Here we write articles that we think would contribute to personal growth and development. They are not necessarily tailored to any age group but are general musings about self growth
The persona refers to the social mask you wear in public. It is the part of your conscious self that you present to the outside world; it is the image you wish to present to others. The persona includes your social roles, and it can be seen as a kind of ‘psychological clothing’ that you wear. However, identifying too strongly with a specific persona can limit your growth in many ways.
Those who have social anxiety fear social situations. This fear could be felt in all social situations or it could be about a specific kind of social situation: public speaking, going to parties, attending meetings, talking to classmates or colleagues, making phone calls, eating in public, buying something from a store, etc. The anxiety experienced in these social situations is strongly connected to the fear of being judged negatively by others.
Death Anxiety is not simply anxiety about dying but anxiety about not living meaningfully. Culturally, we are averse to talking of death. However, awareness of one’s finite time on this planet in this form is probably one of the most important factors for living meaningfully. What “living well” means is unique to you but it requires some deep exploration from your end.
Take a moment. Think about something you really want to do, but haven’t yet because you are afraid it might not work out:
Taking up that new project at work. Starting your own homemade cupcakes business. Shifting to a new house. Starting a fitness regime. Investing in some property. Taking a break from work to travel. Telling that someone special you love them.
Your mind is probably telling you: What if it doesn’t work out? What if it is a big mistake? What if I fail? Sometimes, when you want to take up something new, your mind will tell you that you are not ready, even if you are. Yes, taking up something new does come with changes and some amount of risk but it also comes with a gamut of exciting possibilities.
When you are scared to fail, you take a step back. You colour inside the lines. This fear limits you from attempting certain activities, taking risks and you start to undermine your potential.
You are able to live with yourself because you know you are fundamentally good!
You know that all your inadequacies and the not so good qualities exist either because they are judged that way by people around you or because you picked them up somewhere on the way because of the difficulties that life sent your way.
You are correct! The deepest core of you, of all of us, every person is beautiful.
Everyone wants to know what their strengths are – what they are good at, what situations they can pull-off well and what about them helps them cope better with life.
‘Strengths’ of any person are unique. Even if two people have the same strength, for example, good communication skills, the way each person’s communication skills show up in life would be very very different.
Sometimes, it is this unique nature of strengths that makes it difficult for you to truly identify what your strengths are. You probably think – ‘God, he’s so effective with customers’, or, ‘She’s so good with conversation!’ when you notice others.
Sometimes, we feel stuck in a situation. We feel like nothing seems to be working and that we can’t think of solutions for ourselves. Then we feel like any attempt to try and solve the problem is a useless exercise and give it all up, feeling frustrated and hopeless within. I came across an article ‘The Creative Power of Thinking Outside Yourself’. This article reminded me of something I often use with my clients in therapy. According to this article:
“New research suggests we generate more creative ideas for other people than for ourselves”
What’s common between a daughter-in-law devastated by her mother-in-laws behaviour, a man who cannot bear the boredom of his work anymore, a parent who is terribly stressed because his child refuses to study, a man who cannot believe he has lost his wife so suddenly, and a woman who is overwhelmed because she has been diagnosed with breast cancer?
As I see it, a few things …
The situation is grave
It has taken the joy out of life
Most of the day and sometimes a good part of the night is spent in thinking about the problem and thinking how to resolve it
A sense of being stuck, and trapped- a feeling that I cannot get out of this…
Do you feel like this about some situation of your life?
Become the person that you want to be…one day at a time.
We all have an image of our ideal self, the kind of human being we would like to be, of the kind of life we would like to live. But more often than not, reality has a different plan for us. No matter how much we want to be the tranquil, equanimous, all-accepting, ever-blissful Buddha, somehow we end up being the angry, frustrated and anxious poor Joe instead.
Why don’t you ever listen?
You just don’t understand me!
Why are you always late?
You must study or you won’t score well
You are of no help at all!
You are so insensitive, you just don’t care, you don’t love me!
Are these statements you have faced at one time or the other? How did it make you feel? How did you respond to it? Did it make you want to listen and cooperate? Or did it feel like an accusation?
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
We specialize in combining psychotherapy with deep wellness practices like mindfulness and meditation and creating a customized mental health plan for individuals and organisations.
A young woman from another country moved with her family to live for one year in a town near the monastery. When, in the course of the year she discovered the monastery, she would periodically visit to have discussions with the Abbess. The Abbess introduced her to meditation, which became very meaningful for the young woman.
When the family’s year-long stay was drawing to an end, the young woman asked the Abbess, “In my country there is no Buddhism and no one has even heard about meditation. How can I continue to learn and deepen the practice you have started me on?”
The Abbess said, “When you return home ask far and wide for who, among the wise people, is recognized as having the greatest ability to listen. Ask that person to instruct you in the art of listening. What you learn about listening from such a person will teach you how to further your meditation practice.
― Gil Fronsdal, A Monastery Within: Tales from the Buddhist Path
