, is the current approach you are using effective? What is going wrong here?
WHY DO WE GET ANXIOUS?
Anxiety – that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach, making you uneasy and jittery.. what causes that? Why do we get anxious?
A good chunk of the answer to this lies in our thought processes. We often have recurrent patterns of thought that cause, contribute to or maintain anxiety. Some such thoughts are described in this blog.
